Jasper Fforde - Early Riser

Aurora thought for a moment.

‘I told Agent Hooke to do it. Did it not get there?’

‘It seems not.’

‘I’ll ask him about it. Shit,’ she said, poking my frame with an inquisitive finger, ‘there’s almost nothing left of you at all.’

I told her I’d be on all-day breakfasts for a week, but in the literal meaning of the phrase, and she said she’d do what she could to gain me extra rations. After that we got on with more pressing matters: the male nightwalker was now getting to his feet in an uncertain manner. Deadheads don’t stun as easily or for as long as those with full mental capacity. Less upstairs to scramble, Logan had said. But with the two of us it didn’t take much to bind his wrists, and once this was done, Aurora tied him to the bumper of a nearby VW Beetle, where he tugged constantly to try and get away, like a dog eager to worry a squirrel.

‘Have you met Eddie Tangiers?’ asked Aurora, in the same way you might introduce someone at a cocktail party.

‘Well, no,’ I said, faintly embarrassed, for Tangiers was not just well built, handsome and physically very Alpha, but was entirely naked – and displaying a tumescence of considerable size and rigidity.

‘Tangiers was a Tier One sire,’ she said, ‘and was in the Twelve plying his trade when he became stranded. When Eddie was alive, he had pretty much only one thing on his mind – now it’s all he’ll ever have on his mind. If you have some phials and liquid nitrogen on you, we could make a packet – this guy is sitting on a fortune.’

I must have looked shocked for she pulled a face.

‘It’s a joke , Worthing. You need them out here like you need food and warmth. His only use now will be for quoits practice or as a hatstand. Step to your left.’

While we had been talking, Glitzy Tiara had picked herself up and was shambling towards us, her pinched face streaked with dirt, her shoulder dislocated by the fall. Aurora stepped forward and popped her shoulder back in with a technique that was as expert as it was nonchalant, then tied her up a safe distance from Tangiers.

‘Job done,’ said Aurora with a grin. ‘Snickers?’

‘Thank you.’

Aurora produced several chocolate bars from an inside pocket, gave one to me and then fed two each to the nightwalkers, wrapper and all.

‘Glitzy Tiara wants to talk,’ I said, for the female nightwalker was mouthing words in between bites of chocolate.

‘You’re right,’ agreed Aurora. ‘Shall we find out what?’

She produced a water bottle from her bag and poured a little down the nightwalker’s throat. Glitzy Tiara coughed, then swallowed, and with her throat now wet I could tell she had a raspy Carmarthen accent. She must have been talking since the moment her higher brain functions evaporated, for her voice box was ragged and worn.

‘Tinned passata, grated mozzarella… bread flour,’ she said. ‘Peppers all colours, anchovies.’

‘Sounds like pizza night,’ said Aurora. ‘Want some more Snickers? It was a sponsorship deal. I’ve got hundreds of them in the truck.’

‘Go on, then.’

She handed me a pack of five.

‘I guess I owe you my thanks again,’ I said.

‘No,’ she said, ‘it’s partly my fault you’re still here. I should have done a follow-up.’

‘A Romanesco cauliflower,’ murmured Glitzy Tiara, ‘and some oolong tea.’

‘Doesn’t sound like she’ll be heading for the local JollyMart, does she?’ said Aurora. ‘Is that one anything to do with you?’

Aurora pointed to where we could see Birgitta’s feet emerging from under the Buick. They were moving in a helpless sort of manner.

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘she tried to bite me when I wasn’t looking.’

‘Does she do tricks?’

‘She eats dead people.’

‘Hardly a trick, is it?’ Aurora remarked, squatting down and looking under the car.

‘No,’ I conceded, ‘more like a survival instinct.’

‘Hang on,’ said Aurora, ‘I think this is Birgitta.’

‘Manderlay,’ I said without thinking. I hadn’t heard or read the name anywhere; I just knew it. It was also confusing but somehow not surprising that I knew she had served in the Ottoman, that her favourite colour was yellow ochre, she liked dogs, William Thackeray and walking in the Peak District, and her birthday was the first 9th after Springrise, same as me.

‘It’s a shame,’ said Aurora, staring at the shambling ruin that had once been Birgitta.

It was something considerably more than a shame.

‘Wait a minute,’ she said, ‘I’m sure Birgitta was Beta payscale. Someone must have sold her their Morphenox. Someone… who might not have needed it this Winter.’

She looked pointedly at me as she said it, and I hoped the heat in my cheeks didn’t show.

‘Don’t sweat it,’ she said, ‘I won’t tell a soul, although if you hadn’t sold it to her, she’d not be a deadhead.’

I really didn’t want or need this pointing out.

‘I didn’t sell her my Morphenox,’ I said, truthfully enough.

‘Oh? Well, it doesn’t matter one way or the other, really.’

She pulled out her Bambi and pointed it at Birgitta. Non-Tricksy nightwalkers were often summarily retired when found.

‘No!’ I said, a little too hastily. ‘I mean, I’ll take care of it. It’s something I should get used to.’

‘Fair enough,’ said Aurora, reholstering the Bambi.

‘Why are you here in the basement?’ I asked, eager to change the subject. ‘If you don’t mind me asking.’

She nodded towards the Vacants.

‘Gathering up some nightwalkers for HiberTech. Project Lazarus always needs Tricksy subjects, so I came to have a look. The breeder will probably get farmed, but Glitzy Tiara they’ll take. I’ll get them over there smartish, too, before Toccata intervenes. She has old-fashioned ideas about what we do in the facility, and just retires them all and then claims standard bounty by presenting the left thumb to Vermin Control.’

Aurora made to move off, but then stared at the large blue automobile for a moment.

‘Wait a moment. This is a blue Buick, isn’t it?’

I nodded.

‘The one that Watson and Moody were babbling about?’

‘And several others, too, yes.’

She paused, looked at the car, then at the remains of the nightwalkers, then at the rabbit’s-foot key ring I was still holding in my hand.

‘What’s your interest in this car, Worthing?’

I had to think. I knew almost no one in Sector Twelve. Birgitta regarded me as you might an ambulatory dinner, Jonesy and Fodder were loyal to Toccata and Lloyd was a porter, whose first priority was the continued smooth running of the Dormitorium. Laura had her head filled with myths and fables and Treacle was little more than a jailbird and a baby-peddler. I needed a friend. Aurora had saved my life – twice – and on that basis alone was about as good a friend as I was ever likely to get.

‘It’s complicated,’ I said with a sigh, realising that I’d have to tell Aurora things I could never tell anyone, ‘because although I’ve never set foot in this car park, I’ve seen the blue Buick and the rabbit’s-foot key ring before.’

She raised the eyebrow over her non-seeing eye.

‘In my… dreams .’

My shoulders slumped as a sweep of memories came back, but this time it was textures only – the leaves, the splays of lichen on the rocks, the granular appearance of the soil, the rust on the Buick bumpers, the crackled paint on the car body. I thought of Birgitta on the beach to clear it out, and with the gurgling laugh of the child with the beach ball, the flashback evaporated.

‘I so need a Dormeopath,’ I said in a useless sort of voice.