Paul Collins - Earthborn The

She'd learned from Patrick and Mira that Bruick had been aware of her plans from the start, so they'd had to quickly improvise. It seemed that the safest thing for them to do was inform him that it was Sarah's sister who had infiltrated his Stockade. It was either tell him that or be killed. Besides, they guessed rightly that Bruick would treasure a captive such as Sarah's sister.

Gillian was visibly disturbed when told the news that Elab had led the others on an exploratory expedition. It seemed inconceivable that the Committee would allow them to go on such an impossible mission.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Lucida said. "Isn't that why you put yourself and the others in jeopardy by going over to Bruick's Stockade?"

Gillian hung her head. She hadn't exactly wanted the others there, but her rash act had almost been their downfall and, worse, it had set a poor example to others in the family—even if some of them considered her mission heroic. Despite two days of decent food, neither Welkin nor Gillian felt capable of following the search party at this time.

Lacking several members, Trask and Denton had been temporarily elected to the Committee. They had been close friends of Gillian's, but now responsibilities made them more distant. They had even upbraided her on her recklessness.

Gillian said in a low voice, "I just want to say it should have been done long ago. I'm not going to justify my actions, but we've left a snake in our backyard, and the snake is getting bigger and stronger every day. Now we have two enemies instead of one."

Trask acknowledged what she said but added, "It should have been a Committee decision."

Welkin looked up. He had been sitting there quietly, saying little. Now he leaned forward and stared intently at the gathering.

"We should have dealt with Bruick before he got established." He smiled at the others' discomfort.

"Instead, we let his original gang of ten become the army it is today. We could have had him several times, but Sarah thought that we shouldn't lower ourselves to fight on his level. Sarah was wrong.

Sometimes to protect the whole, you must eliminate the disease." He didn't realize he was echoing words used against him not so long ago on Colony.

"Den E-ho-me" Efi said emphatically. Then, "And we haven't! Fthani pia! —I give up!"

Welkin held his hands up in mock defense. "No, we haven't. But all our problems today can be traced to letting Bruick live." He looked over to where the dejected Gillian had slumped in her chair. He knew she was feeling guilty and yet he also knew she needed to feel guilty. Growth came only from pain; sparing someone her pain simply kept her a child.

"We're not murderers," Lucida pointed out.

"No, we're the victims," Welkin countered.

"Pro-spa-thou-me na to fiaxome —we're trying to rectify that—" Efi started.

"—by sending out five family members on a hopeless mission?" Welkin interrupted. He coolly appraised each of them, almost daring them to contradict him.

They did, of course, all at once. The buzz of accusations lasted until Efi banged her fist down on the table. "Sioi! —quiet!" Her knuckles were white, her hands clenched tightly.

"Ftani pia! Enough! You know as well as any Committee member, Welkin, that united we're something, and divided we fall. This is why Sarah instigated the Committee. The core, she used to call us.

Remember?"

Welkin nodded slowly. He knew where Efi was heading. He'd even predicted she would get up from her seat and begin pacing the room as she spoke her thoughts on this issue. He was glad he'd takenthe pressure off Gillian. No matter what transpired in this room today, his and Gillian's destiny was already mapped out.

"Elab is a major part of that 'core.' Sinfonisame? —agreed?" Efi directed her words at the Committee yet managed to keep her eyes mainly on Welkin, as though reading his thoughts. "We can spend the rest of our lives fighting both Colony and Bruick's Stockade and never achieve anything. Or we send volunteers into the wilderness on the off chance we achieve something but without risking the whole family." Efi spoke brusquely. She was obviously upset that Welkin couldn't see the point she was making.

Or maybe she was annoyed that he had risked himself to save a person who acted selfishly and without thought for anyone else.

"Remember Sarah's dictum: 'You've got to kick goals sometimes.' And that's what we're after here. A goal."

She seemed to grope for words, then after a few moments of silence simply shrugged.

"I just don't know what you think you would've done in our place, Welkin. Here's a chance for us to become allies with a faction of Skyborn." She frowned when a thought hit her. "A rebellious faction just like we were. Why, they may even be looking for us."

Efi returned to her chair, a look of surprise on her face. "Look." She clasped her fingers and rested her chin on them. "Let's not kid anyone here. The united family concept was good. Sinfonisame? —

agreed? With Sarah at the helm we had a figurehead. I sometimes suspect that Sarah knew she was dying a long time ago and wanted the Committee as a bulwark against the united family's collapse."

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, pausing as though rallying her thoughts while the others waited expectantly. "E keri alazottne — sorry, times change. I think we're all agreed on that."

The others murmured assent. But Welkin said, "That's why Gillian took the course she did."

Efi gave an exasperated sigh. "Imagine if everyone just got up and did everything off his or her own bat. What's the use of a Committee if its policies are not followed?" She pointed outside to where she knew the family was gathering expectantly.

"Just what do we tell those people out there who have come torely on us? That we don't know what Gillian intends, or why Welkin has disappeared, or what the rest of us really stand for?" She shook her head. "It was aprosehtos —careless, thoughtless, and I'm disappointed you can't see all this for yourselves." She looked from Welkin to Gillian with a quizzical expression on her face.

Gillian had been staring at the floor. Now she raised her eyes and stared directly into Efi's. "We do understand what the Committee's all about," she said. She ran her hand across her newly shaved scalp, momentarily forgetting she was rid of her dreadlocks and their incumbent nits. "But if I'd been successful in killing Bruick, I'd be held up as a role model for the family to copy."

Trask spoke up next. He seemed certain of himself in his new role as a Committee member. "No, you

wouldn't," he said. "And if you were, that would be an even greater danger to the family in the long term.

We don't need that kind of model. When all is said and done, if you'd killed Bruick, any number of people could have succeeded him. And the Committee would have lost you." He broke off for a second.

"You do realize that you didn't have a hope of getting out of there once you'd killed Bruick?"

Gillian cocked her head, a defiant light in her eyes. "A small price to pay," she said at last.

"For you, maybe," Lucida cut in harshly. "But you have no right to throw your life away to the Committee's detriment."

"It's my life!" Gillian flared.

"And ours!" Lucida returned. She leaned forward across the table and challenged Gillian's glare.

"We're a community, Gillian. A. family! We do things together, and we decide together. That's how it has to work, otherwise what do we have? Anarchy. And isn't that what the family was created to bring to an end? Wasn't that Sarah's dream?"

The truth of Lucida's words hit Gillian like a slap. She hadn't thought of it like that, but of course that was exactly what Sarah had always strived for: an end to the long, dark years of ignorance and tribal warfare, and a restoration of human society . . . and human responsibility. For a long while after this Gillian felt very small and alone, as if it had been she who had left Sarah and not the other way around.