Элизабет Бир - The Best of Elizabeth Bear

That storyabout the airport and the aftermath. I don’t think it really happened that way.

I think it’s a pretty story I’m telling myself. I don’t know if I ever stood up for that girl, really. If I ever stood up for myself.

I remember doing it. I wrote it down. Does that mean it happened?

Or did I just figure out that Joshua was cheating on me and split not too much later? I tried to forget. I was, needless to say, pretty successful.

The plan to put incendiaries in basements and start a huge firestorm in Chicago had been mine to begin with. I came up with it. I gave it to Joshua as if it were just the plot for one of my thrillers. The ones I make my living writing now.

I wonder if he’ll try to blame it on me. Or if he’ll want to take credit.

He’ll want to take credit.

I never really thought he would do it. It was a thought experiment, that was all.

Just a thought experiment.

I joined a cult in college. It turned out about as well as you’d expect.

If you join a cult in college, I hope you get well soon.

You don’thave to be perfect.

Sometimes it’s okay for a thing to be a little bit broken.

Sometimes it’s okay to make do with what you have, and what you are.

I imagine meeting him in court. Of course I will have to testify. I’d better make sure of my solidity before then. I’d better commit .

My fingers leave peanut butter stains on the paper. I hope the food delivery comes soon. I’d like some milk.

I can’t know what it will be like, but I rehearse it in my head anyway. I write it down to make it real, so I can act on it when the time comes.

The FBI are on their way.

Me, strong,implacable. Joshua saying, “I didn’t think you had the balls to turn me in.”

Me meeting his gaze. “You never did know me.”

I waitfor the doorbell. For the food. For the authorities.

I get to the bottom of the last page. I reach blindly for the next book, find the blanks at the end, and keep writing.

You don’t have to be perfect.

This story isn’t done yet with me.

“Covenant” First published in Hieroglyph: Stories and Visions for a Better Future, 2014, Kathryn Cramer and Ed Finn, eds.

“She Still Loves the Dragon” First published in Uncanny Magazine, January 2018, Lynne M. Thomas and Michael D. Thomas, eds.

“Tideline” First published in Asimov’s Science Fiction, June 2007, Sheila Williams, ed. “The Leavings of the Wolf” First published in Apex Magazine, November 2011,

Lynne M. Thomas, ed.

“Okay, Glory” First published in Twelve Tomorrows, 2018, Wade Roush, ed.

“Needles” First published in Blood and Other Cravings, 2011, Ellen Datlow, ed.

“This Chance Planet” First published in Tor.com, October 22 2014, Ellen Datlow, ed.

“The Body of the Nation” First published in Garrett Investigates, 2012, William Schafer, ed.

“Boojum” First published in Fast Ships, Black Sails, 2008, Ann VanderMeer and Jeff VanderMeer, eds.

“The Bone War” First published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, September-October 2015, C.C. Finlay, ed.

“In the House of Aryaman, a Lonely Signal Burns” First published in Asimov’s Science Fiction, January 2012, Sheila Williams ed.

“Shoggoths in Bloom” First published in Asimov’s Science Fiction, March 2008, Sheila Williams ed.

“Skin in the Game” First published in Future Visions: Original Science Fiction Stories Inspired by Microsoft, 2015, Jennifer Henshaw and Allison Linn, eds.

“Hobnoblin Blues” First published in Realms of Fantasy, February 2008, Shawna McCarthy, ed.

“Form and Void” First published in Fireside, Winter 2012, Brian J. White, ed. “Your Collar” First published in Subterranean Online, Spring 2008, William

Schafer, ed.

“Terroir” First published in Harvest Season, 2014.

“Dolly” First published in Asimov’s Science Fiction, January 2011, Sheila Williams, ed.

“Love Among the Talus” First published in Strange Horizons, December 2006, Susan Marie Groppi, ed.

“The Deeps of the Sky” First published in Edge of Infinity, 2012, Jonathan Strahan, ed.

“Two Dreams on Trains” First published in Strange Horizons, January 2005, Susan Marie Groppi, ed.

“Faster Gun” First published in Tor.com, August 8, 2008, Patrick Nielsen Hayden, ed.

“The Heart’s Filthy Lesson” First published in Old Venus, 2015, Gardner Dozois and George R.R. Martin, eds.

“Perfect Gun” First published in Infinity Wars, 2017, Jonathan Strahan, ed.

“Sonny Liston Takes The Fall” First published in The Del Rey Book of Science Fiction and Fantasy: Sixteen Original Works by Speculative Fiction’s Finest Voices, 2008, Ellen Datlow, ed.

“Orm the Beautiful” First published in Clarkesworld Magazine, January 2007, Neil Clarke, ed.

“Erase, Erase, Erase” First published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, 2019, C.C. Finlay, ed.

Thank you for reading a Subterranean Press book!

Subterranean Press creates readable art, publishing luxurious specialty, limited editions and groundbreaking original works in the science fiction, fantasy, and horror genre. Subterranean works with a wide range of authors, from cult favorites to some of the bestselling and most acclaimed authors in the world.

Based in Burton, Michigan, Subterranean issues approximately 45 titles each year. Since it began in 1995, both the publisher and numerous works it has produced have been honored with accolades including the World Fantasy, Locus, Horror Writers Association, and Hugo awards.

Make sure you don’t miss interesting happenings by joining our newsletter at our homepage!

The Best of Elizabeth Bear

Copyright © 2020 by Elizabeth Bear.

All rights reserved.

Introduction

Copyright © 2020 by C.L. Polk.

All rights reserved.

Dust jacket illustration

Copyright © 2020 by Tom Canty.

All rights reserved.

Print interior design

Copyright © 2020 by Desert Isle Design, LLC.

All rights reserved.

See here for individual story copyright information.

Electronic Edition

ISBN978-1-59606-941-1

Subterranean Press

PO Box 190106

Burton, MI 48519

subterraneanpress.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

Henry Morrisseau, “Diamonds & Diesel: A Candid Interview With Loki,” Tracks , August 1972.