Robert Asprin - Dragons Luck

“Sure thing. Anyway, we should be going. See you at the opening ceremonies.”

Tink stood and gathered up the others. Drake was the last to follow, finishing his drink and stopping just briefly for a parting comment to Griffen.

“Interesting choice at the bookstore by the way,” Drake said.

As soon as the changelings had left, the bartender noticed that Griffen’s drink was empty. Of course it had been empty for some time, but Griffen made no comment as he got it refilled. He did reach down to his bags and pull out the book he had hastily purchased earlier. He laughed softly to himself.

“Figures,” he said.

A copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Forgetthe one about the rabbi and a priest. If there wasn’t a joke that starts, “Two fairies walk into a bar,” there should have been.

That was the thought that went through Griffen’s head when the doors to the Irish pub swung open and two of the changelings came in. So he was failing to suppress a smile when they approached him, which was probably not the best of facial expressions. The younger of the two practically bounced up and down, a foolish grin spreading over her face. Again, he was reminded of a pack of puppies, and was glad that this time there were only the two.

The younger-appearing one, who was all smiles and giddy energy at being greeted with a smile, was called Robin. She was probably the most attractive of the bunch, though she looked young for her seeming age. Almost too young for Griffen’s tastes, but she did have a certain allure about her. Another bad joke popped into his head, something about making the puppy’s tail wag.

Sometimes Griffen just couldn’t help himself.

The other one had introduced himself as Hobb. He was one of the more sedate and inward-directed in the group. He still smiled broadly at Griffen, but where Robin threw her arms around Griffen and hugged him before he could react, Hobb seemed hesitant even to shake his hand. Nervous, like he was afraid of being burned.

Robin and Hobb very much had that couple feeling. Though from the way Robin was squeezing Griffen and pressing her slender curves against him, he had to assume it was an open couple. Especially since Hobb showed no sign of jealousy at all. Actually, except for the smiles, Griffen found himself having a hard time reading the changelings. As if their emotions and thoughts were different from his experience, subtly… alien.

“Pull up a couple of chairs,” Griffen said, prying Robin off him.

He half suspected she’d jump in his lap if a chair wasn’t available.

“It’s good to see you here again, Mr. McCandles,” Hobb said.

The young man pulled up a couple of spare chairs and held one out for Robin. She hopped into it and leaned back to give him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled, and the smile wasn’t puppyish at all, before taking his own seat. Definitely the couple vibe, Griffen thought again.

“How many times do I have to tell people? You can call me Griffen,” Griffen said.

“I knew a gryphon once,” Robin said.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, but he was just a chick. Wings had barely grown in at all,” she said.

Griffen stared at the fairly spacey young woman. It didn’t help that her voice was soft and childlike, too. It was a Marilyn Monroe-esque voice. For the life of him Griffen didn’t know how to respond to such a comment.

Hobb noticed and chuckled to himself. He put a hand on Robin’s shoulder.

“I told you, a baby gryphon is called a cub, not a chick,” he said.

“But they hatch from eggs!” she protested.

“Then how come no one has ever heard of a gryphon omelet?” Griffen asked.

Forget sanity. He could banter with the best of them. The two changelings grinned at him sunnily.

“ ’Cause a mama gryphon is a real menace, of course,” Hobb said.

“But you should open a restaurant and cook up some. Griffen’s omelets,” Robin said.

“Oh, please. I’m busy enough.” Griffen rolled his eyes, and the girl exploded into giggles.

A couple of drunk tourists sitting a few seats away looked up. One of them, a large man with too much belly, pulled himself out of his seat and began to stagger over their way. Griffen was tracking him carefully, and also noticed that the fat guy had caught Hobb’s attention. Robin seemed oblivious.

“Shure have a pretty laugsh there,” the drunk slurred.

Robin looked up and sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Not now!” she said sharply.

“Oh, come on, babycakesh. How ’bout a kish?”

“You really hit that one hard, that’s the hammiest line I’ve heard in a long time,” Hobb said.

Griffen half expected the drunk to turn to Hobb and try to start a fight. That seemed to be the usual pattern with such incidents. Instead, he seemed totally fixated on Robin.

“Oh, fine!” she said.

Griffen was curious now. He watched as the young changeling pressed two fingers to her lips, then pressed them to the drunk’s lips. He clumsily kissed her fingertips, and a hand started to reach out for her wrist. Only to stop in mid-motion as his eyes went glassy.

“Look at your friend,” Robin said.

He did, lips still pressed to her fingers. She leaned up and whispered in his ear, voice soft and sultry.

“Isn’t he haaandsome,” she said.

The man nodded, and pulled himself away from Robin. The three watched as he staggered over to his friend and sat back down. Griffen was about to ask what that was all about when he got his answer.

“What did you say to me!” the other drunk said.

“Come ’ere. You knowsh you wantsh it,” the drunk who had harassed Robin said.

The second drunk was on his feet and backing hastily toward the door. The whole bar was now watching as his friend pursued him, pursing his lips for a kiss. The doors slammed behind them, and the bartender started laughing. Even for the Quarter, that was a good one.

Robin turned back to Griffen, all smiles again.

“Sorry, Mr. Griffen. Talking to a real live dragon is sooo exciting. So I leak a little.”

Griffen held back his first response, and his second. He was trying to phrase his third when she reached out and slapped him on the shoulder.

“Magic, silly! I do attraction magic too well, and sometimes it backfires.”

She glanced over at the door, where the two had departed, and shrugged.

“It’ll wear off. Normally it takes more work, unless a spark is already there. Closet case,” she said.

Griffen shook his head.

“And you, Hobb? You were one of those who didn’t jump on the chance to show off when we first met.”

“Uh… my skills aren’t really of the public show-and-tell variety,” he said, and seemed to draw inward.

“Hobbykins isn’t really a people person. We didn’t really come here looking for you, it’s just that Bourbon Street was too hustle and bustle for him,” Robin said.

“Bourbon Street is too hustle and bustle for me. Don’t worry about it,” Griffen said.

Hobb looked at him gratefully and straightened up again. Griffen decided it would be a good time to ask something that had been weighing on his mind.

“I’ve been wondering, what do you hope to get out of this conclave? I mean, I sort of understood what you as a group expect, but personally. What does it do for you?” Griffen asked.

“For me… I have reason to want to explore some of the human magic users. Especially the healers. This is a good place to make contacts,” Hobb said.

“And I just want to meet everyone I can! I hear those garou are just too studly for words.”

Griffen and Hobb exchanged a glance. Robin put an elbow into both of their ribs.

“Hey, you two. A fae has to be true to her nature! Men!!” she said.