Jo Graham: Homecoming

“Let’s take a walk.” John reached a hand down to help her to her feet.

Together, they came out of the trees to the edge of the field, guns at port arms, every moment seeming as long as hours.

“Teyla!” Jinto, who was still fanning himself with his hat, looked up. “Father, it’s Teyla!”

John raised his left hand in greeting. Unlike her, he could manage the P90 with one hand. “Jinto!”

Halling raised his head, as did the other reapers. Halling laid his sickle on the ground and smiled, though she thought he also looked perplexed. “Colonel Sheppard! Teyla! We did not expect you for two days yet.”

They walked toward him, Ronon and the others keeping silent watch from the edge of the woods.

“Truly, we did not expect to be here so soon either,” Teyla said.

“We had a distress call,” John said flatly. A thin line of sweat was running down his neck into the collar of his black shirt. “Saying that New Athos was under attack. That there was a Culling.”

Halling looked from one to the other, his smile fading. “We have made no such call.”

John’s frown deepened. “Somebody activated the gate and sent through a radio signal. A distress call. Saying that there was a Culling happening right now. Here. We came as fast as we could.”

Halling spread his hands to the sun dappled fields. The reapers were out, bringing in the grain. “As you can see, nothing is happening. I am deeply grateful that you came to our assistance, and also mortified that you have done so in vain. I cannot imagine who has done such a thing, and I do not like for us to waste your time thus.”

“Somebody accessed the gate and sent out a distress call,” John said doggedly. “I think we’d better find out who.”

“The gate is some distance from the settlement,” Halling said. “We don’t have a watch on the gate and no one can see it from our fields. Anyone could have dialed the gate.

That is true, Teyla said.

Come. We will ask. Halling looked apologetic. Of course. It was embarrassing to the Athosians to cry for help when none was required, to waste the time of an ally who might, the next time, be less swift to come to their aid. Perhaps someone dialed for. He looked as though he could not think of a good reason.

Yeah, John said. He looked only a hair less wary. He turned back toward the edge of the woods. It's ok! Ronon! Lorne!

Ronon rose up like a phantom from the edge of the grain field, his energy pistol in his hand. This is weird.

Tell me about it, John said as the others emerged from the edge of the trees. Let's go see what Halling can shake out of his folks.

I do not understand, Teyla said. The adrenaline was leaving her body, leaving her suddenly flat and drained, as though it ran from her like water.

Halling had turned and they followed him up the path from field to settlement, the sun hot above them.

I don't either, John said. But I don't like it.

A few people came over curiously as they came into the settlement, mostly children and the few elders remaining. Most of the men and women were in the fields at this time of day, or had gone toward the river to fish or to gather the green ferns that grew along its banks in the spray of the swift moving water.

Halling pitched his voice to carry. Was anyone dialed Atlantis today? Our friends have had a call from us. They have come at our urgent request. Who has called them?

John looked at the gaggle of young teens, the ones too young to work as Jinto did. It's ok to tell if you did it for a joke. I just want to know who did it.

Some joke, Rodney said at Teyla's elbow.

Yes, she said tightly. It is hardly funny.

Way I speak with you?

Teyla turned, feeling a little weak in the knees now that the adrenaline high was receding. A distress call from New Athos when her son was here with his father was a terror she had anticipated in her worst dreams, but that did not make it any easier when it came. Reason had no place in this.

Kanaan held Torren by the hand. Torren looked rebellious, as he did now that he was a big boy. Torren responded to her mood, and he must know how worried she had been even if the cause meant nothing to him.

Of course, Teyla said quietly. Bending, she scooped Torren into her arms, pressing her face against his soft hair. He smelled like Torren, like warm baby and sunshine, and he put his arms around her neck. Tears pricked behind her eyes.

Leaving John and Rodney talking with Halling, she went aside, standing in the shade of a tent. The bees were buzzing in the fruiting tree above, and across the encampment Ronon stood careful watch. John glanced around, and she saw him stiffen. Then he turned, his eyes on Halling.

We must talk, Kanaan said.

She brought her eyes back to him, his tired familiar face, the face of her friend of a lifetime, the father of her son. His dark eyes were bright.

Torren is a year and a half old, Kanaan said. And while I have been glad to have him these days to become reacquainted since your return to this galaxy, you had him six months.

And I have told you I never meant to do that, Teyla said hotly. He was on Atlantis when we went to Earth, and we could not get back for many months. It was not by my choice.

And what do you think I felt? The gate address dead? All the word from other worlds that the City of the Ancestors was destroyed? What do you think I thought?

Teyla bent her head. I am sure you thought him dead. I am sure you thought us dead. But there was no way to tell you otherwise. It preyed on me, that you must think so. But we had no way of communicating with you. She lifted her face to his again. I will tell you a thousand times that I am sorry. But I do not know what else I could have done. Torren was struggling in her arms, and she bent to put him on the ground at their feet.

You could not gate away from the city before it left? he asked. You could not have brought Torren to me, if you would not come yourself? They would not let you go?

Teyla took a deep breath. That is not true, she said. Or. Woolsey offered me the chance to leave, me and Ronon. I could have gone.

And you did not. His voice was mild, but she saw him stiffen.

I did not, Teyla said, every word like a dagger. I did not know it would be so long. I thought it would be a few weeks, perhaps. And I could not leave my friends and the duties to which I have promised myself.

You did not wish to leave.

Teyla drew herself up. Ao, she said.

I mourned you, he said simply.

I know.

I mourned my son, and sung for him as though he had been taken in a Culling, with no body left to burn. His voice caught, and she knew this was not the first time. He had sung thus for his first son, Ayahdu, taken by the Wraith at eight years old. I cannot do this again and again. I cannot mourn over and over, never knowing.

It is not fair, Teyla agreed steadily. And it is not right.

Will you and Torren stay here this time? Not Torren alone for a few nights?â

Teyla swallowed. Her eyes evaded his. Rodney was pacing around, swinging his arms. There is much to do…, she began.

You are never coming back. Kanaan said it as a statement, and there was no anger in his voice. He shook his head, a rueful smile on his face, as though he smiled at his own foolishness. Her father had looked thus, when he said that a man who tried to tame the wind got what he deserved. This is not your home, Teyla. Perhaps it never has been. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow you will return, but you do not. There is always a good reason.

Then things are…, she began, and her eyes pricked with tears.

You are never coming, Kanaan said quietly. This is something I know. You will never stay here and work in the fields, hunt the forests and leave your white towers.