Josh Roseman - The Clockwork Russian and Other Stories

I set the story in a sort of 1950s-1980s generic timeframe — no cell phones, no computers, kids playing outside without supervision and dealing with their own problems instead of running to their parents. I’m not saying that time was better or worse than what we have now, but it allowed me to focus only on the kids and not on the technology. It’s possible that Sam, Rex, Lee, and the others live in a world where magic is real and magic books can be checked out of the library, or it could be that everyone thinks it’s a hoax except for these kids, who actually made it work. Questions that can only be answered by the interpretation of the reader, I suppose.

And yes, Rex shouting “squirrel!” is because of Up.

My day begins at 5:30 when the alarm goes off and I hear the sound of the news station’s announcer. I sit up and turn it off because I do not care for the news. It is a way to get me to wake up. Once when I was sick I could not get out of bed and I listened to stories of men killing men and women being hurt and the government not having the best interests of the people in mind. That was when I decided to make a change.

It was time to stand up.

It is Tuesday morning and I am standing in front of my bathroom mirror brushing my teeth for exactly two minutes as the dentist has instructed. I do this every morning. I have already used the toilet — I will not say the details because my occupational therapist says people do not want to hear them — and I am about to take a shower. For my birthday my mother bought me a digital water temperature gauge for the shower so I can be sure the water is exactly right. I said “thank you” to her.

The water is exactly right.

I make sure to wash all of my parts and use both shampoo and conditioner on my hair. I dry off on my red towel and shave the places that need shaving. Then I go back into my bedroom.

My clothes are arranged exactly correct: shirts on the lower closet rack, pants on the upper closet rack, underwear and socks in the top two drawers of the dresser. My shoes are by the door. I do not like when my floor is dirty so I do not wear my shoes in the house.

This is the second time in the day when I stand up.

Under my clothes but outside of my underwear is where my secret costume goes. It is red and white and blue, like the American and French and British and Australian flags, but I do not fight for my country like Captain America. I once saw Captain America on television. My mother told me it was a movie but I already knew that. Captain America is not real.

My secret costume fits very close to my body. I learned how to sew it myself from the internet because I do not like when strange people touch me. One time when I was thirteen I had to get measured for special clothes and when the woman touched me I kicked her. She was angry even after my mother explained. We went to a different store and my mother measured me for the new salesperson.

I measured myself for the costume and it fits very well. It is smooth and tight around my legs and hips and waist but it does not hurt me or dig into my skin. The first shirt part is tight and long-sleeved and the same blue as the pants. When it is on and I pull the second shirt part up from around my waist the costume is almost complete. The second shirt part is short-sleeved and white. Then there is a third piece and this was the hardest part to sew. I put my arms in it like a jacket but it only covers my shoulders. On the back is my mask and head covering. This piece is red except for the mask — the mask is white and looks like a stripe that goes all the way around.

On the front of the secret costume is the letter S. I put it there because that is what my name starts with but one thing I learned watching movies is that I need a secret identity or else people will find out about my mother and my grandparents and then they could get hurt. This is what happened in the movie Spider-Man starring Tobey Maguire. I do not have a name like Spider-Man or Captain America. I wear the S because I stand up when someone must. That is the reason.

I put on my clothes for work and go downstairs. My mother is working early today and so my grandfather is here. He smells familiar. I have always liked the smell of him. He is making eggs and eggs are my fourth-most-favorite breakfast food. My grandfather puts the eggs in front of me and I say thank-you because my occupational therapist told me that I should say thank-you when someone gives me a thing. The eggs are good. My grandfather puts spices on them.

My grandfather tells me to have a nice day at work. I think my grandfather would be proud if he knew that I stand up. But I cannot tell him because it could be dangerous. Also sometimes when I do things that my mother or the occupational therapist think are wrong — even if I do not agree — I am not allowed to leave the house except to go to school. I do not like when that happens so I will not tell.

Even though I am very intelligent and could easily operate the cash registers the only job the store will give me is helping customers put their groceries in bags and then wheeling their carts outside. The customers say thank-you and some of them try to give me money but the store gives me money and I have been told not to accept any more money for doing my job because I get paid already. It is important to follow the rules at work so that I can keep my job. The money I earn is mine to spend. I used it to buy my secret costume.

I stand at work the entire time — four hours — except for my fifteen-minute break which I spend in the break room eating an apple and doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Sometimes other people have tried to do it and when that happens I do the jumbles instead. The jumbles are very easy.

After work I walk home unless the weather is bad. I always check the forecast and if it is going to rain then my mother or one of my grandparents will pick me up. However walking home is a good thing — I get exercise and fresh air. Also one time I saw something where I should have said “it is time to stand up” but that was before I was wearing my secret costume and instead I called 9-1-1 on my cell phone.

When I get home no one else is there so I go to the basement to practice. When I take off my work clothes the secret costume is smooth and stretchy against my skin. There are often martial arts movies on late at night and I have watched them after everyone else has gone to sleep. I remember what I saw and I practice it. I am not as strong or as fast as Jean-Claude Van Damme or Steven Seagal or Bruce Lee but I can copy their movements.

I practice for thirty minutes before going upstairs to use the toilet and put my work shirt in the clothes hamper. It is Tuesday which means that my work pants do not need to be cleaned. I fold them and put them on the shelf in the closet — there is a place for pants which are not clean but are not yet dirty.

It is now lunchtime. I put on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt so that no one can see my secret costume and I go to the kitchen. My grandfather has made me a sandwich and some carrots and some grapes which he has left on a plate in the refrigerator. I eat the food and drink a glass of orange juice.

Once the food is finished I clean my dish and go into the living room to read a book. After an hour my grandmother comes home. On Tuesdays she volunteers at the elementary school until 2:00 p.m.

“Did you have a good day at work, dear?”

“Yes, I did.” My occupational therapist says I should put my book down when I am talking to people but I am in the middle of reading and my grandmother knows that. She does not sound like she is upset with me. “Did you have a good day at the school?”