James Decker - Fallout

“It’s okay.”

I took his hands, and let them warm mine. He sighed, and looked down at the seat between us.

“Seems like there’s never a good time, huh?”

“That’s my fault,” I said.

“No, it isn’t.”

The truth was that Shuang managed it. She got involved with this, and put her whole life on hold. She did all that just to get another shot, the shot I’d been afraid to even take.

“Why didn’t you stay with her?” I asked him.

“Look, I know you didn’t want me to come—”

“I’m glad you came. Just… why didn’t you go with her? She really cares about you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you care about her?”

I saw him struggle with an answer to that.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “I do.”

“Then why didn’t you—”

“Because I wanted to be with you.”

“But—” I managed to clamp down on it before I asked “but why?”, but the thought lingered. She was tall, and I was short. She was gorgeous and I wasn’t. She had great legs, great tits, full lips, all the things I didn’t have. My throat burned.

“Sam… this isn’t fair,” he said.

“I know.”

“You know you were my first choice.”

“I know.”

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes. “What happened between us happened a long time ago,” he muttered.

“She seems like she’s still thinking about it,” I said.

“I know.”

“Are you?”

“I did, for a long time.”

“But not anymore.”

“No. Not anymore.”

He sidled closer, and put an arm around my shoulders.

“Come on,” I said, shoving him a little with my elbow. “I’m filthy.”

“So am I.”

He was warm. Vamp’s temperature always ran high. His hands were always warm, really warm, and I found myself settling against him despite what I’d said.

He held me, and after a while, as the adrenaline chill left me, I let my body relax. I rested my head against him, and put one hand on this chest. I could feel his heart beating there, heavy, and fast.

“I’ve missed you, Vamp,” I said. It just kind of popped out.

When I looked up I saw him watching me, staring right into my eyes. He ran one thumb over my shoulder.

“Stop it,” I said, but there wasn’t much conviction there.

He leaned in and kissed me, full on the mouth. I started to push against his chest but somehow my hand ended up running up the side of his neck instead, until my palm was on his cheek. He ran his fingers through my hair, scattering rim grit down my back as he pulled me in closer. I parted my mouth and let his tongue touch mine.

When he felt me kiss him back he moved in, kissing me hard. The whole thing was insane. We were probably going to be arrested before the day was out. Even as I snaked one arm around his neck and his stubble ran rough across my cheek, images kept intruding… Shuang biting his lip, pressing against him… guards shocking them… Nix’s face, back from the grave like a real life jiangshi, moving close to mine and telling me the things I thought were real were all lies… and somewhere in the middle of it all, Qian’s almond eyes staring into mine.

“I will tolerate ideas, not action. Do you understand…?”

Vamp’s hand pressed warm against my ribs, his thumb just brushing the base of my breast, waiting for an invitation, desperate for an invitation.

I turned in the seat and let him ease me onto my back, pulling him in closer and kissing him back. Our lips mashed together and as his tongue moved against mine his hand moved to squeeze my breast, such as it was. My nipple turned hard as he rubbed it with his thumb, sending a shiver down the length of me. I locked my legs around him as he pressed himself against my crotch, grinding his hard bulge in, rubbing until he tripped the right spot for a second and I sucked a breath in through my nose.

The whole thing was nuts, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. Vamp’s hand slipped under my shirt, touching my bare breast while his other one reached down to unbuckle my belt.

I thought if I was going to stop him, I’d better do it then, but I didn’t. He unzipped my pants, pushing the flaps aside and slipping his fingertips down past the spay scars to the ruff of coarse hair.

I pulled him down, lying on my back with my hips still locked with his, my butt up off the seat. My phone slipped out of my pocket and thumped down onto the floor mat as he reached lower, fingers working me. Vamp was good with his hands. He was really good with his hands. I could feel my pulse pounding in my neck, my breath panting through my nose as he drove me closer and closer to the edge.

I reached down, fumbling with his belt, ignoring the horns that honked down below us and managing to get it undone as he continued working me slowly. I found his zipper, and pulled.

Something buzzed as I got the zipper halfway down. Then it snagged. I could feel him now, hot against my palm. I tried to get the zipper going again, when the buzz came again. It was my phone. My stupid phone was ringing.

I cracked one eye open and saw the glow from the screen as it buzzed on the floor down by the aircar’s pedals. Vamp had his eyes open too, now, and had seen it.

Never mind the phone, I thought, squeezing him in my hand. Never mind the goddamned…

His hand stopped.

“Forget the phone,” I gasped, breaking our kiss. “Just forget it.”

I saw him think about doing that, I saw him seriously think about doing exactly that, but something stopped him. He was looking down at the phone, able to see the screen that I couldn’t make out, and in spite of the heat pouring off him, his hand pulled away.

“Vamp—”

“It’s Alexei,” he said, breathing hard. His breath was hot on my neck and chest. He looked angry, and frustrated, but he was telling me anyway, knowing what it meant. “It’s Alexei.”

I jerked away from him, like he knew I would, and scrambled for the phone. I managed to get a hold of it, and pick up the call, still on my back, with Vamp hanging over me.

“Alexei,” I breathed. “Alexei, where the fuck are you?”

“I’m in Xinzhongzi.”

“What are you doing there?” I asked. “No, don’t tell me. I’m coming to get you. Get out past the security gate, and I’ll—”

“I can’t. I have to do this. Tell Dragan I had to do this, and that I’m sorry.”

“Alexei—”

“I just wanted to say that.” He paused. “You mean a lot to me, too. I’m sorry.”

“Alexei—”

“Good-bye, Sam.”

The line dropped.

“Goddamn it!”

I punched the dash hard enough to hurt my hand. Vamp tried to take my arm, but I pulled it away. I stared out the windshield, fuming, scared, and still a little horny. Below, the suburban sprawl gave way to clusters of shanty shacks, and then finally piles of waste salt at the shore. Beyond them were towers of rust and greased metal pumping in seawater. At the shore, clouds of scaleflies swarmed with circling trash birds.

“He’s in Xinzhongzi,” I said.

“How the hell did he get in there?”

“I don’t know. Vamp, I’m afraid he’s going to try to do something stupid.”

I disengaged the autonav, and took back the control stick.

“What are you doing?” Vamp asked.

“I’m going to go get him.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

I leaned over and kissed him once more, on the mouth.

“Shit,” Vamp hissed. He looked past me, and his face fell.

I heard it a second after Vamp did, the whine of emitters growing louder, and turned toward the passenger side window in time to see the aircar on the other side rush in, and fill it.