Kevin Anderson - The Trinity Paradox

Holly tried to glance at Elizabeth’s finger. “Not married, huh? Plenty of available men here if you want to grab one and settle down.”

For some reason Elizabeth felt like an old maid. “No, I’m not married.” And I think I’ll refrain from “grabbing a man and settling down” for the moment, she thought with annoyance. “How about yourself?”

“My Eddie heads up the Chemical Nuclide Division. We were at Cornell when he got tapped for the Project. It’s all so exciting, and it’s great to be doing something, you know, important for the war effort.” She laughed. “It was bad enough dragging me away from Louisiana to go to New York in the first place. But now, bringing me to the Wild West, I guess I shouldn’t have bad-mouthed the Northeast. Where are you from?”

“Montana.”

“Jiminy! I didn’t know they even had universities there. What on earth is Montana famous for?” Holly looked shocked, then suddenly apologetic. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Elizabeth smiled tightly. “That’s all right. My, er, husband was a professor at Montana State, and I used to be involved with the ladies’ club there.” She had to force the words out of her mouth. Emotions welled up in her, cutting off her voice, but she dug her fingernails into the meat of her palm. She had to keep up the act. “After Jeff died, I was asked to come here, get my mind off him.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. How did he die? In the war?”

Elizabeth winced, then turned away. “I’d, rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.”

Thinking of Jeff, knowing he was lying somewhere in a shallow cave in a canyon wall, made pain rise up in her again. But the ease with which she fabricated her story surprised her. Thank you, Mrs. Canapelli. Now she had the perfect alibi for being here, unless someone else showed up from Montana State—which seemed unlikely from Holly’s reaction.

Holly fidgeted in her chair. “You poor dear. Here, let me show you what to do.” The simple instructions lasted another five minutes, repeated and stressed, though Elizabeth had figured out the task in thirty seconds. Holly asked no further questions about her personal life, and Elizabeth did not encourage conversation.

As she started filing, Elizabeth felt thankful that it would give her a chance to glance through the personnel files and help her get a better grasp on what this era was like, who else was here.

In the back of her mind, she tried to recall everything she knew about World War II and the Manhattan Project. She found her mind wandering, mixing up dates, so she tried to write down snippets of facts on a sheet while filing people’s folders. She kept the notes in her own shorthand code, something cobbled together from years of college note-taking. If somebody else found it, the scribbles would seem nonsensical.

After three straight hours of filing and no one entering the office, Holly stood and put a hand to the small of her back. She carefully touched her hair. “I’m running down to the lodge. Do you want to come and take a break?”

“The lodge?”

“Fuller Lodge has the only real meal in town, until they get the cafeteria built. If you want to chance the food at the civilian mess, that’s up to you. But if you can’t eat at the dorm, I’d stick to the lodge.”

Elizabeth straightened and surveyed her pile of paperwork, half as high as it had been when she entered the room. She wanted some time alone, so she could snoop around. “Tell you what,” she said, “if you’re right about my reassignment coming today, I won’t be able to finish this. Why don’t you just bring me back something and I’ll try to get done here.”

“You’re a gift, Elizabeth. I really appreciate this.” Holly rummaged for her purse. “What should I bring you?”

“Oh, a salad is fine. With ranch dressing on the side.”

Holly stopped and stared, then a wry smile spread across her face. “A salad— what a riot! You’re starting to fit right in! What in the world is a ranch dressing? How about a cheeseburger or a hot dog? Depends what they have warmed up.”

“Yum.”

Holly didn’t notice Elizabeth’s lack of enthusiasm. “I’ll spell you when I get back. That way you can catch lunch and take the afternoon off after your papers arrive.”

“Sure. Whatever.”

As Holly left, Elizabeth blinked and thought to herself that she couldn’t even take the food here for granted. Cholesterol city—no low-fat, no high fiber, everything loaded with preservatives. No diet drinks—or else they’d probably be filled with saccharine—no caffeine-free drinks, and no mineral water for sure. She felt her stomach turning already.

Once Holly left, Elizabeth moved to the back of the office and pulled out her list. She skimmed her cribbed notes:

—Okay, WWII started around 1940, ended 1945 (?). Germany (Nazis); Italy (Fascists); and Japanese.

—FDR is Pres, then Truman. FDR died in office. When? Truman dropped the bomb.

—Manhattan Project set up the secret town of Los Alamos in New Mexico mountains (Jemez). Bunch of scientists gathered together to develop the bomb. Headed by Oppenheimer. Tested bomb near Alamogordo: “Trinity” site.

—Built two bombs, Fat Man and Little Boy, to drop on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. (Wish I could remember the dates!) One bomb used a gun method and one used implosion scheme. Plane carrying the bomb is Enola Gay. Left from somewhere in the South Pacific. Not sure if the Enola Gay was used for both bombs. Don’t know how long between Hiroshima and Nagasaki; a few weeks most between Trinity and Hiroshima.

—Germans dabbled in their own bomb concept, but they screwed up something. Heisenberg goofed a calculation, wrote down a wrong cross-section (?). Can’t remember what it was.

Elizabeth sent a thousand silent curses to her former high school history teachers. She had never been an expert in history, but her years at Berkeley had given her the basics of when the major scientific advances had occurred. The time working for United Atomics, although in the fusion reactor group, helped her get comfortable with the jargon; and the real education started with the protest work, the Livermore incident and her time in New Mexico with the Santa Fe activists.

She felt a knot growing in her stomach, and not just at the thought of a greasy cheeseburger or a goat-meat hot dog. I’m letting this get to me! she thought. Relax, it’s only my mind. I couldn’t screw up if I tried. None of this is really happening.

She would still have to return to the MCG site soon and look around. Maybe she had missed something there and could figure things out. She also had to find a place to bury Jeff, before the coyotes found him. She pushed that thought from her mind and tried to concentrate on her list. Jeff had always called her a pragmatist.

I have to know more than this about World War II! But she didn’t. She knew a bunch of movies, but who could tell how accurate they were? The list served only to orient herself, anchor her mind so that whatever happened was consistent with what she remembered about history. If her mind was undergoing some sort of healing process, then this experience would feel as true to her as anything her memory could dish out. But yet… the urgency of the people around her, what else could it be? If it wasn’t her mind, she kept getting the same damned answer of time travel, but didn’t want to face it—

“Excuse me. Would this be In-Processing?”

Elizabeth jumped in her chair. She crumpled her list in a ball and rose from her chair.

“The door says this is In-Processing,” the man said, as if pointing it out to Elizabeth. His words carried a British accent.

A thin man, wearing an oversized coat and a narrow black tie, twisted a hat in his hands. His elbow held a manila envelope to his side. His eyes darted around the cluttered office, and when they rested on Elizabeth, they revealed a sad look. Elizabeth could see deep lines of experience etched onto his face.