Robert Asprin - Phules Paradise

Far more important to me, however, was the evidence of growing bad blood between the forces led by my employer and those reporting to Laverna's employer. This concerned me since, to the best of my knowledge, both leaders seemed unaware of the tensions building in the levels under them.

Journal #234

There is much made of the satisfaction felt by a commander when a plan comes together.

Obviously I cannot comment on the conduct of all, or even the majority of, military commanders under these circumstances, but the behavior of my employer on the opening day of the Fat Chance Casino showed little of this passive enjoyment. Rather, he was more like an insecure party hostess, hurrying here and there and busying himself with countless details, dealing with both important and minor chores with equal intensity.

Huey Martin was in the middle of getting dressed when he was interrupted by an insistent hammering on the door of his suite. This was both annoying and puzzling, as people rarely visited his room, and never without calling in advance.

"Who is it?" he called, hurrying to button his shirt.

Instead of an answer, he heard the sound of a key in his lock. Before he could protest, the door slammed open and the commander of the casino's security force strode into the room, followed closely by two guards ... and Gunther Rafael himself!

A sudden pang of fear stabbed at the casino manager's gut, but gambler's reflex kept him from showing his emotions openly.

"What's going on?" he demanded indignantly. "I'm trying to get ready for the opening."

"That won't be necessary," the commander, said levelly. "You're being relieved of your duties. Effective immediately."

"I ... I don't understand," Huey said, looking at the casino owner in feigned bewilderment.

"It won't work, Huey," Gunther said tersely. "We know all about your working for Max and about the dealers you've been hiring."

"We have some interesting tapes from the eye-in-the-sky cameras," Phule said. "Your pet dealers have provided us with a catalog of skims and scams, often while you were standing on camera watching them. They're being met as they report for duty, incidentally. We felt it was best that they not work the opening. In fact, they're being given the entire week off without pay. After that, we'll interview them again to see if they're willing to work for us without the skims and perks."

"But that won't leave you with enough dealers to open!" the manager said, then realized he was admitting the extent of his treachery.

The commander smiled humorlessly. "That would be true if we hadn't arranged in advance for replacements for them ... and you."

Huey was stunned by the admission that this action against him was not spontaneous, but rather the result of foreknowledge and substantial planning.

"So what does this mean for me?" he said, both from curiosity and to cover his confusion.

Gunther looked at the commander.

"You will be held here," Phule said, "incommunicado."

As he spoke, he nodded at the Legionnaires, who responded by moving through the suite and pulling the phone in each room out of the wall.

"Once the opening is over," the commander continued, "you'll be free to go. Your employment here is, to say the least, terminated."

"You can't do that," the manager said, shaking his head. "I have a contract that guarantees me due notice as well as a share of the casino."

Phule scowled and shot a sidelong glance at the casino owner.

"Do you have a copy of that contract?" he said. "I'd like to see it."

Huey produced the document from a drawer in his desk and passed it to the commander, who moved closer to a light to study it.

"Why did you do it, Huey?" Gunther said, the hurt showing in his voice. "Wasn't the deal we had between us enough for you?"

"Hey, nothing personal, kid," the manager said. "It's just that my mom raised me greedy. The way it was, it looked like I could collect on our deal and from Max, and by my addition, two paychecks are better than one. Like I say, nothing personal."

"Excuse me," Phule interrupted, turning back to the conversation, "but I don't find anything in here about termination notice or about your having a share in the casino."

"Of course it's there," Huey said, snatching the contract back. "Look, I'll show you. It's right ..."

He began paging through the document, then scowled and flipped back a few pages to study it closer.

"I don't understand," he murmured. "I know they're in here."

"Believe me, Mr. Martin," the commander said, "I just reviewed the contract, and they're not."

An image flashed across the manager's mind. The image of Phule turning away to look at the contract.

"You switched it!" he accused with sudden realization. "This isn't the contract I handed you!"

"Nonsense," Phule said. "That's your signature on the last page, isn't it?"

Huey barely glanced at the indicated page.

"It may be ... More likely a forgery," he spat. "Either that or you pulled the last page and attached it to a new contract. Don't think you're going to get away with this!"

"That's an interesting accusation," the commander said, unruffled. "Though I suspect it would be hard to prove in court. Of course, if you did try to take this to court, we'd be forced to make our tapes a part of the public record to defend the position that you were fired with cause. That might make it a little hard for you to find another position, since I doubt the media would let the story die until they had broadcast the footage several dozen times."

The room seemed to reel around the manager as he had a sudden vision of his face and misdeeds being publicized stellarwide.

"You ... you wouldn't," he said.

"We wouldn't unless we felt it was necessary to protect our interests," Phule corrected. "Personally I'd suggest you take the more salvageable alternative of a quiet dismissal. Then again, perhaps you can convince Mr. Gunther here to reinstate you. After the opening, of course."

"Is ... is there any chance of that?" Huey said, looking to the casino owner.

Gunther shrugged. "Maybe. But only if-how did you put that again, Willie?"

"Only if you succeeded in convincing Mr.. Rafael that your loyalties were now properly aligned," the commander supplied.

"How could I do that?"

"Well, for starters you could tell us everything you know about Max's plans, beginning with the `special guests' that have been invited to the grand opening," Phule said. "If nothing else, that should burn the bridge between you and your old cronies. By the way, you might as well tell us directly. We've pieced together enough on our own that I'm afraid Max will assume you've sold her out, whether you do or not. I suggest you use what information is left to bargain for some protection."

"Here's your key, Mr. Shuman-room 2339-and welcome to the Fat Chance Casino. Front!"

With the deftness born from many years' practice, the clerk slapped the small bell on the registration desk, summoning a valet before the guests could stop him.

"Elevators are this way, sir," the valet said, materializing between the elderly couple and their only piece of luggage.

Snatching up the bag with ease, he led the way, leaving the twosome to trail along behind him.

"Well, Mother, we're here!" the portly gentleman declared, giving his wife a hug with one arm as they walked.

"Henry ... how old would you say that young man at the front desk is?" the frumpy woman at his side inquired.

"Oh, I don't know," the man said, glancing back. "Late twenties, early thirties, I'd guess. It's hard to tell with kids these days. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," his wife said with a shrug. "He struck me as being a bit young to be wearing a hearing aid."