Greg Krojac - The Schrödinger Enigma

The unassuming Boone family accidentally finds itself caught up in the middle of the struggle between One Life (the resistance movement) and the oppressive New World Order of the Illuminati, changing them from the role of victims to freedom fighters.

REVELATION is the first book of THE RECARN CHRONICLES trilogy, a tale spanning over 230 years – a tale of one man’s obsession with eternal world domination and an ordinary family who become major players in the battle against him and his ruthless organization.

Check out my website at www.gregkrojac.comfor more information. You can also contact me through the website to ask questions, make a comment, or discuss something that was mentioned in one of my novels.

Copyright © 2017/2018 Greg Krojac

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This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Contact details can be found at the end of this book.

Please note that this book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

Cover image: Courtesy NASA/JPL-Caltech

I know this looks weird, and I’m not completely sure the spelling is correct, but often in texas people shorten “she would have” to one word.

be sure to check for consistence. I change this b/c on the next page you use ’em, not them. Both are Nolan speaking.

the quotations are backwards here, but not sure how to fix in Word

in our email convo, you said that Triggs was defnitely southern, but didn’t say anything about Nolan. This is definitely a southern accent, so I’m going to assume that he is as well.

Southerner would probably say “won’t ever” or even “won’t never”. Depends how intense you want to get with the accent.

the use of “ma” and “pa” is something I’m going back and forth on. Depends exactly how rural you want to go. In the small Texas town I grew up in, nobody would use this. But if Triggs and his family are very rural, like living on a farm, then this would be suitable. Otherwise “mom” and “dad” are fine.

Timeline for utility breakdown a bit confused. Change to reflect real timeline. ‘It’s almost as if the utilities had been sabotaged’

this is probably unnecessary technical detail. Same with PAPR. Instead of naming/labeing them,just say what the are.

is this happening as the nurses are coming in? The rest of the paragraph is not, so this is jarring.

“then free”? Feels awkward. I think you just need to change the wording here.

too wordy. I would rewrite this.

If this is the NIH, she is probably American and would use “mom”

Why wouldn’t Sitara just wait until Suzy was dead? It’s obvious she’s about to, so why cause her more unnecessary pain?

this doesn’t make sense in the sentence. Maybe make it’s own sentence? “She really needed some clothes.”

too repetitive

spacing on this paragraph is different

this doesn’t seem realistic. based on what Jason is seeing, there is no reason for him to assume this.

he already said that

—

I think “physiology” is more correct.

wait, he’s not sure? But he’s exposing people to an alien who might be infectious anyway? It seems to make more sense that he would want to know everything he could about the alien before traveling with him any more, or introducing him to more humans

I think this should be “crew and I” but I’m not sure

but immune are still carriers right? Or does nobody know that?

a NASA scientist would probably use a more specific/technical word

just a thought: many southerners, especially rural ones, are Christian

when/where did he get punched?

change if you decide to use “dad” instead

hm, so they’re trusting the men to not attempt rescue? they should probably at least post a guard?

is this incorrect purposefully b/c of translator? If not, should be “lies”

why in the way? why wasn’t coexistence considered?

this still doesn’t explain why the virus is a H1N1 mutant

not sure what this sentence is saying

needs to be broken up

doesn’t make complete sentence when put with the first half

is this the same as in Bethesda?

—

break this up

I’m pretty sure Marine should be capitalized. Don’t think I caught all instances

you already used this in the sentence

nice detail!

this may be a British term? in the US we always use “blood type”

I’m not sure how to address the use of British terms when in the POV of someone who is an American character. up to you