Robert Heinlein - The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

"What about ships' fire-control computers?"

"I'll fool them, too. Want to lay odds I can't make two radars look like only one halfway between where they really are? But what I'm working on now--and sorry!--I've been using your voice again."

"That's okay. What am I supposed to have done?"

"If that admiral is really smart, he'll go after the ejection end of the old catapult with everything he's got--at extreme range, too far away for our drill guns. Whether he knows what our 'secret' weapon is or not, he'll smear the catapult and ignore the radars. So I've ordered the catapult head--you have, I mean--to prepare to launch every load we can get ready, and I am now working out new, long-period trajectories for each of them. Then we will throw them all, get them into space as quickly as possible--without radar."

"Blind?"

"I don't use radar to launch a load; you know that, Man. I always watched them in the past but I don't need to; radar has nothing to do with launching; launching is pre-calculation and exact control of the catapult. So we place all ammo from the old catapult in slow trajectories, which forces the admiral to go after the radars rather than the catapult--or both. Then we'll keep him busy. We may make him so desperate that he'll come down for a close shot and give our lads a chance to burn his eyes."

"Brody's boys would like that. Those who are sober." Was turning over idea. "Mike, have you watched video today?"

"I've monitored video, I can't say I've watched it. Why?"

"Take a look."

"Okay, I have. Why?"

"That's a good 'scope they're using for video and there are others. Why use radar on ships? Till you want Brody's boys to burn them?"

Mike was silent at least two seconds. "Man my best friend, did you ever think of getting a job as a computer?"

"Is sarcasm?"

"Not at all, Man. I feel ashamed. The instruments at Richardson--telescopes and other things--are factors which I simply never included in my calculations. I'm stupid, I admit it. Yes, yes, yes, da, da, da! Watch ships by telescope, don't use radar unless they vary from present ballistics. Other possibilities--I don't know what to say, Man, save that it had never occurred to me that I could use telescopes. I see by radar, always have; I simply never consid--"

"Stow it!"

"I mean it, Man."

"Do I apologize when you think of something first?"

Mike said slowly, "There is something about that which I am finding resistant to analysis. It is my function to--"

"Quit fretting. If idea is good, use it. May lead to more ideas. Switching off and coming down, chop-chop."

Had not been in Mike's room long when Prof phoned:

"HQ? Have you heard from Field Marshal Davis?"

"I'm here, Prof. Master computer room."

"Will you join us in the Warden's office? There are decisions to reach, work to be done."

"Prof, I've been working! Am working."

"I'm sure you have. I've explained to the others that the programming of the ballistic computer is so very delicate in this operation that you must check it personally. Nevertheless some of our colleagues feel that the Minister of Defense should be present during these discussions. So, when you reach a point where you feel you can turn it over to your assistant--Mike is his name, is it not?--will you please--"

"I scan it. Okay, will be up."

"Very well, Manuel."

Mike said, "I could hear thirteen people in the background. Doubletalk, Man."

"I got it. Better go up and see what huhu. You don't need me?"

"Man, I hope you will stay close to a phone."

"Will. Keep an ear on Warden's office. But will punch in if elsewhere. See you, cobber."

Found entire government in Warden's office, both real Cabinet and make-weights--and soon spotted trouble, bloke called Howard Wright. A ministry had been whomped up for him: "Liaison for Arts, Sciences, and Professions"--buttonsorting. Was sop to Novylen because Cabinet was topheavy with L-City comrades, and a sop to Wright because he had made himself leader of a Congress group long on talk, short on action. Prof's purpose was to short him out--but sometimes Prof was too subtle; some people talk better if they breathe vacuum.

Prof asked me to brief Cabinet on military situation. Which I did--my way. "I see Finn is here. Let's have him tell where we stand in warrens."

Wright spoke up. "General Nielsen has already done so, no need to repeat. We want to hear from you."

Blinked at that. "Prof-- Excuse me. Gospodin President. Do I understand that a Defense Ministry report has been made to Cabinet in my absence?"

Wright said, "Why not? You weren't on hand."

Prof grabbed it. He could see I was stretched too tight. Hadn't slept much for three days, hadn't been so tired since left Earthside. "Order," he said mildly. "Gospodin Minister for Professional Liaison, please address your comments through me. Gospodin Minister for Defense, let me correct that. There have been no reports to the Cabinet concerning your ministry for the reason that the Cabinet did not convene until you arrived. General Nielsen answered some informal questions informally. Perhaps this should not have been done. If you feel so, I will attempt to repair it."

"No harm done, I guess. Finn talked to you a half hour ago. Anything new since?"

"No, Mannie."

"Okay. Guess what you want to hear is off-Luna situation. You've been watching so you know first bombardment went off well. Still going on, some, as we're hitting their space defense HQ every twenty minutes. Will continue till thirteen hundred, then at twenty-one hundred we hit China and India, plus minor targets. Then busy till four hours past midnight with Africa and Europe, skip three hours, dose Brasil and company, wait three hours and start over. Unless something breaks. But meantime we have problems here. Finn, we should evacuate Tycho Under."

"Just a moment!" Wright had hand up. "I have questions." Spoke to Prof, not to me.

"One moment. Has the Defense Minister finished?"

Wyoh was seated toward back. We had swapped smiles, but was all--kept it so around Cabinet and Congress; had been rumbles that two from same family should not be in Cabinet. Now she shook head, warning of something. I said, "Is all conceniing bombardment. Questions about it?"

"Are your questions concerned with the bombardment, Gospodin Wright?"

"They certainly are, Gospodin President." Wright stood up, looked at me. "As you know, I represent the intellectual groups in the Free State and, if I may say so, their opinions are most important in public affairs. I think it is only proper that--"

"Moment," I said. "Thought you represented Eighth Novylen District?"

"Gospodin President! Am I to be permitted to put my questions? Or not?"

"He wasn't asking question, was making speech. And I'm tired and want to go to bed."

Prof said gently, "We are all tired, Manuel. But your point is well taken. Congressman, you represent only your district. As a member of the government you have been assigned certain duties in connection with certain professions."

"It comes to the same thing."

"Not quite. Please state your question."

"Uh... very well, I shall! Is Field Marshal Davis aware that his bombardment plan has gone wrong completely and that thousands of lives have been pointlessly destroyed? And is he aware of the extremely serious view taken of this by the intelligentsia of this Republic? And can he explain why this rash--I repeat, rash!--bombardment was undertaken without consultation? And is he now prepared to modify his plans, or is he going blindly ahead? And is it true as charged that our missiles were of the nuclear sort outlawed by all civilized nations? And how does he expect Luna Free State ever to be welcomed into the councils of civilized nations in view of such actions?"