Robert Sheckley - Alien Harvest

“About time you called, Myakovsky. I don't have much patience.”

“Not much more is required,” said Stan.

“I will listen now to your offer.”

“Yes, Captain. What I suggest is that you forget all about this matter and take your ship some distance from here. While you are gone I will take this harvester ship and get away. You needn't worry about losing the royal jelly aboard. There's plenty of it down here for you. You can easily milk yourself another harvester load.”

“That's great,” Potter said. “And just why should I do that?”

“Because I have a legal claim to this stuff which is every bit as good as Bio-Pharm's claim. And because I want you to.”

“I think you've flipped out.”

“You're not going to do it? No harm in asking, was there?”

“You're wasting my time,” Potter spat “There's no deal, Myakovsky. I don't need to negotiate with you. I'm taking what I want.”

“Right,” Stan said. “Gill?”

Gill's face appeared in the viewscreen. “Yes, Doctor?”

“Activate Subroutine Diogenes,” Stan said. “Signing off, Captain Potter.”

“That doctor of yours is really crazy,” Potter said to Gill. “He must think he still swings some weight. You can just forget any order he gave you. Things are going to be a little different now.”

“Yes, they are,” said Gill. The time was finally at hand.

He put his remaining hand to his mouth and popped in one finger. With a single wrench, he tore the finger off.

“What are you doing?” Potter said. “Stop that!”

“Subroutine Diogenes is beginning,” Gill said, tearing off a second finger. “You know the old story about the rich man's house?”

“What are you talking about?”

Off came another finger. “In the rich man's house,” Gill said, “a guest has a problem if he wants to spit.” Off came the fourth finger.

“You're crazy,” Potter said. “Stop or I'll shoot.”

“In the rich man's house,” Gill said, “there's no place to spit but in his face.” The fifth and last finger came off. There was a frozen moment in the control room of the Lancet . Then Gill blew up. Literally.

The explosion of the artificial man enclosed the Lancet in a rosy glow shot through with yellow diamonds.

“What was that?” Julie asked.

“Just somebody knocking at the door,” Stan said.

It came again: a heavy booming sound. Stan noted that the aliens had gotten over the top of the force field, scrambling up on each other's shoulders and toppling over. Now they were pounding and tearing at the entry port to the harvester. Stan could hear the metal start to buckle under their blows.

“It's very loud,” Julie said dreamily.

“I think our friends are becoming agitated,” Stan said. “It won't be long now.”

“Is there any more of that royal jelly left?” Julie asked.

“Let me just see…. Yes, my dear, we have another two ampoules. Here, let me uncork that and hold it for you…. That's better, eh?”

“Much better,” Julie smiled as Stan swallowed his ampoule.

The radio squawked into life. “Doctor! What in hell is going on! Potter's ship …”

It was Hoban. Stan said, his voice very low, “It was nice, eh, Captain?”

“What did you say, Doctor?”

“Gill made a satisfactory explosion, didn't he?” Stan said. “Gill did his part very well. How close are you, Captain?”

“Another five minutes.”

“I'm afraid I don't have that long,” Stan said. “I hope I won't be alive to see the last act. Hoban, it's been a pleasure knowing you. I hope you have no trouble clearing your name on Earth and going on with your brilliant career. Tell them on Earth …”

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Oh, tell them anything,” Stan said, suddenly testy. “Over and out.” He shut off the radio, then turned to Julie. “Good-bye, sweetheart.”

“See you again soon,” Julie said.

They kissed. And they were still kissing when the entry port shattered and the aliens came into the harvester.

Stan thought that was all. But it wasn't, not quite. There was a long blank stretch. He was vaguely aware that Julie was dead. All the others were dead, too, of course. Ari? He didn't know what had happened to Ari. And as for himself, he was surprised to find he was looking down on a corridor floor. He realized that the aliens had suspended him to the wall. He was in no pain. The royal jelly was still working. But something was growing inside him. He could feel it.

He was about to give birth. And die.

Now Stan summoned up all his courage and all his remaining strength. He opened his mouth and yelled. It was a long, hard, satisfactory yell. He could feel his body vibrating as he yelled. And a poem came to his mind….

I would have mourned the loss of my life

If I had not been already dead.

And then he felt the chestburster come crashing through his chest, its expressionless face already questing for food. And then there was only darkness, and it was warm, like Julie's kiss.

When Captain Hoban finally brought the Dolomite down to AR-32's surface, he found the remnants of Potter's crew. Julie was still alive, and Badger was missing, but everyone else was dead. Along with Julie, only Ari, the cybernetic ant, was left.

Once he was back in the ship, Hoban wasted no time trying to read the ant's memory files. But they were locked with an unbreakable molecular combination. Only Stan knew the combination, and Stan had forgotten to unlock the files to permit the final details of his story to be known.

That was the end of it, all except for cleaning up what was left. When Gill blew himself up, he disabled the Lancet's control system. It took several days for Potter and his remaining men — those who hadn't been killed, in the blast — to repair it. It gave me the time to bring the Dolomite down to the harvester, where Stan and Julie had made their last stand.

We had a brisk firefight with the two aliens we found inside. But we managed to put them down without further loss of human life. They were carrying containers of royal jelly. All the rest of the aliens were gone.

We didn't know at first where they had disappeared to, or why.

It took us a while to figure it out. First we had to get Julie in the ship and into emergency medical. We did that, and she finally came through it all right. She was nearly well when we got back to Earth. I don't know what she's doing now; we lost touch.

I did see Badger again. He came to visit me one day shortly after I bought my new house on the Pacific Palisades. I had been reinstated, and I was doing well again as a spaceship captain. I owe it all to Stan. It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't stolen that ship, which brought the whole thing to the attention of the authorities and resulted in the reopening of my old case. This time a jury found for me, and against Bio-Pharm.

Badger arrived when I was between flights. He just wanted to say hello. We talked a while. Potter had brought him back to Earth in the Lancet , after he'd fixed the damage Gill caused.

“He didn't like me,” Badger said cheerfully, “but he couldn't very well kick me out. I was the one who'd tipped him off to you and the doctor.”

“And got Stan killed,” I pointed out.

“He did his best to get me killed,” Badger said.

“That was not intentional.”

“No? Well, neither was my blowing the whistle on you to Potter. I was just trying to save my own life.”

I didn't know what to say to that.

Badger was curious about one thing. When we'd gone back to get Stan and Julie, why had we only found two aliens, instead of the hordes that had been swarming over the harvester? And why hadn't they gotten to Julie?