Джей Эшер - The Future of Us

I glance around at the houses, all gigantic and quiet. Even though no one is around, I feel the need to whisper.

“Are you sure they’re not going to come home?” I ask.

Cody shakes his head. “I come here a lot.”

He punches in a security code and then fits the key into the lock. As he pushes open the door, he turns and smiles at me. My stomach flips over.

I ARRANGE MY CHARCOAL sketches in a semicircle around me, then stand up and take a step back. Some have angular lines, some are mostly wavy, and some are very sparse. Each has a unique feel, yet they all belong together.

Through my bedroom window, I hear Emma’s car pull into her driveway. I run downstairs and out the front door.

The driver’s side door opens and Kellan steps out. “Were you expecting someone else?” she asks.

“Where’s Emma? Is she still at track?”

Kellan’s expression is a mix of concern and pity. “Probably not. I’m dropping off her car, but I’m not waiting around for her to get back.”

“Did you two have a fight?” I ask.

Kellan walks toward Emma’s garage, but then swivels to face me. “Did you just ask if Emma and I had a fight? You guys are the ones who don’t seem to be talking.”

“We talked at lunch,” I say.

“Barely!” Kellan continues to the side of the garage and jiggles the doorknob, but it’s locked. “Josh, do you have any idea whose car she’s in right now?”

I knock my shoe against a fake rock and pick up the Scooby-Doo keychain. My hands fumble as I try to fit the key in the lock. Kellan snatches it from my hand and lets herself in.

“She’s with Cody,” Kellan says. “That guy’s an egotistical asshole, and I hold you responsible for this.”

“ Me ?” As far as I know, Emma and Cody had one conversation in the hallway. He wasn’t even her friend on Facebook.

Kellan removes a helmet from the handlebars of Emma’s bike. “There’s some weird competition going on between the two of you, and I don’t like it,” she says. She flips up the kickstand and rolls the bike toward the door.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you really think Emma would be driving around with Cody Grainger if you were coming to the bonfire with the rest of us? But no, you’re going with Sydney Mills.”

I don’t want to picture Emma in Cody’s car.

As I follow Kellan to the sidewalk, I look down the street. I don’t know what Cody drives, but as a beat-up minivan rounds the corner, I secretly hope that’s him.

When I turn back, Kellan’s eyes have softened. “I get that Sydney is gorgeous,” she says. “But I watched you at lunch today. When you told us she was taking you to the bonfire, you didn’t look like most guys would have.”

“How was I supposed to look?”

Kellan lets out a shallow sigh and adjusts the strap beneath her neck. “Happy.”

I don’t know how to respond.

“Are you only going to the bonfire with Sydney because it feels like you should? Because she’s Sydney Mills ?” Kellan asks. “And if you say yes, I will be so disappointed in you.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“No girl, no matter how perfect she is, deserves to get hurt like that,” Kellan says. “So if you’re not into Sydney, you need to tell her tonight.”

Kellan swings her leg over the bike and pushes forward.

I walk slowly back to my house. When I reach the front door, I hear the soft squeal of brakes. Kellan doesn’t know I’m watching, but I see her stop next to Emma’s car and reach for a windshield wiper. She leaves a folded-up piece of paper against the glass, and then circles back around and rides off.

I GRAB THE CORDLESS PHONE from my parents’ room and head outside. When I reach the short wall surrounding the swings, I dial David’s number. His machine picks up after two rings.

“This is David. I’m probably screening my calls right now, so leave your name after the beep, and we’ll see if I answer.”

“Hey, this is Josh,” I say, weaving slowly between the swings. “You’re probably in class, but if you get this—”

There’s a click on David’s end. “Are you still there?”

“I’m here.”

“I slept through my afternoon class,” he says. “But that’s not something you should tell Mom and Dad.”

Before I saw David’s future, I would’ve laughed at his comment. Now I wonder how much of his life isn’t for Mom and Dad—or me—to know about. Eventually, he must tell everyone he’s gay because he brings Phillip to my house at the lake. In fact, one day he’ll write on the Internet that he’s in a relationship with a man.

With my free hand, I hold onto the chains of one of the swings. “Do you have a second to talk?”

I hear David plopping into his beanbag. “Sure. What’s up?”

I can’t remember why I thought calling my brother would help. There’s nothing he can say if I don’t reveal everything about Sydney and me and our future together. Without telling him about Facebook, it’s going to sound pathetic. Who complains about going to a bonfire with Sydney Mills?

“Josh,” David says, “do you understand how phones work? When you call someone, you’re supposed to talk.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really confused about a girl right now.”

“Emma?” David asks.

“No,” I say. “Her name is Sydney Mills. She’s the one I was talking about the other night.”

“Wait, is she the little sister of the Mills twins?” he asks. “Dude, they were hot.”

I sit down on the swing and twist to the left. Why is he saying that? Did he think they were hot, or is he saying other guys thought they were hot? If he’s trying to fool me, I shouldn’t have called him in the first place. I need to talk honestly with him.

“If Sydney Mills is anything like her sisters…” David lets out a low whistle. “So I’m guessing you took my advice. You saw your moment and you didn’t let it pass.”

“She asked me to a bonfire tonight,” I say.

“Look at you go! So what’s the problem?”

“It’s hard to explain,” I say. “She’s gorgeous. And any guy in school would love to be with her… except me. And yet, I know I should.”

“Is she nice?” he asks.

“She’s a little self-absorbed. But yeah, she’s nice.”

David is quiet for a moment. “Are you worried she’s more experienced than you? Because if you want, I can explain—”

“No,” I say. “That’s not it.” I didn’t call him because I’m nervous about hooking up. I’m nervous about my entire life.

“I know what your problem is,” David says.

“I have a problem?”

“You’re a go-with-the-flow guy,” he says. “You’ve always been that way. And that can feel great because it means you don’t have to make any hard decisions. But sometimes you need to figure out what you want, Josh. If that means you need to swim against the tide to get it, at least you’re aiming for something that could make you very happy.”

I twist the swing in the other direction.

“Where do you want to go to college?” David asks. “I know you won’t have to deal with that until next year, but where are you considering now?”

I laugh into the phone. He thinks I’m going to say Hemlock State, where Mom and Dad work. But I’ve seen Facebook. I know where I’m going, and he’s wrong. “The University of Washington,” I say.

“So you’ll go where your brother went,” David says. “Those are some strong currents you’re swimming against.”

“But it’s a good school.”

“I know it is,” he says. “But you need to pick the school you want to go to.”