John Ringo - East of the Sun, West of the Moon

“I’m not ready, yet,” Megan said after a brief inventory. She could feel the pull as well but it wasn’t able to overcome the continued revulsion.

“Well, it would only help partially,” Mirta admitted. “Face it, we’re coming alive again. Lord knows it’s been long enough and we were fairly sex starved in the harem for that matter; Paul was never Mr. Super Stud.”

“And Herzer most definitely…” Megan said and stopped. “I suppose he is, isn’t he?”

“Under stud in the dictionary they have his picture,” Mirta said. “But, basically, we’ve been hiding in the apartments. Part of it, I think, is that we’re still unsure about the world outside.”

“Agoraphobia,” Megan said, bitterly. “Every harem girl’s friend.”

“Yes, that,” Mirta said. “But we’re also afraid of doing something that will reflect badly on you. But we’ve got to figure something out; the cucumber delivery man is starting to wonder.”

Megan leaned back and laughed at that until she could feel tears coming in her eyes. Finally she stopped and gasped for breath.

“Thank you, Mirta,” she gasped.

“You’re welcome,” Mirta replied. “There is another option. And think about it after you get over wanting to rip my head off…”

“Share him,” Megan said, taking a deep breath and gritting her teeth. “I…” she stopped and shook her head.

“It does three things,” Mirta said, implacably. “It ensures that the girls get what they need and that they’re getting it from someone who is not an enemy agent that might… ahem… pump them for information. It ensures that Herzer gets what he needs and doesn’t go wandering off with someone who could be a threat…”

Megan got a very clear image of Herzer with the duke’s “doxie” at that.

“And it gives you more time to get your head together,” Mirta finished. “There are, however, problems.”

“I’d have to accept it, emotionally, with entirety,” Megan said. “And I don’t think I can. It’s all tied up with the not feeling like I can have sex, yet.” She paused and thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “Meredith. Meredith I can almost accept. Shanea and Ashly… no,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t trust them to… understand the nature of the engagement, I guess. Shanea, bless her, is just too…”

“Dumb,” Mirta inserted.

“I would have said something a bit nicer,” Megan said. “Eventually. Ashly… Ashly could be poisonous. I almost wish I hadn’t brought her in but she’s good at what she does. But in this I’d have a hard time trusting her. Meredith would see it as what it was; a release. Nothing more.”

“I think you’re overestimating her, there,” Mirta said, shrugging. “She wouldn’t try to take Herzer from you, but she’s more interested than you realize, I think. I’m not sure you’re seeing what they, we, are seeing in Herzer. I’m not sure you’ll be ready to bed him until you do. And I’m not sure what it will take to open your eyes.”

She nodded at that and walked out, quietly, leaving Megan to contemplate the tray of cold cuts and another knotty problem.

“Meredith,” Megan said, entering the office. “Could you give me a moment with Herzer?”

“Certainly, Megan,” Meredith said. “I have the list of personnel and material he needs. I’ll just run it down to the War Department.”

“I’d prefer you send Ashly,” Megan reminded her. “I’d like you around for the meetings this evening.”

“Of course,” Meredith said, nodding as she left.

Herzer had another notebook open and was doing one-handed push-ups as he read it. From time to time he’d pick up a fountain pen and make a note, then set it down and return his off hand to his chest.

“Interesting reading?” Megan asked, watching him slowly lift himself up and down.

“The damned doors on the airlocks are a bitch,” Herzer admitted. “Good if we’re defending them. A stone bitch if we have to get through them.”

“So we make sure we’re on the right side?” Megan asked.

“That will depend upon what shuttles we get,” Herzer said. “If New destiny gets the close shuttles, it will be a race with them in the lead from the beginning. Then we’ll have to force our way in. That will mean high casualties, which was why the initial team was sending up only fighters in the first wave.” He paused and turned a page. “But I don’t think that will work. I don’t think it would have worked in the first place. You can force the doors to the control room but not the doors that access the structural ring tube. Those are eight- centimeter composite. They assumed that they could get forces in on one side of the access tube or the other. That’s a bad assumption. If we get into the control room, first, that is where we’ll hold them. At the internal blast doors. But there are other access ways,” he added, turning another page. “Not good ones, not ones that I like, but we can use them. The problem is that I’m also thinking of ways you could block them, that New Destiny could block them.” He rolled his tongue in his cheek and clicked his prosthetic, which was the off hand at the moment, thoughtfully.

“Herzer,” Megan said, carefully. “Shanea just asked me if she could borrow you for a couple of days.”

“To show her around town?” Herzer asked, turning another page. It was clear that he was only half listening. “I was going to talk to you about that. The poor girl is starved for some entertainment—”

“Actually, she was asking about indoor sports,” Megan said clearly.

Herzer paused in his push-ups and looked over at her, aghast.

“Jesus,” he muttered, “I hadn’t realized it had gotten that far.”

“You knew?” Megan snapped.

“Well, she was sort of giving off signals,” Herzer admitted. “Just today, though, at lunch. I was going to talk to you about it, later. One of the ensigns I said I needed I was, frankly, going to sic on her. Put him in charge of an escort so she can get out of the house and then let nature take its course.”

“She’s not the only one,” Megan pointed out.

“Megan, I’m not making eyes at any of them, honest,” Herzer said, flipping himself to his feet with one hand and coming over to brush her cheek, lightly. “Ashly… well, she’s sort of started to notice me lately. But you don’t have to worry about me… straying. Honestly, honey. Hell, I spend most of my time around Meredith for God’s sake.”

“And she’s another,” Megan said, holding up her hand to forestall protest. “I didn’t notice it but Mirta did and she’s right. Meredith won’t ask, I think… I hope…” she trailed off.

“Christ on a crutch,” Herzer muttered, sitting down. “What in the hell are we going to do?”

“Mirta suggested that since I’m not using the local stud that I share him,” Megan said.

“No,” Herzer replied. “Absolutely not. If we were… if we were having sex and you were more stable about it, it would be possible .” He held up his hand this time and fixed her with a glare. “I said possible . But even if you agreed, now, I would say no . You couldn’t handle it, not the way that you still are. I’d end up losing you and gaining… nothing worth losing you for.”

“So how come you’re so knowledgeable?” Megan asked, trying not to cry but smiling at the same time. “Big tough soldier. You’re not supposed to be able to think about these things.”

“Maybe some of Bast rubbed off on me,” Herzer said with a shrug. “She’s as tough as they come, but she looks at people’s emotions and reads them as well as anyone I’ve ever known. And, now, you could not handle that. No matter what you told yourself, it would tear you apart. And I’m not willing to lose you for a quick roll in the hay with Shanea.”