Hitori Nojima: Death Stranding: The Official Novelization, Volume Two

As an infant, Sam lost both parents and was adopted by President Strand. Owing to her stress and time-consuming responsibilities, Lucy could only presume that she was unable to afford him sufficient attention, which is to say that a distant relationship with his adoptive mother may have been a contributing factor. Sam was still very reluctant to talk about himself, and as an intensely private person it would take time to build trust and convince him to open himself up to her.

Progress has been slow, but Sam finally started to open up about himself. However, his recollection of early childhood was confused and contradictory. He had difficulty distinguishing between genuine memories and reoccurring dreams. Sam even claimed to have met his stepsister Amelie on the Beach several times while quite young. An impossible claim, to say the least.

Lucy was only a little older than Sam, but she was born before the Death Stranding—a fact that tended to affect the way people thought about the Beach. In her professional opinion, the Beach was a figment of their collective imagination. A shared delusion. But people born later were more likely to take its existence as a given. She wondered if they found comfort in the belief because it helped to explain phenomena like BTs and repatriates like Sam?

Similarly, her theory was that Sam’s manufactured childhood memories of the Beach were his way of coping with the fact that neither Amelie nor Bridget spent much time with him. She believed this to also be the reason he still clung to the dreamcatcher Amelie gave him even now, as an adult. You could call it his security blanket. It could also be the key to overcoming his aphenphosmphobia. If Sam were to emotionally distance himself from Amelie, it could reduce his resistance to physical intimacy. She decided to propose this approach to him in their next session.

It came as no surprise when Sam was unreceptive to Lucy’s suggestion and rejected her assessment of his relationship with Amelie. He asserted that he was not dependent on her or Bridget, and even went so far as to question Lucy’s credentials as a psychotherapist. His pronounced resistance to the idea only served as further evidence to Lucy of his dependency. Nevertheless, there was little she could do if Sam was unwilling to explore the possibility, other than continue to share her observations and hope that he eventually changed his mind. For the time being she decided to focus instead on Sam’s feelings toward Bridges and his place within the organization. Given that it was founded to support and protect his adoptive mother, and that the other core members had DOOMS like he did, she thought there was something to be gained from the discussion. His growing responsibilities within Bridges due to their expanding mandate and his abilities as a repatriate surely put him under greater pressure, and she wondered if his enthusiasm for their mission was sincere.

Based on their time spent together so far, she believed he may have embraced his role because it helped him to cope with the feelings of isolation—that he pledged himself to an impossible endeavor because it was preferable to living and dying alone.

Lucy decided a different approach was required, and so she requested a meeting with the president. Discretion was vital, as any information which might suggest she was receiving mental health treatment could be exploited by her opponents. The meeting was listed as an interview in official records—though she was more than willing to offer her services, had they been requested.

She opened by asking about Sam’s childhood, to which the president responded with an immediate and heartfelt apology. Her frankness shocked Lucy. Bridget expressed deep regret for her failure to engage with him, physically and emotionally, as she felt a mother should. At times it felt as though she was apologizing to her son by proxy. Her candor was as impressive to Lucy as it was appreciated.

The president told her that her daughter Amelie had mostly taken care of Sam in her absence. She glossed over the details, but she divulged that Amelie also had DOOMS, and claimed that she would often take Sam with her to play on the Beach.

President Strand loved her son. Lucy’s meeting with her confirmed that beyond any doubt. The question was whether or not Sam perceived his mother’s love. Both Sam and the president talked about the Beach as though it were a real, physical place, but Lucy remained convinced that it didn’t exist—that it was a shared delusion, and that Sam and Amelie’s so-called “visits” were mental constructs. Sam would not necessarily be convinced of this—especially if it had been “planted” in his mind… But such an explanation would fit with his claims that he had never been able to visit the Beach of his own volition.

What if, subconsciously, Sam had developed an attachment to or longing for the Beach—one that paralleled his feelings toward his sister and mother? Furthermore, what if they had all become, in essence, objects of veneration? Upon further consideration, it wasn’t so hard to imagine. President Strand was an exceptional woman who exhibited panromantic qualities—as did her daughter, Amelie. This was surely one of the reasons why they had been able to commit themselves so completely to the cause of American reconstruction, their one true love. Sam, on the other hand, Lucy diagnosed as demisexual. His sexual desires were strictly limited to those with whom he had formed an emotional connection—excepting family members like Amelie, of course.

It was only natural to regard those more highly with whom he developed an intimate emotional connection. For children, this could lead to veneration. Yet there was also an inherent contradiction in this, for divinity is distant by nature, even as we yearn to grow closer to it. Lucy came to the conclusion that this contradiction was at the root of Sam’s aphenphosmphobia.

“What the fuck?!” Sam exploded in rage when she told him her theory. “I’m a repatriate. A fuckup whose soul gets bounced back from the Seam every time I die in a horrible explosion!”

Lucy had decided to share with Sam her working theory regarding his condition. She was prepared for some resistance, but the intensity of his anger was surprising. He glared at her as he reframed her assessment as wild speculation that he had been brainwashed by a cult. It was the first time Lucy had managed to coax such a powerful emotional response from him, and while she found it a little frightening, she did her best to remain professional, welcoming the breakthrough and the reduction in the distance between them. That was how she presented professionally, but a part of her was delighted by his aggressive response.

Emboldened, she pressed him further, until she finally told him to snap out of it. To renounce his fantasies about the other side.

For an instant, she thought he might explode in anger again, but instead he grew quiet, and after a long moment rose to his feet and left the room without saying another word. She feared she may have pushed him too hard…

Sam turned up for his next appointment, right on time. He looked calmer than usual, though that might have been wishful thinking on Lucy’s part. He’d been thinking a lot about their last session, and how it had ended. He said he wished she was right, about the Beach, and what it meant to be a repatriate. That he appreciated the time they’d spent together—that Lucy had spent listening to his stories.

“It isn’t all in my head, and I can prove it,” Sam said as he pulled out a syringe. Sam was calm, but Lucy wasn’t. Then he stuck the needle in his chest.