Fredric Brown - The Second Fredric Brown Megapack

“Please.”

“The Satan group. The fact that the command was an evil one. Against the argument that God is sufficiently more powerful than Satan to have prevented the manifestation, the Satan group countered quite legitimately that God—in his infinite wisdom—may have permitted it, knowing the effect is likely to be the reverse of what Satan intended.”

“I see, Dr. Burke.”

“And the opposing group. The fact that, because of the perversity of human nature, the ultimate effect of the command is going to be good rather than stupid. Against the Satan group’s argument that God could not issue an evil command, even for a laudable purpose, the counter-argument is that man cannot understand God sufficiently to place any limitation whatever upon what He can or cannot, would or would not, do.”

The President nodded. “And does either group advocate obeying the command?”

“Definitely not. To those who believe the command came from Satan, disobedience is automatic. Those who believe the command came from God aver that those who believe in Him are sufficiently intelligent and good to recognize the command as divine irony.”

“And the Satan group, Doctor—do they believe the devil is not smart enough to know that his command may backfire?”

“Evil is always stupid, Mr. President.”

“And your personal opinion, Dr. Burke? You have not said to which faction you belong.”

The minister smiled. “I am one of the very small faction which does not accept that the phenomenon was of supernatural origin at all, either from God or the devil.”

“Then whom do you believe X to be, Doctor?”

“My personal guess is that X is extra-terrestrial. Perhaps as near as Mars, perhaps as far as another Galaxy.”

The President sighed and said, “No, Walter, I simply cannot take time out for lunch. If you’ll bring me a sandwich here, I’ll have to apologize to my next visitor or two for eating while I talk. And coffee, lots of coffee.”

“Certainly, sir.”

“Just a minute, Walter. The telegrams that have been coming in since eight-thirty last night—how many are there now?”

“Well over forty thousand, sir. We’ve been working at classifying them, but we’re several thousand behind.”

“And?”

The presidential secretary said, “From every class—ministers, truck drivers, crackpots, business leaders, everybody. Offering every theory possible—but pretty much only one conclusion. No matter who they think instigated that broadcast or why, they want to disobey its command. Yesterday, I would say that nine-tenths of our population was resigned to war; well over half thought we ought to start it first. Today—well, there’s always a lunatic fringe; about one telegram out of four hundred thinks we should go to war. The others—well, I think that today a declaration of war would cause a revolution, Mr. President.”

“Thank you, Walter.”

The secretary turned at the doorway. “A report from the army recruiting corps—enlistments thus far today have been fifteen—throughout the entire country. An average day for the past month, up to noon, was about eight thousand. I’ll send in your sandwich, sir.”

“Professor Winslow, I hope you will pardon my eating this sandwich while we talk. You are, I am told, professor of semantics at New York University, and the top man in your field?”

Professor Winslow smiled deprecatingly. “You would hardly expect me to agree to that, Mr. President. I presume you wish to ask questions about last night’s—uh—broadcast?”

“Exactly. What are your conclusions?”

“The word ‘fight’ is hardly analyzable. Whether it was meant in fact or in reverse is a matter for the psychologists—and even they are having grave difficulty with it, until and unless they learn who gave that command.”

The President nodded.

“But, Mr. President, the rest of the broadcast, the phrase in another voice that preceded the command. ‘And now a word from our sponsor’—that is something which should give us something to work on, especially as we have studied it carefully in many languages, and worked out fully the connotation of every word.”

“Your conclusion?”

“Only this; that it was carefully worded, designed, to conceal the identity of the broadcaster or broadcasters. Quite successfully. We can draw no worthwhile conclusions.”

“Dr. Abrams, has any correlating phenomenon been noticed at your or any other observatory?”

“Nothing, Mr. President.” The little man with the gray goatee smiled quietly. “The stars are all in their courses. Nothing observable is amiss with the universe. I fear I can give you no help—except my personal opinion.”

“Which is?”

“That—regardless of the meaning, pro or con, of the command to fight—the opening phrase meant exactly what it said. That we are sponsored.”

“By whom? God?”

“I am an agnostic, Mr. President. But I do not rule out the possibility that man isn’t the highest natural being in the universe. It’s quite large, you know. Perhaps we’re an experiment conducted by someone—in another dimension, anywhere. Perhaps, generally speaking, we’re allowed to go our way for the sake of the experiment. But we almost went too far, this time, toward destroying ourselves and ending the experiment. And he didn’t want it ended. So—” He smiled gently. “—a word from our sponsor.”

The President leaned forward across the desk, almost spilling his coffee. “But, if that is true, was the word meant?”

“I think that whether it was meant—in the sense in which you mean the word ‘meant’—is irrelevant. If we have a sponsor, he must know what its effect will be, and that effect—whether it be war or peace—is what he wanted to achieve.”

The President wiped his forehead with his handkerchief.

“How do you differentiate this—sponsor from the being most people call God?”

The little man hesitated. “I’m not sure I do. I told you I was an agnostic, not an atheist. However, I do not believe He sits on a cloud and has a long white beard.”

“Mr. Baylor, I particularly wish to thank you for coming here. I am fully aware that you, as head of the Communist Party in the United States, are against everything I stand for. Yet I wish to ask you what the opinion of the Communists here is of the broadcast of yesterday evening.”

“There is no matter of opinion. We know what it is.”

“Of your own knowledge, Mr. Baylor, or because Moscow has spoken?”

“That is irrelevant. We are perfectly aware that the Capitalistic countries instigated that broadcast. And solely for the purpose of inciting us to start the war.”

“And for what reason would we do that?”

“Because you have something new. Something in electronics that enabled you to accomplish what you accomplished last night and that is undoubtedly a decisive weapon. However, because of the opinion of the rest of the world, you do not dare to use it if you yourselves—as your warmongers have been demanding, as indeed you have been planning to do—start the war. You want us to start it and then, with world opinion on your side, you would be able to use your new weapon. However, we refuse to be propagandized.”

“Thank you, Mr. Baylor. And may I ask you one question strictly off the record? Will you answer in the first person singular, not plural, your own personal, private opinion?”

“You may.”

“Do you, personally, really believe we instigated that broadcast?”

“I—I do not know.”

“The afternoon mail, Walter?”

“Well over a hundred thousand letters, Mr. President. We have been able to do only random sampling. They seem to be about the same as the telegrams. General Wickersham is anxious to see you, sir. He thinks you should issue a proclamation to the army. Army morale is in a terrible state, he says, and he thinks a word from you—”