Terry Pratchett - The Bromeliad 2 - Diggers

He gave them a bright smile, which faded like a sunset.

"There's no food?" he said.

"Even less than that," said a nome. "If you've got some bread, we couldhave a snow sandwich."

Sacco thought about this.

"There's the rabbits," he said. "There were rabbits in the field."

"And in the dark," said Dorcas, who appeared to have something on hismind.

"Well, yes," admitted Sacco.

"And with that fox hanging about," said Nooty.

Another proverb floated up in Grimma's mind.

"Needs must," she said, "when the Devil drives."

They looked at her in the flickering light of the matches.

"Who's he?" said Nooty.

"Some sort of horrible person that lives under the ground in a hot place, I think," said Grimma.

"Like the boiler room in the Store?"

"I suppose so."

"And what sort of vehicle does he drive?" said Sacco, looking interested.

"It just means that sometimes you're forced to do things," said Grimma testily. "I don't think he actually drives anything."

"Well, no. There wouldn't be the room down there, for one thing."

Dorcas coughed. He seemed to be upset about something. Well, everyone was upset, but he was even more upset.

"All right," he said quietly.

Something about the way he said it made them pay attention.

"You'd all better come with me," he went on. "Believe me, I'd rather you didn't have to."

"Where to?" said Grimma.

"The old sheds. The ones by the cliff," said Dorcas.

"But they're all tumbled down. And you said they were very dangerous."

"Oh, they are. They are. There's piles of junk and stuff in cans the children shouldn't touch and stuff like that."

He twiddled his beard nervously.

"But," he said, "there's something else. Something I've been sort of working on, sort of." He looked her in the eye. "Something of mine," he said. "The most marvellous thing I've ever seen. Even better than frogs in a flower."

Then he coughed. "Anyway, there's plenty of room in there," he said. "The floors are just earth, er, but the sheds are big and there are lots of places, er, to hide."

A snore from the human shook the office.

"Besides, I don't like being so close to that thing," he added.

There was a general murmur of agreement about this. "Had you thought about what you're going to do with it?" said Dorcas.

"Some people wanted to kill it, but I don't think that's a good idea," said Grimma. "I think the other humans would get really upset about it."

"Besides, it doesn't seem right," said Dorcas.

"I know what you mean."

"So ... what shall we do with it?"

Grimma glared at the huge face. Every pore, every hair, was huge. It was strange to think that if there were creatures smaller than nomes, little people perhaps the size of ants, her own face might look likethat. If you looked at it philosophically, the whole thing about big andsmall was just a matter of size.

"We'll leave it," she said. "But ... is there any paper here?"

"Loads of it on the desk," said Nooty.

"Go and fetch some, please. Dorcas, you've always got something to write with, haven't you?"

Dorcas fumbled in his pockets until he found a stub of pencil lead.

"Don't waste it," he said. "Don't know if I'll ever get any more."

Eventually Nooty came back towing a yellowing sheet of paper. At the top of it, in heavy black lettering, were the words BLACKBURY SAND AND GRAVEL INC. Below that was the word INVOICE.

Grimma thought for a while, and then licked the stub and, in big letters, started to write. "What are you doing?" said Dorcas. "Trying to communicate," said Grimma. She carefully traced another word, pressing quite hard.

"I've always thought it might be worth trying," said Dorcas. "But is this the right time?"

"Yes," said Grimma. She finished the last word.

"What do you think?" she said, handing Dorcas the pencil lead.

The writing was a bit jagged where she had pressed hard, and her grasp of grammar and writing wasn't as good as her skill at reading, but it was clear enough.

"I would have done it differently," said Dorcas, reading it. "Perhaps you would, but this is the way I've done it."

"Yes." Dorcas put his head on one side. "Well, it's definitely a communication. You can't get much more communicating than that. Yes." Grimma tried to sound cheerful. "And now," she said, "Let's see this shed of yours."

Two minutes later the office shed was empty of nomes. The human snored on the floor, one hand outstretched. There was a piece of paper in it now.

It Said: BLACKBURY SAND AND GRAVEL INC.

It said: INVOICE.

It said: We Could of Kiled You. LEAV US ALONE.

Now it was quite light outside, and the snow had stopped.

"They'll see our tracks," said Sacco. "Even humans will notice this many tracks." "It doesn't matter," said Dorcas. "Just get everyone into the oldsheds."

"Are you sure, Dorcas?" said Grimma. "Are you really sure this is a good idea?"

"No."

They joined the stream of nomes hurrying through a crack in the crumbling corrugated metal and entered the vast, echoing chamber of the shed.

Grimma looked around her. Rust and time had eaten large holes in the walls and ceiling. Old cans and coils of wire were stacked willy-nilly in the corners, along with odd-shaped bits of metal and jam jars with nails in them. Everything stank of oil.

"What's the part we ought to know about?" she said.

Dorcas pointed to the shadows at the far end of the shed, where she could just make out something big and indistinct.

"It just looks like ... some sort of big cloth ..." she said.

"It's, um, underneath it. Is everyone in?" Dorcas cupped his hands around his mouth. "Is everyone in?" he shouted. He turned to Nooty. "I need to know where everyone is," he said. "I don't want anyone to be frightened, but I don't want unnecessary people getting in the way."

"Unnecessary for what?" said Grimma, but he ignored her.

"Sacco, you take some of the lads and get those things we put in the hedge," said Dorcas. "We'll definitely need the battery and I'm really not certain how much fuel there is." "Dorcas! What is it?" said Grimma, tapping her foot.

Dorcas got like this sometimes, she knew. When he was thinking about machines or things he could do with his hands, he started to ignore people. His voice changed too. He gave her a long, slow look as if he were seeing her for the first time. Then he looked down at his feet.

"You'd better, er, come and see," he said. "I shall need you to explain things to everyone. You're so much better at that sort of thing." Grimma followed him across the chilly floor as more nomes filed into the shed and huddled apprehensively along the walls.

He led her under the shadow of the tarp, which formed a sort of big, dusty cave.

A tire like a truck's loomed up a little way away in the gloom, but it was far more knobby than any she had seen. "Oh. It's just a truck," she said, uncertainly. "You've got a truck in here, have you?" "No," said Dorcas. "It's a Cat."

Grimma's response was impressive. She spun around in an effort to see in every direction at once. "Where? Where?" she screamed. "You idiot! You brought us where there's a caty Dorcas said nothing. He just pointed upward.

Grimma looked up. And then looked up some more. Into the mouth of the Cat.

IV. Dorcas said, This is the Cat, Great Beast withteeth.

V. Needs Must. If we are driven, let us Drive.

-From the Book of Nome, Cat II, v. IV-V

Sometimes words need music too. Sometimes the descriptions are notenough. Books should be written with soundtracks, like films.

Something deep, on an organ, perhaps.

Grimma stared. Soundtrack on: Deedle-dah-DEEdleDAHda-dum It can't really be alive, she thought desperately. It's not really aboutto bite me. Dorcas wouldn't have brought me in here if he knew there wasa monster about to bite me. I'm not going to be frightened. I'm notfrightened at all. I am a thinking nome and I'm not frightened'.