Jeffrey Carver - Eternity's End

In the Impris net, Freem’n Deutsch would be the commanding rigger. There had been some argument about that; the Impris riggers had not been eager to relinquish control. But Captain Friedman had agreed that it was the best way to fly the ships in formation—with Deutsch’s and Legroeder’s augments linked by flux-com.

Is everyone ready? Legroeder asked across the joined nets, as the connecting tube was drawn back to the Kyber ship. Deutsch murmured acknowledgment, as did the Narseil. Jamal and Poppy muttered ambiguously to themselves, probably trying not to show their fear.

We are disconnecting from hard-dock now, came the voice of Glenswarg. Riggers, you may begin your flight . As he spoke, the tethers were released and the ships were gently pushed apart by the forcefield bumpers. The two nets separated, and the connection between Legroeder’s augments and Freem’n Deutsch’s switched to a flux-com link.

Prepare to descend, Legroeder called. All riggers, begin to still your thoughts. Let’s start with a standard meditation . He drew a breath and let it out slowly, and allowed his vision to go to soft focus. Drawing on exercises from his earliest rigger training, he began to allow conscious thought to drain from his mind. Around him, the others were doing the same.

Through the connection Legroeder became aware of the Impris riggers jittering around. Relax, everyone, he called softly.

They began to form images, underwater at first. Legroeder exhaled, watching his breath bubble away. Reduce buoyancy… sink… This okay with everyone? As soon as the words were out, he realized that the Impris riggers were struggling.

I can’t swim! Jamal cried.

Startled, Legroeder let the image dissolve. Is this better? He spun forth an old standby for meditations: a hillside sprinkled with wildflowers. He reclined in the grass and gazed up into a deep cerulean sky. Fill it in however seems best to you .

That seemed to work better for Jamal and Poppy. Sighing, Legroeder closed his eyes halfway. He too was having trouble calming down.

// Would you like assistance? An alpha-field? //

(No, let me take it the same way as Jamal and Poppy. I need to know how they’re feeling.)

// Understood. //

He tried to let his thoughts go. Banks of pastel mist floated overhead, became clouds drifting in a cyan summer sky. What color sky do you see, everyone?

Ah, deep purple, said Palagren.

Blue, shading off to green . Deutsch.

Blue. Pale blue . That was Poppy.

I feel, said Ker’sell, as if I am back home, waiting for the rain to fall and bring the brinies up to the surface .

You are indeed relaxed, Palagren murmured, if you can think of eating at a time like this.

Legroeder let a small chuckle escape. He was beginning, just beginning, to let go of his anxieties. He glanced over at Impris , a ghostly silver presence on the hillside…

The other ship winked out.

// Loss of signal. //

He cursed. (Time fluctuation?)

// Most likely. //

Palagren seemed not to have noticed. Legroeder called to him and the Narseil looked around in puzzlement. What do you mean? Impris is right there. They’re starting to look a little transparent, though .

Legroeder stared, where the ghostly shape of the other ship had just been. All right, he said softly. If you see it, I’m going to count on you to keep track. As far as I can tell, it’s gone . He drew a breath and let it out slowly, thinking: It’ll come back again. Just believe that.

He had lost all semblance now of a meditative state. (Maybe you’d better give me that shot of alpha-wave, after all,) he muttered to the implants. An instant later, he felt himself calming down. He relaxed his grip on the stern tiller, allowing the ship to drift wherever the Flux wanted to take them.

There was only the slightest movement of cloud in the sky. He focused on his breath. Just be. Feel. He began to enter a deeper state of relaxation, and to let go of some of his deeper anxieties.

After what seemed a very long while, he realized that the ship was sinking .

It felt like a softening in the hillside, as if he were sinking into the earth, easing his way down into some subterranean kingdom where hidden thoughts and possibilities lurked, and invisible currents ran. He noted that his rigger-mates were in similar attitudes of meditation. As one, they appeared to be sinking into the image of the hillside; and now, beside them again was the ghostly presence of Impris . Overhead, the clouds were starting to move, to drift upward and across.

Movement.

Legroeder drew a slow breath. It’s working. Don’t stop now; just keep doing what you’re doing. The clouds were scudding overhead now. They were leaving the area of doldrums. But going where? Did they know what they were doing? Could they control their fears?

Just the thought was enough to distract him. The calm was starting to slip away again; feelings and memories were bubbling up unbidden…

A memory of his old riggermate, Janofer—more beautiful than ever. Not now, of all times! Despite himself, he was becoming aroused at the memory, the memory of desire. He’d always been half in love with her…

Legroeder, the ghostly Janofer whispered, brushing back her long hair, brushing her lips on his neck. No, he thought, this isn’t right…

It’s very right, she whispered back to him, turning into Morgan Mahoney.

The sudden change left him breathless. Morgan… Morgan, how are… where are… have you found Maris yet?

Morgan turned to Maris, with a little smile that seemed to say, We hardly even knew each other. But if we’d had the time…

As Legroeder struggled to follow, he seemed to hear his mother’s voice echoing the familiar refrain: If you would take the opportunities life puts in front of you … from a woman who had taken perhaps one too many opportunities in the form of Legroeder’s father, who hadn’t stayed around to meet his son. Legroeder felt his old protest rising in his throat. But his mother was long gone; there was no one here to talk to now.

// Warning: this train of thought… //

Was not good. Letting his thoughts get away from him…

But Tracy-Ace/Alfa was here now, as he had somehow known she would be, as if her spirit had always been present, moving through the terrain of his subconscious. She was beckoning to him… her head cocked to one side, augments twinkling, watching him from a position in space, just out of reach. Hurry and come back, she said softly. We have a lot to talk about .

Yes. Yes! But first they had to get back…

In the net of Impris , Deutsch had been laboring to match his efforts with those of his crewmates over on Phoenix . He was leading Poppy and Jamal in a maneuver that ran counter to everything they had been trained to do. He wanted them to suppress their inputs; let themselves flow; allow the ship to drift like a cork into a whirlpool. He wanted them to float helpless toward a terror hidden deep in the Flux. So far, he’d been keeping their input to a minimum—for all practical purposes flying the ship himself.

For Deutsch, it was old hat to drift in the Flux; he’d done it as a Kyber raider countless times, like a predatory sea creature camouflaged as seaweed. But to Poppy and Jamal, it was unthinkable. They didn’t trust him or this plan of falling toward their worst nightmare. They hadn’t yet refused an instruction, but they were like two kettles about to blow their lids.