James Thompson - Helsinki White

“It’s taken care of. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. And handsome though you are in them, don’t make it a habit of wearing expensive suits. Just don’t do things that call attention to yourselves.”

Milo and Sweetness looked at each other and traded grins.

“What?” I asked.

Sweetness laughed out loud.

Milo said, “Where should I begin? Let’s see. You and I were in the headlines just weeks ago for stopping that school shooting and killing a man. Your limp makes you noticeable from a mile away, and that bullet wound scar on your face is fucking scary. You’re a walking billboard that screams ‘Look at me!’ And our giant colleague makes quite an impression on people as well. You’re just being silly.”

The crew had taken up the habit of speaking English in Kate’s presence, out of politeness.

“They’re right, you know,” Kate said, and I saw it dawn on them that she must be privy to everything. She looked at Sulo. “Sweetness,” she said, “would you be a dear and bring me a cup of coffee, with a little milk in it?” Sulo translates to “sweet,” and so it seemed natural to her to call him that. She had no idea what she’d done.

Milo hee-hawed. “Sweetness, that’s great! Sweetness, could I have a cup, too?” And thus, Sulo became Sweetness forevermore. He maintained his dignity and pretended as if nothing had happened. He asked me if I would care for a cup. He served us all, even Milo.

“Thank you, Sweetness,” Milo said.

Sweetness stood up, walked over to peruse my CD collection, kept his back to us so we couldn’t see his face turn red. “ Pomo , do you mind if I put on some music?”

I told him to go ahead, and we all sat without speaking and listened to Charlie Parker blow saxophone. The group had a strange dynamic. Milo and Sweetness both emulated me, vied for my attention, and I got the feeling I had taken on some kind of father figure role for them. They spent far more time in our home than necessary, stopped by under any pretense. They were just in the neighborhood and popped in. Did we need anything from the grocery?

Their demeanor toward Kate carried something with it that suggested motherhood, and her quiet dignity and bearing, especially when she held Anu, reinforced it. Despite Kate lacking the lush figure commonly portrayed during the period, she and Anu together often called to my mind Renaissance images of Madonna and Child. Milo and Sweetness bickered and insulted each other constantly, but then Milo took Sweetness out and helped him shop for clothes, reminiscent of the behavior of brothers. And finally, Arvid Lahtinen called me every couple days, and the tone of our conversations were much like grandfather and grandson.

I’d only known Arvid a few weeks, and our relationship was forged by criminal activity and murder. Among other things, his wife had cancer, he helped her to die, and I covered it up for him. Plus, he knew my grandpa during the Second World War. They were friends and killed many men together.

And now we were phone friends. I’d never had a phone friend before, but I enjoyed his calls.

My relationship with Sweetness also began with an act of violence. Two bouncers accidentally killed his brother. He repaid them by stabbing them with a box cutter and hitting them repeatedly in the face with a key ring, the keys protruding from between his fingers, causing awful puncture wounds and disfiguring them. I gave him a chance and offered him a job on a drunken whim, because he had a shitty upbringing and I felt sorry for him, and because I thought his capacity for violence would be of use to me.

I picked up my phone and called my neurologist brother, Jari. He picked up. “Hello, big brother,” I said to him, even though he’s half my size, because he’s four years older than me.

It was two days until brain surgery, his voice radiated concern. “You OK?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but I made a decision. I’m going to be out of action anyway. I want to take care of all my problems at once.”

“Such as?”

“I want to check into the hospital early. Tomorrow. I want the scar on my face removed, and surgery on my knee to repair it as best as they’re able.”

He laughed at me. “Hospitals and surgeons don’t offer one-day service, and you need tests on your knee to find out how to best repair the damage, how much of the damage can be repaired, or even if it can be repaired at all.”

“My appearance interferes with my work as a detective. If I can get them all done at once, I won’t have so much downtime from work, and I have a baby to take care of. I know you can get it done if you call in favors. I’m asking you for a favor.”

Kate still had trouble believing that medical care is essentially free here. Brain surgery, all the attendant tests and the hospital stay would cost me nothing. The police have private insurance, so I get preferential care. I forget, maybe I pay a fifty-euro-a-year deductible. Nothing more. For an uninsured citizen using the public health-care system, a hospital stay costs fifteen euros a day. A doctor’s visit about the same. Specialists cost nothing extra. Tests are cheap or free. Medicine can be expensive, but most people can easily afford to be sick here.

“Well, the scar removal could be called a procedure as much as a surgery. We can have your knee assessed, and if your tumor removal goes well, it’s possible to do them both in a short time frame. “I’ll make some calls and get back to you,” he said.

I rang off. Everyone gawked at me, too shocked to question my decision, even Kate.

Sweetness changed Charlie Parker for Charlie Christian and sat down again. I issued my edicts. Milo was in charge. There would be no robberies, heists, B amp;Es, or any such activity while I was away. Robberies made enemies, they might cause problems. Milo would commit no acts of violence, because he enjoys them. If violence was necessary, it would fall under Sweetness’s domain, because he doesn’t enjoy it. Also, Milo was famous, Sweetness was unknown. He would be our front man, the face of the team, if we needed one. I suspect Sweetness has sociopath tendencies, doesn’t care if he hurts people or not. Milo got a carrot on a stick. He was to teach Sweetness computer skills. In return, he would slowly get to take more part in the exciting, meaning violent, aspects of the job if they were required. I sensed resentment between Milo and Sweetness. Neither liked the arrangement, but they nodded agreement.

“That includes your hobby,” I said to Milo. “No B amp;Es for voyeurism. I don’t want you to get in any kind of trouble.”

Milo’s hobby is breaking into people’s houses for fun. He doesn’t steal. Just looks around, prowls, goes through their things. He told me he just enjoys seeing how people live, what kinds of secrets they’re hiding. It’s some kind of fetish. His face went red and he glanced over his shoulder to check Kate’s reaction. She pretended as though she heard nothing.

“You’re not to skim or steal,” I said. “You don’t have to. Both of you get five percent of the take. You’ll continue to get it as long as you don’t flash it around.”

I told them that while I was out of action and recovering, Milo was to get us outfitted with everything we needed to cut the legs out from under the criminals of Helsinki.

“Go heavy on surveillance gear,” I said. “We’re not going to war with the criminals of Helsinki, we’re going to steal them broke and put them out of business.”

“I know what we need,” Milo said. “It’s going to cost a fuckload of money.”

“Then spend the fuckload of money. We have plenty.” I continued, “I don’t trust the people we work for. Sweetness, I want you to surveil Jyri, the national chief of police, the interior minister, and also the leadership of Kokoomus”-the conservative party to which they belong-“and whatever other politicos you find they associate with. Just spot tail them at random. See what turns up.”