Terry Pratchett: The Bromeliad 2 - Diggers

"No."

" 'Space suit'?"

"No." "It is very cold in space."

"Well, couldn't we sort of jump around a bit to keep warm?" said Masklin desperately. "I think you do not appreciate what it is that space contains."

"What's that, then?"

"Nothing. It contains nothing. And everything. But there is very little everything and more nothing than you could imagine."

"It's still worth a try, though, isn't it?"

"What you are proposing is an extremely unwise endeavor, " said the Thing.

"Yes, but, you see," said Masklin firmly, "if I don't try, then it'salways going to be like this. We're always going to escape, and findsomewhere new, and just when we're getting the hang of it all, we'll haveto go again. Sooner or later we must find somewhere that we can knowreally belongs to us. Dorcas is right. Humans get everywhere. Anyway, youwere the one who told me that our home was ... up there somewhere."

"This is not the right time. You are ill-prepared."

Masklin clenched his fists. "I'll never be well prepared! I was born ina hole, Thing! A muddy hole in the ground! How can I ever be wellprepared for anything? That's what being alive is, Thing! It's beingbadly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!

You only get one chance and then you die and they don't let you go aroundagain after you've got the hang of it! Do you understand, Thing! So we'lltry it now! I order you to help! You're a machine and you must do whatyou're told!"

The lights formed a spiral.

"You 're learning fast," said the Thing.

III. And in a voice like Thunder, the GreatMasklin said unto the Thing, Now is the Time to goback to our Home in the Sky; IV. Or we will Forever be Running from Place toPlace.

V. But none must know what I intend, or they willsay, Ridiculous, Why go to the Sky when we HaveProblems Right here?

VI. Because that is how People are.

-From the Book of Nome, Quarries II, v. III-VI Gurder and Angalo were having a blazing row when Masklin got back.

He didn't try to interrupt. He just put the Thing down on the floor andsat down next to it, and watched them.

Funny how people needed to argue. The whole secret was not to listen towhat the other person was saying, Masklin had noticed.

Gurder and Angalo had really got the hang of that. The trouble was thatneither of them was entirely certain he was right, and the funny thingwas a that people who weren't entirely certain they were right alwaysargued much louder than other people, as if the main person they weretrying to convince was themselves. Gurder was not certain, not entirelycertain, that Arnold Bros. (est. 1905) really existed, and Angalo wasn'tentirely certain that he didn't.

Eventually Angalo noticed Masklin.

"You tell him, Masklin," he said. "He wants to go and find GrandsonRichard, 39!"

"Do you? Where do you think we should look?" Masklin asked Gurder.

"The airport," said Gurder. "You know that. Jetting. In a jet. That'swhat he'll do."

"But we know the airport!" said Angalo. "I've been right up to the fence several times! Humans go in and out of it all day! Grandson Richard, 39, looks just like them! He could have gone already. He could be in thejuice by now! You can't believe words that just drop out of the sky!" Heturned to Masklin again. "Masklin's a steady lad," he said, "he'll tellyou. You tell him, Masklin," he said. "You listen to him, Gurder. Hethinks about things, Masklin does. At a time like this-"

"Let's go to the airport," said Masklin.

"There," said Angalo, "I told you, Masklin isn't the kind of nome-what?"

"Let's go to the airport and watch."

Angalo's mouth opened and shut silently.

"But ... but ..." he managed.

"It must be worth a try," said Masklin.

"But it's all just a coincidence!" said Angalo.

Masklin shrugged. "Then we'll come back. I'm not suggesting we all go. Just a few of us."

"But supposing something happens while we're gone?"

"It'll happen anyway, then. There's thousands of us. Getting people to the old barn won't be difficult, if we need to do it. It's not like the Long Drive." Angalo hesitated.

"Then I'll go," he said. "Just to prove to you how ... how superstitious you're being." "Good," said Masklin.

"Provided Gurder comes, of course," Angalo added.

"What?" said Gurder.

"Well, you are the Abbot," said Angalo sarcastically. "If we're going to talk to Grandson Richard, 39, then it'd better be you. I mean, he probably won't want to listen to anyone else."

"Aha!" shouted Gurder. "You think I won't come! It'd be worth it just to see your face-" "That's settled, then," said Masklin calmly. "And now, I think we'd better see about keeping a special watch on the road. And some teams had better go to the old barn. And it would be a good idea to see what people can carry. Just in case, you know." Grimma was waiting for him outside. She didn't look happy.

"I know you," she said. "I know the kind of expression you have whenyou're getting people to do things they don't want to do. What are youplanning?"

They strolled into the shadow of a rusting sheet of corrugated iron.

Masklin occasionally squinted upward. This morning he'd thought the skywas just a blue thing with clouds. Now it was something that was fullof words and invisible pictures and machines whizzing around. Why was itthat the more you found out, the less you really knew?

Eventually he said, "I can't tell you. I'm not quite sure myself."

"It's to do with the Thing, isn't it?"

"Yes. Look, if I'm away for, er, a little bit longer than-"

She stuck her hands on her hips. "I'm not stupid, you know," she said.

"Orange-colored juice, indeed! I've read nearly every book we broughtout of the Store. Florida is a ... a place. Just like the quarry.

Probably even bigger. And it's a long way away. You have to go across alot of water to get there."

"I think it might even be further away than we came on the Long Drive," said Masklin quietly. "I know, because one day when we went to look atthe airport I saw water on the other side, by the road. It looked asthough it went on forever."

"I told you," said Grimma smugly. "It was probably an ocean."

"There was a sign by it," said Masklin. "Can't remember everything on it.

I'm not as good at the reading as you. One of the words was ... res-ervoir, I think."

"There you are, then."

"But it must be worth a try." Masklin scowled. "There's only one placewhere we can ever be safe, and that's where we belong," he said.

"Otherwise we'll always have to keep running away."

"Well, I don't like it," said Grimma.

"But you said you didn't like running away," said Masklin. "There isn'tan alternative, is there? Let me just try something. If it doesn't work, then we'll come back."

"But supposing something goes wrong? Supposing you don't come back?

I'll ..." Grimma hesitated.

"Yes?" said Masklin hopefully.

"I'll have a terrible job explaining things to people," she saidfirmly. "It's a silly idea. I don't want to have anything to do with it."

"Oh." Masklin looked disappointed but defiant. "Well, I'm going to tryanyway. Sorry."

V. And he said, What are these frogs of which you speak?

VI. And she said, You wouldn't understand.

VII. And he said, You are right.

-From the Book of Nome, Strange Frogs I, v. V-VII There was a busy night ...

It would be a journey of several hours to the barn. Parties went on tomark the path and generally prepare the way, besides watching out forfoxes. Not that they were often seen, these days; a fox might be quitehappy to attack a solitary nome, but thirty well-armed, enthusiastichunters were a different proposition, and it would be a very stupid foxindeed that even showed an interest. The few that did live near the quarry tended to wander off hurriedly in the opposite direction wheneverthey saw a nome. They'd learned that nomes meant trouble.