Jeffrey Carver - Eternity's End

Legroeder looked up at Morgan. “You’ve read this?” She nodded, her eyes troubled. Legroeder looked at the note again, then closed his eyes. Surgical alterations and augmentations … Visions of Robert McGinnis and Jakus Bark danced before him. Had he avoided cyber-implants all these years, only to be trapped into accepting them now?

Morgan perched on the edge of his bed. “Is it the augmentation part that worries you?”

“Good guess.”

She seemed to suppress a shudder. “I wish we could just send you the hell away from all of this. Someplace where no one’s ever heard of you.” Her eyes seemed to say she didn’t really want him to do that. Was she feeling attached to him? Personally?

“Yeah, well…” Legroeder managed a laugh. “I guess my mistake was picking Faber Eridani as a port of refuge in the first place.”

Morgan caught his hand and gave it a squeeze. He was startled; he liked the feeling.

“Of course,” he said awkwardly, “I wouldn’t have met you and your mother then. But…”

“Legroeder?”

“Yeah?”

She tightened her grip on his hand. “I…” Her eyes seemed to be welling up. “ Oh hell.”

Legroeder cleared his throat, trying not to seem obtuse. He hadn’t had much practice reading women in recent years. Or even paying attention to his own feelings. Here he was, alone in a bedroom with Morgan, whom he found quite attractive in an understated way. He liked Morgan; he liked her warmth, and the intelligence that shone through her eyes. As he thought about it, he realized it wouldn’t take a lot for her to seduce him right here and now—in spite of everything that loomed over him. Was that what she wanted? Was it what he wanted? He wasn’t likely to have too many more chances—with Morgan, or anyone else. He returned the pressure on her hand.

“Since you’re not jumping in to fill the awkward silence,” Morgan said with a nervous laugh, “I guess I should.”

He drew a silent breath.

Her voice fell to a near whisper. “I like you, I want to help you, I want you to come through this.” She pushed her hair back with her free hand. “And I feel like a complete fool right now.”

Legroeder squeezed her hand harder. Yes? So do I …

“But if… there’s anything I can do…” Morgan met his gaze. “If you’d like me here with you tonight…”

Legroeder smiled, or tried to, past the lump in his throat. He tried to speak, but could only think, Want you… do I… so rushed? I don’t know; give me more time. I need more time! Will I ever have another chance?

Morgan continued, looking away, “I don’t even know if you and… Maris… or if the two of you…” She frowned. “I’m sorry—here I am, and we don’t even know if she’s still alive, or what’s happened to her.”

“That’s all right,” Legroeder said softly. “You can’t help about Maris—not right now. Anyway, she was a friend— is a friend. But we weren’t—lovers.” He tried to stop thinking about Maris. What she might be going through right now.

Morgan’s grip tightened again.

“But I—” Legroeder’s voice caught, and he suddenly found himself breathing harder. Did she want him to kiss her? He envisioned her in his arms, and a confused part of him suddenly yearned for that. Without quite consciously deciding, he leaned to kiss her. Her breath went out with a strained sigh, and her lips met his, tentatively, and then softened against him. She leaned into him, slipping her arm around his waist. For a moment, he focused only on the pressure of her lips, and her breath, and the warmth of her body pressing against him. He felt a powerful stirring of arousal; but it was confused, uncertain. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He kissed her more urgently, felt her tongue flicking at his. Her hand started to move over him; he drew a sharp breath and touched her breast, reveling. And then hesitated. It didn’t feel right; he didn’t know why.

Both their eyes blinked open, and their gazes met. Morgan pulled back from him, head cocked. Her face reddened with embarrassment as she seemed to read his thoughts. “You don’t… really want that, do you?”

“No, I don’t mean—it’s just that—Morgan, I don’t—you’re very beautiful—”

“Shh. Stop.” She put a finger to his lips. “I’m sorry . I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be helping you, not messing you up when you’ve got so much on your mind.” She stood up, readjusting her blouse.

He followed, his emotions churning. “Morgan, don’t—”

“No, look—”

“Don’t you apologize. I’m the one who—”

“I wasn’t exactly—

“Yes, you were.” Legroeder suddenly burst into laughter, and then she did, too. He hugged her tightly. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

She nodded and pulled away toward the door. “Call me if you need… to talk… or whatever.”

“I will. Good night.”

The door clicked shut, and he stared at it in dumb bewilderment, before mentally kicking himself. Idiot …

They found the Narseil historian swimming back and forth in his pool, his neck-sail cutting through the surface of the water like a shark’s fin. He lifted his head, spotting them, but did not stop until he had finished swimming his laps. When he stepped out of the pool and into the soft whoosh of the dryer, he was breathing hard, with a whuffing sort of sound.

“My apologies,” he said, joining them in the dry section of the cavern. “I am old. If I do not keep up my daily exercise, my mind and body will both fall into decay. Have you decided?”

“I have,” Legroeder said. “When do we leave?”

El’ken bowed in acknowledgment. “I am pleased, and grateful. You will be an invaluable addition to the party. If you will excuse me for just one moment, I will begin making the arrangements.” He turned toward his communications console, then paused. “Regarding Mrs. and Ms. Mahoney…”

“What about them?” Legroeder asked, before either of the women could speak.

“Well, since you will not be accompanying Rigger Legroeder, and you have problems in terms of getting back home…”

“I was hoping you could help them with that.”

El’ken visibly suppressed his annoyance at the interruption. “I can offer hospitality here, as long as necessary. Perhaps once the mission has been completed, and security for it is no longer an issue, we will be able to assist you—”

“No,” said Legroeder.

“I beg your pardon?”

“If you keep them prisoner here, the deal’s off.”

El’ken spread his long-fingered hands. “I assure you, they would not be prisoners . They will be very comfortable.”

“They have important work to do, back on Faber Eri. If you don’t let them go, they’re prisoners.”

“Legroeder, wait,” said Harriet.

“No—it’s that or nothing.” Legroeder rubbed his jaw. He hadn’t realized until just now that this was part of his decision. “Look, Academic—if I’m going to entrust my life to your people, then you have to trust my people. Quid pro quo. Isn’t that what they call it, Harriet?”

Harriet opened her mouth, then closed it.

“Yeah, that’s what they call it. Look,” he said. “Maybe you see this in just one dimension, which is your secret mission. Well, my friends won’t peep a word about it. You can trust them. And I’m not only concerned about their freedom. They have work to do while I’m gone, and I’m hoping you can help them. I expect to return to find that I’ve been cleared of all charges back on Faber Eridani.”

Everyone else seemed at a loss for words, so Legroeder kept talking. “I notice your eyes narrowed just a bit at the word return .”