Филип Фармер - The Lovers

He finally found the key but had trouble inserting it. He was breathing hard by the time he succeeded in opening the door. He almost pushed Jeannette through. She had taken her mask off.

'Wait, Hal,' she said, leaning her weight against his. 'Haven't you forgotten something?'

'Oh, Forerunner! What could it be? Something serious?'

'No. I only thought,' and she smiled and then lowered her lids, 'that it was the Terran custom for men to carry their brides across the threshold. That is what my father told me.'

His jaw dropped. Bride! She was certainly taking a lot for granted!

He couldn't take time to argue. Without a word, he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the apartment. There he put her down and said, 'Back as soon as possible . If anybody knocks or tries to get in, hide in that special chamber I had the wog carpenter build for you inside our closet. Don't make a sound or come out until you're sure it's me.'

She suddenly put her arms around him and kissed him.

'Maw sheh, maw gwah, maw fooh.'

Things were going too fast. He didn't say a word or even return her kiss. Vaguely he felt that her words, applied to him, were somewhat ridiculous. If he translated her degenerate French correctly, she had called him her dear, her big strong man.

Turning, he closed the door but not so quickly that he did not see the hall light shine on a white face haloed blackly by a hood. A red mouth stained the whiteness.

He shook. He had a feeling that Jeannette was not going to be the frigid mate so much admired, officially, by the Sturch.

Hal was an hour late returning home from the Gabriel because the Sandalphon asked for more details about the prophecy he had made concerning Sigmen. Then, Hal had to dictate his report on the day's espionage. Afterward, he ordered a sailor to pilot his gig back to the apartment. While he was walking toward the launching rack, he met Pornsen.

'Shalom, abba,' Hal said.

He smiled and rubbed his knuckles against the raised lamedh on the shield.

The gapt's left shoulder, always low, sagged even more, as if it were a flag dipping in surrender. If there were any whip cuts to be given, they would be struck by Yarrow.

Hal puffed out his chest and started to walk on, but Pornsen said, 'Just a minute, son. Are you going back to the city?'

'Shib.'

'Shib. I'll ride back with you. I have an apartment in the same building. On the third floor, right opposite Fobo's.'

Hal opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. It was Pornsen's turn to smile. He turned and led the way. Hal followed with tight lips. Had the gapt trailed him and seen his meeting with Jeannette? No. If he had, he would have had Hal arrested at once.

The gapt had one distinguishing feature: a small mind. He knew his presence would annoy Hal and that living in the same building with him would poison Hal's joy at being free from surveillance.

Under his breath Hal quoted an old proverb: 'A gapt's teeth never let loose.'

The sailor was waiting by the gig. They all got in and dropped silently into the night.

At the apartment building, Hal strode into the doorway ahead of Pornsen. He felt a slight glow of satisfaction at thus breaking etiquette and expressing his contempt for the man.

Before opening his door, he paused. The guardian angel passed silently behind him. Hal, struck with a devilish thought, called out, 'Abba.'

Pornsen turned.

'What?'

'Would you care to inspect my rooms and see if I'm hiding a woman in there?'

The little man purpled. He closed his eyes and swayed, dizzy with sheer fury. When he opened them, he shouted, 'Yarrow! If ever I saw an unreal personality, you're it! I don't care how you stand with the hierarchy! I think you're – you're – just not simply shib\ You've changed. You used to be so humble, so obedient. Now, you're arrogant.'

Hal said, evenly at first, his voice rising as he continued, 'It wasn't so long ago that you described me as unruly from the day I was born. Suddenly, it seems that I am an example of splendid behavior, one the Sturch may point to with – pardon the cliche – pride. I suggest that I have always behaved as well as could be expected. I suggest that you were and are a picayunish, malicious, nasty, bird-brained pimple on the ass of the Sturch and that you ought to be squeezed until you pop!'

Hal stopped shouting because he was breathing so hard. His heart was hammering; his ears, roaring; his sight, getting dim.

Pornsen backed away, his hands held out before him.

'Hal Yarrow! Hal Yarrow! Control yourself! Forerunner, how you must hate me! And all these years I thought you loved me, that I was your beloved gapt and you were my beloved ward. But you hated me. Why?'

The roaring faded away. Hal's vision cleared.

'Are you serious?'

'Of course! I never dreamed, dreamed! Anything that I ever did to you was for you; when I punished you, my heart broke. But I drove myself to it by reminding myself that it was for your good.'

Hal laughed and laughed while Pornsen ran down the hall and disappeared into his apartment with a single white-faced look.

Weakly, shaking, Hal leaned against the doorway. This was the most unexpected thing of all. He had been absolutely certain that Pornsen loathed him as a contrary and unnatural monster and that he took a bitter delight in humiliating and whipping him.

Hal shook his head. Surely, the gapt was scared and was trying to justify himself.

He unlocked the door and entered. Around and around in his head flew the thought that the courage to speak out against Pornsen had come from Jeannette. Without her, he was nothing, a resentful but scared rabbit. A few hours with her had enabled him to overcome many years of rigid discipline.

He clicked on the front room lights. Looking beyond into the dining room, he could see the closed kitchen door. The rattling of pots came through it. He sniffed deeply.

Steak!

The pleasure was replaced by a frown. He'd told her to hide until he returned. What if he had been a wog or an Uzzite?

When the door swung open, the hinges squeaked. Jeannette's back was to him. At the first protest of unoiled iron, she whirled. The spatula in her hand dropped; the other hand flew to her open mouth.

The angry words on his lips died. If she were to be scolded now, she would probably break out in embarrassing tears.

'Maw choo! You startled me!'

He grunted and went by her to lift the lids on the pots.

'You see,' she said, her voice trembling as if she divined his anger and were defending herself. 'I have lived such a life, being afraid of getting caught, that anything sudden scares me. I am always ready to run.'

'How those wogs fooled me!' Hal said sourly. 'I thought they were so kind and gentle.'

She glanced at him out of the side of her large eyes. Her color had come back; her red lips smiled.

'Oh, they weren't so bad. They really were kind. They gave me everything I wanted, except my freedom. They were afraid I'd make my way back to my sisters.'

'What did they care?'

'Oh, they thought there might be some males of my race left in the jungle and that I might give them children. They are terribly frightened of my race becoming numerous and strong again and making war on them. They do not like war.'

'They are strange beings,' he said. 'But we cannot expect to understand those who do not know the reality of the Forerunner. Moreover, they are closer to the insect than to man.'

'Being a man does not necessarily mean being better,' Jeannette said with a tinge of asperity.

'All God's creatures have their proper place in the universe,' he replied. 'But man's place is everywhere and every when. He can occupy any position in space and can travel in any direction in time. And if he must dispossess a creature to gain that place or time, he is doing only what is right.'