Ben Bova - The Sam Gunn Omnibus

“But he promised to marry me,” Marlowe said, as firmly as a judge pronouncing sentence on a doomed prisoner.

“Okay,” Sam said lightly. “I’ll marry you.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Jill Meyers snapped. “If you marry anybody, Sam Gunn, it’s going to be me. I’ve waited too long and been left at the altar too many times to let you go off with … with this … with anybody else.”

Smiling as benignly as a saint painted by Raphael, Sam said, “Don’t worry, Jill, I’ll marry you. Honest.” “You can’t marry both of us!” Marlowe said.

Sam raised two fingers. “You forget, people, that there are two of me. My duplicate is out at the black hole in the Kuiper Belt, but I can call him back. He’ll be overjoyed to make you his wife, Jennifer. I know, believe me.”

“Your duplicate! I don’t want a duplicate. I want the original Sam Gunn.”

Spreading his arms in a gesture that might, in another man, have indicated helplessness, Sam said, “But which of us is the original? We have the same physical makeup, down to the quantum vibrations of our atoms. We have the same memories, the same personality. Take your pick. For crying out loud, neither one of us knows who’s the original and who’s the copy.”

Marlowe gaped at him, her startling blue eyes wide.

Jill laughed. “I’ll take either one. Whichever I can get.”

Laughing back at her, Sam said, “Atta girl! That’s my Jill.”

Marlowe sank back in her armchair, silent, looking confused.

“What’s the matter, Jen?” Sam asked. “You can have your dream come true. You can marry me. We’ll live happily ever after, more or less.”

The Beryllium Blonde slowly shook her head. “I don’t want either one of you!” She rose to her feet, her face a mask of frustrated anger.

“All right, Sam. You win. I’ll drop the suit; fat lot of good it would do me if one of you is willing to go through with a wedding.”

She turned and headed for the front door.

“Ms. Marlowe!” Jill called to her.

The Blonde stopped, but didn’t turn around.

To her back, Jill Meyers said, “Ten million is way too much. But I’ll send you one million. You’ve earned that much in aggravation, I imagine.”

The Blonde turned and said, “Thank you,” through gritted teeth. Then she marched to the door and left.

Once the door slid shut, Jill broke into delighted laughter. “Talk about chutzpa! Your twin would marry her! How could you say that, Sam?”

“Because he’s exactly like me. He’d marry her and they’d have a terrific honeymoon. I wouldn’t give you much of a chance for afterward, though.”

Jade sank into the armchair that the Blonde had vacated.

Sam turned to her. “Okay. La Marlowe has left the field of battle and I’ve surrendered to my beloved Jill. Is there any other business?”

“Beloved Jill?” Meyers murmured, delighted.

“Yeah,” said Sam. “After all these years, you still want me?”

Jade was surprised to see tears in Jill Meyers’s eyes.

“Yes, I still want you, Sam. I love you.”

“I can’t imagine why,” he bantered. “But, for what it’s worth, I love you too, Jill.”

She leaped out of her chair and onto Sam’s lap. Jade felt her cheeks flush as they kissed passionately.

Sam at last came up for air. His face looked red, too. “Okay, kid,” he said to Jade. “I guess that wraps up everything with a nice blue ribbon.”

“Um, not quite,” Jade said, almost in a whisper.

“What? You want to know about the orchestra?”

“That, and—”

Sam didn’t give her a chance to finish. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But it’s strictly between us, right?”

Among us, Jade corrected silently.

With Jill still on his lap, Sam explained, “If that committee of bluenoses lets me take control of the orchestra, I’ll appoint Satay as its musical director. Then he can apply for citizenship in Selene and get it.”

“He wants citizenship here?” Jade asked.

“And Selene won’t allow him in?” asked Jill Meyers.

“Selene’s very strict about awarding citizenship,” Sam answered. “Otherwise they’d have a horde of refugees streaming here.”

“But Satay’s a famous musician,” said Jade.

“And you’re a judge of the International Court,” Sam countered. “Have you applied for citizenship?”

“No,” Jill admitted.

“If you did, you’d find out how tough they can be.” Stroking her back gently, Sam went on, “Fortunately, you’re going to marry a Selenite. That’ll make you a citizen automatically.”

Jill kissed him on the cheek.

Sam cocked a brow at her. “Say, is that why you want to marry me? To get citizenship here?”

Before Jade could blink, Jill pulled both Sam’s ears hard enough to make him yowl.

“Okay, okay,” he yelped. “I was only kidding!”

“Wait a minute!” Jade interrupted. “Back up! Why is it important to you to appoint Satay the leader of the Philharmonic?”

“Like you said, kid, he’s a famous musician.”

“There’s got to be more to it than that.”

“He wants to get away from the Indonesian government,” Sam said, “and their taxes.”

Jade considered that for a moment, then asked, “And what do you get out of it, Sam?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. There’s something in this for you, isn’t there?”

“Child, you cut me to the quick.”

“Knock it off, Sam,” Jill Meyers said. “What’s cooking in that twisted mind of yours?”

“Gosh, you people are so suspicious!”

Jade suddenly understood. “Satay has a considerable fortune, doesn’t he? Family money that he’ll bring to Selene with him.”

“I suppose,” Sam replied, trying to look innocent.

“And if you help him gain citizenship, he’ll be grateful to you, won’t he?”

Sam nodded, then admitted, “He’ll also be grateful to Jill.”

“To me?”

“For marrying me. Then I won’t be a danger to his daughter anymore.”

“Ah-ha,” Jill said.

“How will his daughter feel about that?” Jade asked.

Sam shrugged, not an easy thing to do with Jill still on his lap. “She’s young. She’ll find somebody. Besides, she doesn’t have control of the money.”

“And just what do you intend to do with Satay’s money?” Jade demanded.

“The matter duplicator,” said Jill. “I should have thought of it before this.”

“Matter transmitter,” Sam corrected. “I’ve sworn off duplicating things. Or people.”

“Two Sam Gunns are enough to make an honest man of you?”

Sam waggled his free hand. “More or less.”

“Matter transmitter,” Jade murmured.

“You bet. If the Indonesian government tries to keep Satay’s money in Indonesia,” Sam explained, “I’ll be able to zap most of it here to Selene.”

“Once you get a matter transmitter working,” said Jade.

“I f you get a matter transmitter working,” Jill corrected.

“It’ll work,” Sam assured them.

“But Professor Townes is out in the Kuiper Belt with the other Sam, isn’t he?” Jade said.

“So what? He proved that a matter transmitter can work. Now any bright team of kids can duplicate his results.”

“If they’re real,” Jill muttered.

Sam gave her a hurt look. “They’re real, Oh love of my life. We’ll produce a matter transmitter and turn Selene into the greatest tax haven in the solar system.”

“Is that all you can imagine doing with a matter transmitter?” Jade asked.

His expression turned crafty. “Well, I’ve gotta admit that another thing or two has crossed my mind.”

Jill giggled. “I’ll bet.”

“It ought to make transportation through the solar system a lot easier,” Sam mused.