Keith Laumer - The Compleat Bolo

The rather pop-eyed little physicist paused to look expectantly at his attentive audience, who returned his gaze silently.

"Well?" he almost shouted. "Have you no response? Now, mind you, this is no biased inflammatory statement issued by opponents of the scheme. I quote from a prospectus issued by the Bolo Division itself, the very organization which proposes to construct this outrage!"

When old General Margrave, seven stars, Chief of Imperial Staff, had settled himself into the thronelike chair on the dais, he glared at the reporters and harrumph!ed, then said bluntly:

"The science boys are afraid that if they build to military specs, they'll build a machine smarter than they are. Nonsense! Give me the Mark XXX and I'll guarantee the security of Imperial Terran Border Space for the next ten thousand years!"

(extract from filibuster by Lord Senator Dandridge on the floor of the House, June 1, 1063 NS)

"…tell you once again, milords, that the responsibility for final approval of money bills was not vested in this honorable House for the purpose of enabling us to loose destruction on this planet! This proposed machine is openly touted as a juggernaut, responsible only to itself, and capable of withstanding any attempt to neutralize it. This, milords, is Disaster incarnate! It must never be constructed!"

(item from Arlington, Virginia, News Advocate, June 26, 1063 NS)

Debate on the funding of the new Bolo Disastrous, as the new machine has been dubbed by its opponents after Lord Senator Dandridge's recent diatribe, has waxed more heated and today resulted in fisticuffs in the Senate corridors, as pro and con factions denounced each other as traitors. Lord Senator Blake, a vociferous supporter of the program, was hospitalized with severe contusions after being attacked with a heavy cane by Lord Senator Lazarus.

A near-riot in the streets of Georgetown was quelled by Imperial Reserves ordered out by Lord Mayor Clymczyk. No arrests were made.

From: B. Reeves, Maj. Gen DCS/PR, HQ, IAF

To: T. Margrave, Gen. IS/CC, HQ, IAF

I cannot bring myself to believe that you actually intend to loose this engine of destruction on the defenseless people of this planet. Surely it would be no more than simple prudence to conduct initial tests at Fortress Luna, though even out there the thing could constitute a menace. At minimum, we must prepare a means of transporting it, if needed.

(preliminary estimate by Dave Quill SMC, IAF)

I reckon if we use a couple of cargo pods, fixed up end-to-end, and power the rig with a primary drive unit out of a ship of the line, it would put more than ten million tons into orbit-and soft-land it, too, if that's what they want. Sounds nutty to me, but like my old drill sergeant used to say, I ain't paid to think. Sure, I can do it.

(Georgius Imperator, to the Cabinet Council)

"It is with grave misgivings that we give our assent to the proposals, milords. However, our technical advisors remind us that we are now in the second millennium of the Nuclear Age, and that the present outcry is not the first to be raised in opposition to technological advance.

They remind us further of the furor which attended the early deployment of the orbital nuclear watchdog defense system, whereas in fact it was the 'Dog' which detected and neutralized within ten minutes the attempted coup of the Eurasian Province in 621 NS.

"Accordingly, we do herewith sign the document, and let all men know that it is the Imperial wish that construction of the Bolo 'Caesar' proceed without further delay."

(informal statement by Eli Pratt, retired engineer)

Well, I don't know. It's been a long time since the Mark XXIX program, and I confess I haven't been able to keep up with the advances in psychotronics since they came out with the new MJ circuitry. So don't ask me, fellows. I guess if the Emperor has OK'd it, it must be all right. No, I don't think the Imperial Edict is a fake. George is no dummy.

(interoffice memo from Harlowe Kreis, Chairman, Tellurian Metals, to Chief of Production Tobias Gree, March 1, 1065 NS)

Toby-this means we have to go now on the new rolling mill. I know it hasn't been proved that it's going to be possible to fabricate 20-cm. endurachrome plating, but we've got the contract, and we can do it if anybody can. Keep me informed.-K

(sermon by the Reverend Jeremiah, Cleveland, Ohio, March 13, 1065 NS)

"Oh, my brethren, if the Lord intended man to field this kind of firepower, he'd have given him armor plating, can't you see that? I tell you, this here Bolo CSR Disastrous is a device of the Evil One, so what we've got to do is, we've got to form up and march on that Tellurian Metals plant now. Love contributions are being accepted by the ladies now passing among you. So give, give, GIVE, till it hurt, hurt, HURTS. Amen."

(overheard in a New Jersey bar, half a mile from TM assembly plant 5)

"Beats me, Gus. I'm just an old-fashioned electronics man, and I got no opinions on this. It's way over my head, but it stands to reason that we have to be prepared, now that our probes are poking into Trans-Oort Space. No telling what we might scare up out there. Pour me one more, Gus-no, I ain't drunk, but I'm working on it."

(statement by Chester Finch, Director of Public Relations, Acme Porous Media)

"We here at Acme have long taken pride in our role in Imperial preparedness. As impartial subcontractors to major aerospace firms, we have played an important role in military procurement for over a century. We shall continue thus to support our world's self-defense, in spite of a degree of public hysteria currently misdirected at the new Bolo program."

(from a statement by Milt Pern, Chairman, A.P.E.)

"All right, fellas and gals. This is the position of Aroused People for the Environment: "We oppose without reservation any further waste of the natural resources of our Earth on the manufacture of exaggerated systems designed for warfare-warfare, mind you, against hypothetical intelligent extraterrestrials not even known to exist. Now, get out there, people, with the new brochures and posters. And remember our goal- everybody goes APE in '73!"

(from a statement by Jonas Tuckerman, Sheriff of Lolahoocha County)

"The people of Lolahoocha County rightly expect to be able to go about their business as usual, without interference by these gangs of Apes or Hungarians or whatever, coming around making trouble. I aim to see they've not disappointed."

(comment overheard on the Bridge Avenue Car)

"Well, I don't know, John, with all these riots and everything else you hear about, maybe they do have to arrest some of them, like you said, and it is important that planetary defense programs proceed as planned. But Herb Brown-when you see him out mowing his lawn like anybody else, you wouldn't think that he was mixed up in any kind of plot."

(arraignment statement by P. L. Whaffle, CPA)

"Jails'll be running over soon. No room left for thieves and murderers, if they keep sticking everybody in the can that happens to be passing by when those agitators start up. I tell you, I was just on my way over to Little Armenia to pick up some of that good bread, and heard shouting, thought it was a car smash, you know, and I crossed over, and-"

(overheard at Dino's Hall of Billiards, Reno)