Robert Sheckley: Alien Harvest

Stan laughed without humor. “I suppose a lot of people want that.”

“Certainly, but they don't have my qualifications. Or my desire.”

Stan acknowledged this. “I take it you have some ideas on how to realize that goal?”

She nodded. “I have thought of a way you and I could make a fortune.”

“A fortune,” Stan mused. “How much is that in dollars?”

“Don't laugh at me,” Julie said. “I don't know exactly how much it would be. But it would come to millions of dollars, perhaps even billions, and we'd neither of us lack for anything ever again.”

“Nothing?” Stan asked, looking at her and thinking how pretty she was.

“We'd have it all,” she told him. “That's worth something, isn't it?”

She slipped off the severe trench coat. Beneath it she wore a nylon, military-style jumpsuit. The tight-fitting clothes set off her well-shaped bosom and fine shoulders to advantage. Stan thought she looked great. He wondered if Julie was one of the things he'd also have if he made a deal with her. He liked the idea but kept that thought to himself as well. Although he was extremely susceptible to beauty, he had cultivated a brusque manner around women so they would never think he was coming on to them and then reject him. He had had a lot of rejection in his life, and he wasn't going to have any more if he could avoid it.

“Tell me your idea,” he said.

Julie reached into a small purse she carried, took out a package, and handed it to him.

Stan looked at her questioningly.

“Do you know what this is? Open it and find out.”

The package was wrapped in thick manila paper and was held together with tape. He tried to pull the paper off, but there was no place for his fingers to take hold. He went to his desk and found the paper knife, and managed to saw through the tape. Then he slit the paper carefully and opened the package. Within was a plastic box. Inside it, padded with foam rubber, was a stoppered test tube.

Stan held it up to the light. It was a heavy viscous liquid, with bluish lights in it. He unstopped the tube and sniffed. The aroma was unmistakable.

“Royal jelly,” he said.

She nodded. “Do you know what this stuff is worth?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. It is one of the most valuable substances in the galaxy.”

She nodded. “And the stuff is in even shorter supply now that we've got the aliens on the run. That's part of what makes it so expensive. And it's a monopoly.

The big bionational research companies have it all tied up. They've got places out on other planets where they get the stuff from the aliens. It's all a closed transaction.”

“Which is all well-known,” Stan said. “Tell me something new.”

“Suppose I tell you that I know where we can lay our hands on an entire shipload of the stuff. At least a hundred tons. What about that?”

“Who does it belong to?”

“Whoever gets it.”

“Who did it used to belong to?”

“A freelance honey-collecting expedition. But it came up lost, and has never been heard of again.”

“So what makes you think they struck it rich?”

“Before vanishing, they sent out one signal by subspace radio. It was intercepted by a certain Bio-Pharm official. He never got around to using it. I guess he was going to take it to the grave with him, but I persuaded him otherwise.”

Stan didn't ask her how she had managed this. At that moment her face looked quite sinister. But it was no less beautiful because of that. “So you know where it is?”

“I know approximately.”

Stan studied her for a while and pursed his lips thoughtfully. Then he said, “And you think it's as simple as walking in and taking it?”

“Flying in,” she corrected.

“There might be objections to our appropriating this cargo,” Stan said.

“So what? It's not illegal. Salvage rights belong to whoever gets them. The stuff's ours if we can get it.”

“And we're dead if we don't.”

Julie shrugged. “It's a lot of money, so there's going to be a lot of risk. I don't know about you, Stan, but I'm tired of being small-time. Just once I want to go for all the marbles. Don't you feel that way sometimes?”

Stan could feel the pains of his condition eating away at him through the haze of the medication. He knew he was sick as hell.

But he also knew he was still alive.

“I think I'm ready for a big one, too,” he said slowly. “But there's still a difficulty. Where there's royal jelly, there'll be aliens. How are we going to get through them?”

“The same way your ant, Ari, got through the enemy ant nest, Stan. That's how.”

Stan stared at her. “You know about Ari?”

“Of course. I told you I researched you. And I read Cyberantics .”

“You think I could make a cybernetic or robotic alien and he could get through an alien ant nest?”

“I know you've been working on such a robot,” Julie said. “Why don't we find out if it works?”

She looked at him challengingly, and Stan felt his heart lift. At last something was happening to him, an adventure with a beautiful woman.

“Then there's the question of a ship,” he said.

“You have one.”

“Had. The government just seized it.”

She looked at him levelly. “Let's worry about getting the ship later. What we need even worse is a spaceship pilot who's willing to do something illegal.”

“I can think of one man….”

“Who's that?”

“Just someone I know. Julie, you flatter me by coming to me with this partnership offer. But evidently you don't know my full situation.”

“I don't? Tell me, then.”

“Julie, I used to be quite a wealthy man. One of the youngest millionaires on the Forbes list. I have several key patents in bioengineering, and the plans for my cybernetic ant, Ari, are a standard for the field of medical miniaturization.”

“I know all this, Stan.”

“Sure. But did you also know that all that has changed? Did you know the government has put a lien on my assets? It seems that Bio-Pharm, one of the biggest of the international pharmaceutical houses, has filed suit against me for patent infringement. What a laugh. They stole most of their processes from me! But it's not easy to prove, and in the meantime they've got me on the run. I don't own a damned thing anymore — nothing except this house and Ari.” He lifted up the cybernetic ant to show to Julie. “I even have to beg my grocer to extend me credit so I can go on eating!”

Julie looked at him without sympathy. “I know all that, Stan. It's tough, isn't it?”

He thought he detected a tone of irony in her voice. “You're damned right it's tough!”

“Granted. But so what?”

He stared at her, uncomprehending. “Did you actually come here to insult me?”

“There's nothing insulting in what I'm saying. I came here to make a deal with you. What I find is you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. I'm offering you something you can do about it.”

“It's not just that I'm broke,” Stan said. “There's also … my condition.”

“Tell me about it,” Julie said.

Stan shrugged. “There's not much to say. Melanoma. I've got six months. Maybe a little longer if I want to lie in a hospital bed and breath pure oxygen.”

“You look like you're moving around pretty good just now,” Julie said.

“Oh yeah, sure. But that's just now. This stuff is the only thing that keeps me going.” He took out a vial of Xeno-Zip and showed it to her.

“I know all about that stuff,” Julie said. “It's my job to keep track of precious substances that come in small packages. And this is the only stuff that does you any good?”

“That's right,” Stan said. “It's expensive even for a rich man. For someone whose assets have been seized … Well, I'll run out soon, and I don't know what happens then.”