Clifford Simak - No Life of Their Own And Other Stories

“What seems to be the trouble, Mr. Foss?”

“They’re holding me.”

“Who’s holding you?”

“The government. They won’t let me go home and they watch me all the time.”

“Why do you think they’re watching you? What have you done?”

“I ain’t done nothing. I got this thing, you see.”

“What thing? What have you got?”

“I cure people.”

“You can’t mean you’re a doctor.”

“No doctor. I just cure people. I walk around and cure them. I got an aura.”

“You have what?”

“An aura.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s something in me. Something I put out. You got a cold or something?”

“No, I haven’t a cold.”

“If you had, I’d cure you.”

“I tell you what, Mr. Foss. Why don’t you go out into the outer office and have a seat. I’ll be back with you right away.”

As he went out the door, Ernie saw the man reaching for the phone. He didn’t wait. He went out the door and into the hall as fast as he could manage. Jack and Al were waiting for him there.

“That was a stupid thing you did,” Joe said to Ernie.

“He didn’t believe me,” Ernie said. “He was reaching for the phone. He would have called the cops.”

“Maybe he did. We thought he might. That’s why we got out of there.”

“He acted as if he thought maybe I was crazy.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I got my rights,” said Ernie. “Civil rights. Ain’t you ever heard of them?”

“Of course we have. You have your legal rights. It was all explained to you. You’re employed. You’re a civil servant. You agreed to certain conditions of employment. You’re being paid. It’s all legal.”

“But I don’t like it.”

“What don’t you like about it? Your pay is good. Your work is light. You just do some walking. There aren’t many people who are paid for walking.”

“If I am paid so good, why do we always stay in crummy hotels like this one?”

“You aren’t paying for your room and food,” said Joe. “You’re on an expense account. We take care of it for you. And we don’t stay in good hotels because we aren’t dressed for it. We’d look funny in a good hotel. We’d attract attention.”

“You guys dress like me,” said Ernie. “Why do you dress like me? You even talk like me.”

“It’s the way we work.”

“Yeah, I know. The crummy part of town. And that’s all right with me. I never was nowhere but the crummy part of town. But you guys, I can tell. You’re used to dressing in white shirts and ties and suits. Suits all cleaned and pressed. And when you aren’t with me, you talk different, too, I bet.”

“Jack,” said Joe, “why don’t you and Al go out with Ernie and have a bite to eat. Charley and me will go later on.”

“That’s another thing,” said Ernie. “You never go into any place or out of any place together. You make it look as if you aren’t all together. Would that be so we aren’t noticed, too?”

“Oh,” said Joe, disgusted, “what difference does it make?”

The three of them left.

“He’s getting hard to handle,” Charley said.

“Wouldn’t you know,” said Joe. “There is only one of him and he has to be a moron. Or damn close to one.”

“There is no sign of any other?”

Joe shook his head. “Not the last time I talked with Washington. Yesterday, that was. They’re doing all they can, of course, but how do you go about it? A statistical approach is the only way. Try to spot an area where there is no disease and once you find it, if you ever find it, try to spot the one who’s responsible for it.”

“Another one like Ernie.”

“Yes, another one like Ernie. You know what? I don’t think there is another one like him. He’s a freak.”

“There might be another freak.”

“The odds, I’d think, would be very much against it. And even if there were, what are the chances they’ll find him? It was just dumb, blind luck that Ernie was located.”

“We’re going at this wrong.”

“Of course we’re going at it wrong. The right way, the scientific way is to find out what makes him the way he is. They tried that, remember? For damn near a year they tried. All sorts of tests and him bitching every minute. Wanting to go back to Susie and Joseph, the Baboon.”

“They might have quit just at the time when they might have found …”

Joe shook his head. “I don’t think so, Charley. I talked with Rosenmeir. He said it was hopeless. A thing has to get real bad for a man like Rosy to admit that it is hopeless. It took a lot of soul searching to decide to do what we are doing. He couldn’t be kept in Washington for further study when there was so little chance of learning anything. They had him. The next logical step was to make some use of him.”

“But the country is so big. There are so many cities. So many ghettos. So many pestholes. So much misery. We walk him down a few miles of street each day. We parade him past hospitals and old folks’ homes and …”

“And don’t forget. For every step he takes there may be a dozen people who are made well, another dozen people who won’t contract the ailments they would have gotten if it hadn’t been for him.”

“I don’t see how he can help but realize that. We’ve told him often enough. He should be glad of it, of a chance to help.”

Joe said, “I told you. The man’s a moron. A little selfish moron.”

“You have to see it his way, too, I suppose,” said Charley. “We jerked him away from home.”

“He never had a home. Sleeping in alleys and flophouses. Panhandling. Doing a little stealing when he had the chance. Shacking up with his Susie when he had a chance. Getting a free meal now and then from some soup kitchen. Raiding garbage cans.”

“Maybe he liked it that way.”

“Maybe he did. No responsibility. Living day to day, like an animal. But now he has a responsibility—perhaps as great a responsibility, as great an opportunity as any man ever did. There is such a thing as accepting a responsibility.”

“In your world, perhaps. In mine. Maybe not in his.”

“Damned if I know,” said Joe. “He has me beat. He’s a complete phony. This talk of his about a home is all phony, too. He was only there for four or five years.”

“Maybe if we let him stay in one place and brought people to him, on one pretext or another. Let him sit in a chair, without being noticeable, and parade them past him. Or take him to big meetings and conventions. Let him live it up a little. He might like it better.”

“This was all hashed out,” said Joe. “We can’t be noticed; we can’t stand publicity. Christ, can you imagine what might happen if this became public knowledge? He brags about it, of course. He probably was telling them all about it in that dive he stopped off at this afternoon. They paid no attention to him. The lawyer thought that he was crazy. He could stand on a rooftop and yell it to all the world and no one would pay attention. But let one hint come out of Washington …”

“I know,” said Charley. “I know.”

“It’s being done,” said Joe, “the only way it can be done. We’re exposing people to good health, just the way they are exposed to disease. And we’re doing it where the need of it is greatest.”

“I have a funny feeling, Joe.”

“What’s that?”

“We may be doing wrong. It sometimes doesn’t seem quite right to me.”

“You mean going blind. Doing something and not knowing what we are doing. Without understanding it.”

“I guess that’s it. I don’t know. I am all confused. I guess we’re helping people.”

“Ourselves included. The exposure we are getting to this guy, we should live forever.”