Isaac Asimov - The Early Asimov. Volume 2

Then, caught helplessly, he heard the Dispatcher's bell. It was time for his own train to be on its way. Duty called! With a superhuman effort, he inched toward the door, but it closed before he could get there, and the train commenced to move.

It occurred to Cullen that he had missed a report for the first time, and he said, 'Damn!' After the train had travelled some fifty feet, it came to him that they were going the wrong way, and this time he said nothing.

After all, what was there to say - even in the purest of Gaelic.

How could a train go the wrong way at Flatbush Ave. There were no further tracks. There was no further tunnel. There was a bumper-stop to prevent eccentric motormen from trying to bore one. It was absurd. Even the Big Deal couldn't do it.

But there they were!

There were stations in this new tunnel, too - cute little small ones just large enough for one car. But that was all right, because only one car was travelling. The rest had somehow become detached, presumably to make the routine trip to Bronx Park.

There were maybe a dozen stations on the line - with curious names. Cullen noticed only a few, because he found it difficult to keep his eyes from going out of focus. One was Archangel Boulevard; another Seraph Road; still another Cherub Plaza.

And then, the train slid into a monster station, that looked uncommonly like a cave, and stopped. It was huge, about three hundred feet deep and almost spherical. The tracks ran to the exact center without trusses, and the platform at its side likewise rested comfortably upon air.

The conductor was the only person left in the car, the rest having mostly gotten off at Hosannah Square. He hung limply from the porcelain hand-grip, staring fixedly at a lip-stick advertisement. The door of the motorman's cabin opened and the little man came out. He glanced at Cullen, turned away, then whirled back.

'Hey,' he said, 'who are you?'

Cullen rotated slowly, still clutching the hand-grip. 'Only the conductor. Don't mind me. I'm quitting anyway. I don't like the work.'

'Oh dear, dear, this is unexpected.' The little man waggled his head and tch-tched. 'I'm Mr. Crumley,' he explained. 'I steal things. People mostly. Sometimes subway cars, - but they're such big, clumsy things, don't you think?'

'Mister,' groaned Cullen. 'I quit thinking two hours ago. It didn't get me anywhere. Who are you, anyway?'

'I told you - I'm Mr. Crumley. I'm practicing to be a god.'

'A gob?' said Cullen. 'You mean a sailor?'

'Dear, no,' frowned Mr. Crumley. 'I said, "god," as in Jehovah. Look!' He pointed out the window to the wall of the cave. Where his finger pointed, the rock billowed and rose. He moved his finger and there was a near ridge of rock describing a reversed, lower case 'h.'

That's my symbol,' said Crumley modestly. 'Mystic, isn't it? But that's nothing. Wait till I really get things organized. Dear, dear, will I give them miracles!'

Cullen's head swivelled between the raised-rock symbol and the simpering Mr. Crumley, until he began to get dizzy, and then he stopped.

'Listen,' he demanded hoarsely. 'How did you get that car out of Flatbush Avenue? Where did that tunnel come from? Are some of them foreigners -'

'Oh, my, no!' answered Mr. Crumley. 'I made that myself and willed it so that no one would notice. It was quite difficult. It just wears the ectoplasm right out of me. Miracles with people mixed up in it are much harder than the other kind, because you have to fight their wills. Unless you have lots of Believers, you can't do it.- Now that I've got over a hundred thousand, I can do it, but there was a time,' he shook his head reminiscently, 'when I couldn't even have levitated a baby - or healed a leper. Oh, well, we're wasting time. We ought to be at the nearest factory.'

Cullen brightened. 'Factory' was more prosaic. 'I once had a brother,' he said, 'who worked in a sweater factory, but-'

'Oh, goodness, Mr. Cullen. I'm referring to my Believers' Factories. I have to educate people to believe in me; don't I, and preaching is such slow work. I believe in mass production. Some day I intend to be called the Henry Ford of Utopia, Why, I've got twelve Factories in Brooklyn alone and when I manufacture enough Believers, I'll just cover the world with them.'

He sighed, 'Gracious me, if I only had enough Believers. I've got to have a million before I can let things progress by themselves and until then I have to attend to every detail myself. It is so boring! I even have to keep reminding my Believers who I am - even the Disciples. Incidentally, Cullen, - I read your mind, by the way, so that's how I know your name -you want to be a Believer, of course.'

'Well, now,' said Cullen nervously.

'Oh, come now. Some gods would have been angry at your intrusion and done away with you,' he snapped his fingers, 'like that. Not I, though, because I think killing people is messy and inconsiderate. Just the same, you'll have to be a Believer.'

Now Patrick Cullen was an intelligent Irishman. That is to say, he admitted the existence of banshees, leprechauns and the Little Folk, and kept an open mind on poltergeists, werewolves, vampires and such-like foreign trash. At mere super-naturalities, he was too well-educated to sneer. Still, Cullen did not intend to compromise his religion. His theology was weak, but for a mortal to claim godship smacked of heresy, not to say sacrilege and blasphemy, even to him.

'You're a faker,' he cried boldly, 'and you're headed straight for Hell the way you're going.'

Mr. Crumley clicked his tongue, 'What terrible language you use. And so unnecessary! Of course you Believe in me.'

'Oh, yeah?'

'Well, then, if you are stubborn, I'll pass a minor miracle. It's inconvenient, but now,' he made vague motions with his left hand, 'you Believe in me.'

'Certainly,' said Cullen, hurt. 'I always did. How do I go about worshipping you? I want to do this properly.'

'Just Believe in me, and that's enough. Now you must go to the factories and then we'll send you back home - they'll never know you were gone - and you can live your life like a Believer.'

The conductor smiled ecstatically, 'Oh, happy life! I want to go to the factories.'

'Of course you would,' replied Mr. Crumley. 'You'd be a fine Crumleyite otherwise, wouldn't you? Come!' He pointed at the door of the car, and the door slid open. They walked out and Crumley kept on pointing. Rock faded away in front, and bit down again behind. Through the wall Cullen walked, following that little figure who was his god.

That was a god, thought Cullen. Any god that could do that was one hell of a damn good god to believe in.

And then he was at the factory - in another cave, only smaller. Mr. Crumley seemed to like caves.

Cullen didn't pay much attention to his surroundings. He couldn't see much anyway on account of the faint violet mist that blurred his vision. He got the impression of a slowly-moving conveyor belt, with men stationed at intervals along it. Disciples, he thought. And the parts being machined on that belt were probably non-Believers, or such low trash.

There was a man watching him, smiling. A Disciple, Cullen thought, and quite naturally made the sign to him. He had never made it before, but it was easy. The Disciple replied in kind.

'He told me you were coming,' said the Disciple. 'He made a special miracle for you, he said. That's quite a distinction. Do you want me to show you around the belt?'

'You bet.'

'Well, this is Factory One. It's the nerve center of all the factories of the country. The others give preliminary treatment only; and make only Believers. We make Disciples.'

Oh, boy, Disciples! 'Am I going to be a Disciple?' asked Cullen eagerly.

'After being miraculated by him. Of course! You're a somebody, you know. There are only five other people he ever took personal charge of.'