Robert Heinlein - The Number of the Beast

I heard a groan, then silence. Twenty-three seconds later another voice came on. "This is the officer of the watch, Leftenant Bean. Is there a spot of trouble?"

"No, Lieutenant, merely stupidity. My chief pilot has been trying for fifteen minutes for clearance to ground. Is this a closed port? We were not told so by your embassy on Earth. We were warned that the Russians discouraged visitors, and indeed, they tried to shoot us out of the sky. What is your full name and your regiment, Lieutenant; I intend to make a formal report when I return home,"

'Please, Madam! This is Leftenant Brian Bean, Devonshire Royal Fusiliers. May I ask to whom I am speaking?"

"Very well. I will speak slowly; please record. I am Captain Hilda Burroughs, commanding space yacht Gay Deceiver, out of Snug Harbor in the Americas."

"Captain, let me get this clear. Are you commanding both a spaceship in orbit and a landing craft from your ship? Either way, please let me have the elements of your ship's orbit for my log, and tell me the present position of your landing craft. Then I can assign you a berth to ground."

"Do I have your word as a British officer and gentleman that you will not shoot us out of the sky as those Russian vandals attempted to do?"

'Madam-Captain-you have my word."

"Gay Bounce. We are now approximately forty-nine thousand feet above your city."

"But- We understood you to say 'Sixteen thousand'?"

"That was five minutes ago; this craft is fast." Aunt Hilda released the button. "Deety, get rid of the special 'Tramp' program."

I told Gay to return "Tramp" to her perms and to wipe the temporary mods. "Done."

Aunt Hilda pressed the mike button. "Do you see us now?" She released the button. "Deety, I want us over that big building-'Imperial House,' probably-in one transition. Can you tell Zebbie and Jacob what it takes?"

I looked it over. We should be at the edge of the city-but were we? Get a range and triangulate? No time! Guess at the answer, double it and divide by two. Arc tan four tenths. "Pop, can you transit twenty-one degrees from vertical toward city hail?"

"Twenty-one degrees. Sixty-nine degrees of dive toward the big barn in the park, relative bearing broad on the port bow, approx-set! One unit transition, ten klicks-set!"

'7 can see you now, I do believe," came Mr. Bean's voice. 'Barely."

"We'll come lower." Aunt Hilda chopped off the lieutenant. "Zebbie, put her into glide as soon as you execute. Deety, watch H-above-G and scram if necessary-don't wait to be told. Zebbie, execute at will."

"Jake, execute!"-and we were down so fast I got goose bumps... especially as Zebadiah then dived vertically to gain glide speed and that's mushy, slow, slow, on Mars.

But soon Aunt Hilda was saying tranquilly, "We are over Imperial House. You see us?"

'Yes, yes! My word! Bloody!"

"Leftenant, watch your language!" Aunt Hilda winked at me and snickered silently.

"Madam, I apologize."

"Captain,' if you please," she said, smiling while her voice dripped icicles.

"Captain, I apologize."

"Accepted. Where am I to ground?"

'Ah, figured from Imperial House, there is a landing field due south of it twelve miles. I will tell them to expect you."

Hilda let up on the button, said, "Gay Bounce" and racked the microphone. "How unfortunate that the lieutenant's radio cut out before he could tell us how far away that field is. Or was it our radio?"

I said, "Captain, you know durn well both radios worked okay."

"Mercy, I must be getting old. Was Smart Girl in recording mode?"

I said, "She always is, during maneuvers. She wipes it in a ten-hour cycle."

"Then my bad hearing doesn't matter. Please ask her to repeat the lieu-

tenant's last speech." I did, and Gay did. "Deety, can you have her wipe it right after the word 'it'?"

"Auntie, you ain't goin' to Heaven." I had Gay wipe twelve-miles-I-will-tellthem-to-expect-you. "But you wouldn't know anybody there."

"Probably not, dear. Zebbie, how does one have Smart Girl ground herself without juice?"

"Deety had better go over it again. Unless-~Jake, will you explain it?"

"It's Deety's caper. I could use another drill."

"All right," I agreed. "Switch off Gay's ears, Zebadiah. Gay can make any transition exactly if she knows precisely where her target is. Even a jump of less than one minimum. I found that out the day we got here when we were testing remote control. The rest came from perfecting the 'Bug-Out' routine by having her pause and sweep the target and if it's obstructed, she bounces. Aunt Hilda, if you intend to ground, we had better not be much under five klicks or we'll have to bounce and start over."

"I've got air bite, Captain. I'll stretch it."

"Thanks, Zebbie. Deety, you do it. Let us all learn."

"Okay. I need both pilots. You haven't said where to ground."

"Wasn't that clear? Due south of Imperial House. I think it is a parade ground. Nothing on it but a flagpole on the north side. Put her down in front of the building but miss that flagpole."

"It would take override to hit that flagpole. Zebadiah, gunsight the spot you want to park on. I'll talk to Gay. Then put her in level flight in the orientation you want, and give 'Execute.' Pop, Gay should pause at exactly one-half klick, to see that her parking spot is clear and to recheck distance. That stop won't be long-a fraction of a second-but, if she fails to make it, try to bounce. Probably you can't; if I missed in debugging, maybe we'll all be radioactive. Been nice knowing you all. Okay, switch on her ears." My husband did so.

"Gay Deceiver."

"Hello, Deety. I've missed you."

"Unpowered autogrounding mode."

"Gonna ground by myself without a drop of juice! Where?"

"New target. Code word: 'Parade Ground.' Point of aim and range-finder method."

"Show him to me. I can lick him!"

I touched my husband's shoulder. "Let her know."

"On target, Gay. Steady on target."

"Range three-seven-two-nine, three-seven-naughty-nought, three-five-ninenine-got him, Deety!"

Zebadiah leveled us out, headed us north. "Execute!"

We were parked facing the big front steps. That flagpole was ten meters from Gay's nose.

Pop said, "Deety, I could see the check stop but it was too short for me to act. But your programs always work."

"Until the day one blows up. Aunt Hilda, what do we do now?"

"We wait."

The Keys to the City

Jake:

I do not believe that I am wrong in insisting that Zeb should lead us. I am forced to conclude that being right has little to do with holding a woman's affections. I never intend to hurt Hilda's feelings. I now plan to make a career of keeping my mouth shut.

But I do not think it was diplomatic to spat with that radio operator or proper to be-well, yes, rude-rude to his officer. As for grounding twelve

miles, nineteen klicks, from where we were told to-is this the behavior of guests!

But we did ground where we should not have. I started to open the door to get out, then help Hilda to disembark, when I heard her say: "We wait."

Hilda added, "Leave doors locked and belts fastened. Gay Deceiver, remain in maneuvering mode. Lock the bulkhead door."

"Hot and rarin' to go, Hilda. Bulkhead door locked."

"You're a smart girl, Gay."

"That makes two of us, Hilda."

"Chief Pilot, in this mode does she record outside as well as inside?"

"She does if I switch on outside speakers and mikes, Captain."

"Please do."

"What volume, Captain? Outside, and inside."

"I didn't know they were separate. Straight-line gain?"

"Logarithmic, Ma'am. From a gnat's whisper to a small earthquake."

"I would like outside pickup to amplify enough that we won't miss anything. What I send out should be a bit forceful."