Роберт Асприн - Forever After

“It was self-defense,” he explained as he beat the man’s head against the floor and relieved him of his sword. “Do you have any idea what Domino would do to me if I let Jord get hurt?”

Tossing Rissa to the floor in a sudden burst of cruel strength, Kalaran reached for Jord, only to find Prince Rango blocking his way. Kalaran sought to push him aside, finding to his dismay that his usurped body’s arm was merging with the shade of its rightful owner and that Rango had control.

“Disarmed you, have I?” Prince Rango chuckled.

From the floor, Princess Rissa moaned in pain. “Rango, that was terrible!”

“Thank you, darling,” the misty Prince replied.

Jancy had few smiles to spare for puns. Her dagger had been wrested from her and she was unfamiliar with the sword she had taken from one of her slain. Three Guards had forced her a few steps away from the Princess and were determinedly wearing her down.

Spite fought her way to Domino’s side. She had shape-shifted into a buxom pale green centaur. Without hesitation, Domino grabbed the centaur’s shapely soft shoulders and mounted. As she did so, Spite tossed the wedding gift to Jancy.

“Warrior maid,” the centaur called, “Castrator!”

The Guard fell back for a moment, their hands falling to cover their privates, believing that the title was one that Jancy claimed. She caught the package neatly and tore away the wrapping from her bearded ax.

“By Hel’s black-and-white hair,” she gloated, “now this is going to be fucking great!”

Even Ibble and Seth joined the battle that ensued— ring bearer and flower girl back to back, daggers in hand. The slaughter was enormous. The wedding guests froze in terror, knowing that if they fled they might become die next victims.

Through it all, Jord kept reading, though his voice was growing hoarse as he strove to be heard over the turmoil. Joined at the arm with Prince Rango, Kalaran spat at Jord and his spittle became a ball of fire that flew at the poet, growing enormously so that it threatened to engulf both reader and text.

Rissa screamed and struck Kalaran a fierce blow in the kidneys, but she could do nothing for Jord. The fire crisped both the Book of the Service and the robes of the Chief Priest. Then a flash of light burst from Jord’s breast. The fire vanished completely, leaving the poet nude and grasping the ancient scroll of Gwykander.

“The amulet Anachron!” Kalaran gasped, “and the scroll! Don’t any of you do what you are told?”

Stiller chortled from where he had felled yet another of the Prince’s Guard.

“ ’Tis a good thing that Domino had initiative, but you have none but yourself to blame for Anachron’s presence. It was brought to Caltus by Udan Kann.”

“Udan Kann!” the Fallen Sunbird brightened.

“Don’t get your hopes up, godlet,” Calla Mallanik added, “Udan Kann was slain by Gar Quithnick by means of a delayed death touch. You are alone here.”

“Damn Gar Quithnick!” Kalaran cursed. “And damn you! Anachron cannot protect you all!”

Again he spat, this time directing his spittle toward Calla Mallanik. The elf stepped nimbly aside, but Ibble and Seth who had fought to his lee were not so fortunate. The dwarf took the brunt of the fireball. What remained spilled over onto the girl.

“You bastard!” Prince Rango yelled as the two small forms toppled to the floor. “I have had enough!”

He grabbed the demigod, shaking him as if to wrest him from the body he had stolen. With an aplomb that only poetry reading could have trained him for, nude and singed, Jord continued to read.

“ Quatendo erbud, altonfuss dermain! Akanetendo, ranmal Tendo soon, pan gen da ma! Royu gah haf! ”

The Prince’s shaking effectively kept the demigod from effecting another spell as the final words of the ancient exorcism split Kalaran’s immortal soul from Prince Rango’s body.

On the sanctuary floor, the tiny figurine of the Demon of Darkness glowed with the blackness between the stars. Then, as once Kalaran had captured the Prince, the figurine captured the demigod’s immortal essence.

Battle ceased as Jord’s chanting finished and all the combatants realized that the true fight was won. Prince Rango swept Rissa to her feet just as she was about to land another punch in his kidneys. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

“This is my Prince!” she declaimed in a loud, clear voice.

Spontaneous applause rose from where the guests sat — though everyone was too polite to wonder aloud whether the intensity was due to the return of the Prince or to the fact that the guests now knew they would not be slaughtered as a wedding sacrifice.

Domino swung down from Spite’s back and hurried into the sanctuary, but she didn’t spare even an appreciative glance for Jord. Instead she rushed to the two charred heaps on the marble floor by the altar. Calla Mallanik shook his aristocratic head sorrowfully and tried to stop her.

“They’re gone,” he said. “You can do nothing more.”

“Maybe,” Domino said, pushing past him. “Jord, bring that damned amulet here.”

The poet hurried over, his shapely ass drawing appreciative comments from the audience. He pulled Anachron over his head and held it to Seth’s breast.

“That’s right,” he said softly, “it has the power to heal.”

“But not to resurrect,” Domino added anxiously, “I only hope that we’re not too late!”

A glow far purer than the fires of the Fallen Sunbird rose from the amulet and suffused the burnt child. Absolute silence fell within the Cathedral of Dym, broken by wild cheering as Seth shook off the charred remnants of her flower girl’s frock and sat up.

Domino clasped the girl to her heart and Rissa knelt and slashed off ten feet of her lace-embroidered train to cover her.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” the girl whispered, looking down in wonder at the amulet, “and thank you, Anachron.”

“Ibble!” Stiller cried. “Use the amulet on Ibble, Domino.”

But as Domino reached for the glowing amulet, it shimmered, faded, and was gone.

“It’s vanished!” the Princess cried. “But where has it gone?‘

“Back to Gelfait, I’d wager,” Stiller said, looking down at the corpse of his companion. “Gar Quithnick must not be dead after all, but Gelfait’s position out of time delayed the amulet’s return to him.”

“What an irony,” Jord declaimed from where he was stripping a set of pants and a uniform jacket from a recently slain Guard. “Gar lives but is lost to us forever and the amulet’s flight to him has robbed us of Ibble as well.”

“Well, not really,” came a familiar voice from the small charred heap on the floor, “we dwarves are pretty tough, you know. We’re particularly well-protected from fire. Wouldn’t be worth much as smiths if we weren’t.”

A second spate of applause, this one flavored with hearty laughter followed the dwarfs announcement. Stiller bent and embraced his friend.

“Brush yourself off and find some pants,” he said. “We have a wedding and a coronation to complete!”

“Wait!” twittered a female voice as Daisy hurried from the rear of the Cathedral. “You can’t mean to continue the ceremony with bodies all about and half of the wedding party soaked with blood and gore!”

Rissa looked at Rango and the Prince nodded, embracing her about the waist. Then the Princess spoke.

“We do and we will! After all we have been through, the wedding must not be delayed.” She looked at the older woman and relented slightly. “Very well, there will be a brief intermission to clear away the bodies.”

“What shall we do with this, Rissa?” Jancy asked, picking the figurine of Darkness from the floor.