Nursie shut Ben up quick: “Shush now, don’t frighten the child with your old-time story.”
“All right. Time for me to get dressed, anyway. Fête tonight! Me and Rozena going to dance till ’fore-day morning, oui.” Ben knelt down and smiled into Tan-Tan’s eyes. “When you wear that hat, you carry yourself straight and tall, you hear? You go be Parang Queen–self tonight!”
“Yes, Ben. Thank you!”
When everything was ready, Nursie fetched Tan-Tan to Ione. Nursie carried the Jonkanoo hat in front of her like a wedding cake, candles and all.
Ione was too, too beautiful that night in her madras head wrap and long, pale yellow gown, tight so till Tan-Tan was afraid that Ione wouldn’t be able to catch breath enough to sing the high notes in “Rio Manzanares.” She looked so pretty, though, that Tan-Tan ran to hug her.
“No, Tan-Tan; don’t rampfle up me gown. Behave yourself, nuh? Come let we go. I could hear the parang singers practising in the dining room. Is for you that hat is?”
“From Ben, Mummy.”
Ione nodded approvingly. “A proper Jonkanoo gift. I go give you one from me tomorrow.” She put the nation ship hat on Tan-Tan’s head, and then lit all six candles.
“Candles for remembrance, Tan-Tan. Hold your head high now, you hear? You have to keep the candles-them straight and tall and burning bright.”
“Yes, Mummy.” Tan-Tan remembered Nursie’s posture lessons. Proper-proper, she took Ione’s hand, smoothed her frock down, and walked down the stairs with her mother to join the Cockpit County Jubilante Mummers. The John Canoe dancer in his suit of motley rags was leaping about the living room while the singers clapped out a rhythm.
Tan-Tan was Cockpit County queen that night for true! The Mummers went house to house, singing the old-time parang songs, and in every place, people were only feeding Tan-Tan tamarind balls and black cake and thing—“Candles for remembrance, doux-doux!”—till the ribbon sash round her waist was binding her stuffed belly. Everywhere she went, she could hear people whispering behind their hands: “Mayor little girl… sweet in that pretty frock… really have Ione eyes, don’t? Mayor heart must be hard… girl child alone so with no father!” But she didn’t pay them any mind. Tan-Tan was enjoying herself. All the same, she couldn’t wait to get to the town square to sing the final song of the night. Antonio would be there to greet the Mummers and make his annual Jonkanoo Night speech. For days he had been busy with the celebrations and he hadn’t called to speak to Tan-Tan.
At last the Mummers reached the town square. By now, Tan-Tan’s feet were throbbing. Her white aoutchicongs had turned brown with dust from walking all that distance, and her belly was beginning to pain her from too much food. Ione had blown out the candles on the nation ship hat long time, for with all the running round Tan-Tan was doing, the hat kept falling from her head. She had nearly set fire to Tantie Gilda’s velvet curtains.
Tan-Tan was ready to drop down with tiredness, oui, but as they entered the town square, she straightened up her little body and took her mummy’s hand.
“Light the candles again for me, Mummy.” Hand in hand with Ione, Tan-Tan marched right to her place in the front of the choir. She made believe she was the Tan-Tan from the Carnival, or maybe the Robber Queen, entering the town square in high state for all the people to bring her accolades and praise and their widows’ mites of gold and silver for saving them from the evil plantation boss (she wasn’t too sure what an “accolade” was, oui, but she had heard Ben say it when he played the Robber King masque at Carnival time the year before). Choirmaster Gomez smiled when he saw her in her pretty Jonkanoo hat. He pressed the microphone bead onto her collar. Tan-Tan lost all her tiredness one time.
The square was full up of people that night. One set of people standing round, waiting for the midnight anthem. It must be had two hundred souls there! Tan-Tan started to feel a little jittery. Suppose she got the starting note wrong? She took a trembling breath. She felt she was going to dead from nerves. Behind her, she heard Ione hissing, “Do good now, Tan-Tan. Don’t embarrass me tonight!”
Choirmaster Gomez gave the signal. The quattro players started to strum the tune, and the Cockpit County Jubilante Mummers launched into the final song of the night. Tan-Tan was so nervous, she nearly missed her solo. Ione tapped her on her shoulder, and she caught herself just in time. She took a quick breath and started to sing.
The first few notes were a little off, oui, but when she got to the second verse, she opened her eyes. Everybody in the square was swaying from side to side. She started to get some confidence. By the third verse, her voice was climbing high and strong to the sky, joyful in the ’fore-day morning.
Sweet chariot,
Swing down,
Time to ride,
Swing down.
As she sang, Tan-Tan glanced round. She saw old people rocking back and forth to the song, their lips forming the ancient words. She saw artisans standing round the Mercy Table, claiming the food and gifts that Cockpit Town people had made for them with their own hands in gratitude for their creations. Every man-jack had their eyes on her. People nodded their heads in time. She swung through the words, voice piping high. The Mummers clapped in time behind her. Then she spied a man standing near the edge of the crowd, cradling a sleeping little girl in his arms. He was the baby’s daddy. Tan-Tan’s soul came crashing back to earth. Tears began creeping down her face. She fought her way to the end of the song. When she put up her hand to wipe the tears away, an old lady near the front said, “Look how the sweet song make the child cry. What a thing!” Tan-Tan pulled the mike bead off and ran to Ione. The nation ship hat fell to the ground. Tan-Tan heard someone exclaim behind her, and the scuffing sound as he stamped out the flame of the candles. She didn’t pay it no mind. She buried her head in her mother’s skirt and cried for Antonio. Ione sighed and patted her head.
Soon after, her daddy did come, striding into the town square to give his speech. But he didn’t even self glance at Tan-Tan or Ione. Ione clutched Tan-Tan’s shoulder and hissed at her to stand still. Tan-Tan looked at her mother’s face; she was staring longingly and angrily at Antonio with bright, brimming eyes. Ione started to hustle Tan-Tan away. Tan-Tan pulled on her hand to slow her down. “No, Mummy, no; ain’t Daddy going to come with we?”
Ione stooped down in front of her daughter. “I know how you feel, doux-doux. Is Jonkanoo and we shoulda be together, all three of we; but Antonio ain’t have no mercy in he heart for we.”
“Why?”
“Tan-Tan, you daddy vex with me; he vex bad. He forget all the nights I spend alone, all the other women I catch he with.”
Tan-Tan ain’t business with that. “I want my daddy.” She started to cry.
Ione sighed. “You have to be strong for me, Tan-Tan. You is the only family I have now. I not going to act shame in front of Cockpit County people and they badtalk. Swallow those tears now and hold your head up high.”
Tan-Tan felt like her heart could crack apart with sorrow. Ione had to carry the burst nation ship. Scuffling her foot-them in the dirt, Tan-Tan dragged herself to the limousine that had been sent to the square to wait for them. They reached home at dayclean, just as the sun was rising. Tan-Tan was a sight when Nursie met her at the door: dirty tennis shoes, plaits coming loose, snail tracks of tears winding down her face.
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