Robert Asprin - Phule's Company

"We know the article in question, Captain," Battleax interrupted, fighting a smile. "It's referenced frequently in your file. "

General Blitzkrieg was shaking his head in amazement and confusion.

"Is it legal? Doing business with an alien race outside the Alliance, I mean."

"To the best of my knowledge," the captain answered smoothly, "there is no law specifically forbidding such an arrangement. If we were at war with the Zenobians, it might be a different matter, but I don't believe there are any provisos for dealings with intelligent aliens that are not either in the Alliance or actively at war with us."

He paused to smile at the reviewing officers.

"I imagine the tax boys might try to find some basis to challenge the deal, but I suggest we leave that to the battery of lawyers Phule-Proof Munitions employs for just such disputes. Repeating my initial assertion, I see no reason why such a question of legality, if it arises at all, should involve the Space Legion... or, specifically, me or my command."

After the brief media conference where it was announced that Captain Jester of the Space Legion had not only been cleared of any charges of misconduct but decorated for his handling of the Zenobian episode, that notable retired to the nearest bar, which happened to be in the spaceport, for a quiet drink.

"I'll tell you, Beeker, that's a load off my mind. For a while I thought they were going to shoot me just out of general principles."

"It's good to see you vindicated, sir... if I may say so," the butler agreed, raising his own glass in a small toast.

"The company showing up like that didn't hurt at all," the commander mused. "How did they react when the company portfolio profits were announced?"

"I don't believe the announcement has been made yet, sir. The lieutenants seemed a bit preoccupied with the preparations for today's demonstration when I passed the information to them."

"Good," Phule said. "I'll tell them myself. I wonder how they'll take to being suddenly wealthy?"

"I've been meaning to ask for some time, sir. Is what you're doing with the portfolio aboveboard... legally and ethically?"

"What do you mean, Beek?"

"Well, it seems to me that buying stocks in corporations where you are a majority stockholder, particularly just before mergers or new product developments are announced, might be viewed by some as 'insider information."'

"Nonsense." Phule smiled easily. "Coincidences will happen... and besides, if I don't have enough faith in my own ventures to invest in them, how can I expect anyone else to?"

"If you say so, sir."

"How about dinner tonight, Beeker? Truth to tell, I'm a little tired of looking at Legionnaire uniforms today."

"I'm sorry, sir. I already have a dinner date."

"Oh?" The commander raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"The court recorder," his butler said in explanation.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed she was your type."

Beeker sighed. "Normally she wouldn't be. The conversation did, however, keep her occupied until after the company arrived for its demonstration."

"I guess it did at that," Phule said. "Tell you what, Beek. Go ahead and put the dinner on my account."

"Very good, sir."

Aboard the shuttlecraft, Colonel Battleax was embroiled in a conversation of an entirely different nature.

"I tell you, General, he's completely turned the Omega Company around. You saw how they rallied when they thought he was in trouble. What's more, the media loves him. As far as they're concerned, the original reports were correct: He's heading up the Space Legion's crack outfit. Now, you and I may know different, but I think we should capitalize on that publicity. They're wasted on this swamp guard contract."

"Oh, I fully intend to reassign them, Colonel," the general said. "There are a few situations on my desk I'd like to try them out on. We'll find out once and for all exactly how good these 'elite troubleshooters' really are... or aren't."

His smile was devoid of any warmth.