Stephen Baxter - Transcendent

But that sense of pride quickly dissipated when I saw that this jewel-like structure of knowledge, this “ultimate truth,” was ancient. The total understanding dreamed of by the physicists of my time, the limits of their imagination, had not only been achieved, but long ago — and it had been overshadowed by deeper mysteries yet.

But I wasn’t here for physics, but to confront mysteries of the human heart — and the superhuman. Reluctantly I pulled away. I tried to remember, to hold on to some glimmering of this ultimate understanding, but already it was melting like a snowflake cupped in my hand, its beautiful symmetries and unity lost. Already I was forgetting.

Alia said gently, “Michael, I think you’re ready now. It’s time.”

“Time for what?”

“To meet the undying.”

Dread gathered in my heart. But you have a duty, I told myself dryly. You asked for this, Poole.

“Let’s get it over with.”

“Hello, Michael Poole. I regret I was born too late to meet your most illustrious ancestor…”

This was Leropa, then. The undying spoke as if from shadows. I didn’t want to see her any more clearly.

“I don’t understand how I’m talking to you,” I said. “Or Alia, come to that. We’re all part of the Transcendence — aren’t we?”

“The Transcendence is a mind, Michael, but it is not a human mind. There is no reason why a mind must have a single pole of consciousness — as your pole of awareness feels like a mote lodged forever behind your eyes.”

But, I thought uneasily, even in my time minds aren’t so simple. Maybe we three are like multiple personalities screaming at each other inside the head of a schizophrenic.

“Or perhaps we are emblems,” Leropa said now. “We stand for certain traits of the Transcendence, as it tries to resolve the internal dilemma over the Redemption, which Alia so acutely identified.”

“In which case I might be no more real than a character in a Platonic dialogue? Charming. What traits?”

“I am the purpose of the Transcendence. Its will. And you, Michael, are its conscience. We are here to debate the Redemption.”

And to understand the Redemption, she said, I had to understand love. Again I felt that feather-touch on a metaphorical chin, a ghostly finger lifting my gaze to new horizons.

Through its completed cosmology the Transcendence was cognizant of the universe as a whole, of all of space and time, the whole of the human past. And now it showed the past to me.

I was dazzled by the great portrait; I longed to turn my metaphorical head away. But I began to make out broad aspects. It all sprang from a deep root, the long prehistory of humankind on Earth, a root that emerged from down deep, rising through other forms of hominid and ape and animal — not lesser, each of them was perfectly adapted for the environment it found itself in, but steadily acquiring an elusive quality of mind. That deep dark Earthbound taproot culminated in my own time, like a shoot bursting out of the soil. History after my day was a tangle of foliage that sprawled across the face of the Galaxy — knotted, fecund, vibrant, full of detail, from the rise and fall of empires and even species, down to the particular experience of a small child wandering along a beach by the light of a blue-white star a thousand light-years from Earth.

Again I longed to remember this. Just the fact that humans had lived so long, and come so far, would have been beyond the imaginations of most people alive in my own cramped and dangerous century.

But it was a saga full of tragedy. I saw the scars of war, and of mindless natural disasters, where trillions of human lives had been destroyed like needles on a burning pine tree.

Leropa said, “ Look at it all, Michael Poole. Look at these particles of humanity trapped in the suffering of the past. And the Transcendence loves every one of them.”

I thought I understood. “It is unbearable.”

“Yes. How can the Transcendence face the infinite possibilities of the future, when its past is knotted up with blood and pain?”

It was the paradox of a god born of human flesh and blood. To achieve full awareness the Transcendence had to absorb every human consciousness, even far into the past. And that meant it had to absorb all that pain. The Transcendence needed Redemption, a cleansing of the pain of the past, before it could advance to the mighty possibilities of the future.

Leropa said carefully, “You see it, don’t you? You see it all. And you understand.”

“Yes,” I breathed. Of course I did. I had shrunk from the hubris of the project. But here and now, surrounded by the vast echoing halls of the mind of the Transcendence, I felt swept up, seeing only the magnificence of this great ambition.

The Transcendence was not infinite, not yet. But it believed it was approaching a singularity, a gathering-up of complexity and cohesion, which would drive it along asymptotic pathways of possibility to an infinity of capability and comprehension. Beyond that point it would no longer be human, for there was no commonality between the infinite and the finite. But unless it was able to resolve the dilemma of Redemption before that point of singularity, the product of that great phase change would be a flawed creation — infinite, yes, but imperfect.

“It will be a wounded god,” I said. Just as Rosa had intuited. It was an unthinkable outcome.

Through the Witnessing and the Hypostatic Union, it tried to bring the suffering of the past into its full awareness, and so to atone. But mere watching could never be enough. So the Transcendence went further. In the Restoration, every human that possibly could have existed would be brought into reality. It would be a stunning, shining moment of rectification. Such trivialities as causality and consequence would be abandoned — but the Transcendence would be infinite, I reminded myself; and to an infinite being even infinite tasks are trivial.

But still it wasn’t enough.

Leropa said, her voice silky, “One way or another the Redemption must be completed. And if atonement cannot be achieved then it would be better to make a simplifying choice.”

I knew what she meant. “If you don’t exist, you can never suffer.” The ultimate simplicity of extermination.

“The Cleansing is within our grasp, if we will it to be done.”

She was right. It was right. And at that moment even the dreadful notion of the Cleansing didn’t dismay me. I was within the Transcendence, yet I was the Transcendence. For a brief moment I shared its huge ambitions, and its limitless fears — and I faced its dilemma. I felt as if I were trapped under an immense weight.

And, in that moment, I fully accepted Leropa’s logic. History must be cleansed, one way or another. And it must be done now…

But Alia whispered in my metaphoric ear. “Michael. Wait. Think. What would Morag say? ”

Morag?…

“You always were a berk, Michael Poole.”

I imagined I could see her, a kind of elusive shadow glimpsed from the corner of my eye.

“A berk? Charming.”

“You always have to meddle, meddle, meddle.”

“If you’re going on about the hydrate project, I get enough of that from Tom.”

“Not that. I admit that’s necessary. But it had to be you doing it, didn’t it, Michael? It fit your personality like a glove, didn’t it? An excuse to tinker. You were always mucking about at home, too. All those pointless do-it-yourself projects you never finished.”

“Morag—”

“Your half-built conservatory, that you abandoned because you ran out of money. Or the way you changed half the windows in the house, then left the rest because you got bored. Or the way—”