Jim Butcher - Side Jobs

“ Merci ,” Thomas said, still smiling.

Raymond grunted. He gave me a sour look, picked up a toolbox from where he’d set it aside, along with his coat and a stepladder, and headed out to the parking lot.

“’Ah-ree, you know Say-rah,” Thomas said.

“Never had the pleasure of an introduction,” I said, and offered Sarah my hand.

She took it, smiling. “I take it you aren’t here to play Evernight?”

I looked from her to the costumed people. “Oh,” I said. “ Oh , it’s a . . . game of some kind, I take it?”

“A LARP,” she said.

I looked blank for a second. “Is that like a lark?”

She grinned. “LARP,” she repeated. “Live action role-playing.”

“Live action . . . vampire role-playing, I guess,” I said. I looked at Thomas. “And this is why you are here?”

Thomas gave me a sunny smile and nodded. “She asked me to pretend to be a vampire, just for tonight,” he said. “And straight.”

No wonder he was having a good time.

Sarah beamed at me. “Thomas never talks about his, ah, personal life. So you’re quite the man of mystery at the shop. We all speculate about you, all the time.”

I’ll just bet they did. There were times when my brother’s cover as a flamingly gay hairdresser really grated. And it wasn’t as though I could go around telling people we were related—not with the White Council of Wizards at war with the Vampire Courts.

“How nice,” I told Sarah. I was never getting out of the role people had assumed for me around Thomas. “Thomas, can we talk for a moment?”

“ Mais oui ,” he said. He smiled at Sarah, took her hand, and gave her a little bow over it. She beamed fondly at him, and then hurried back inside.

I watched her go, in her tight pants and skimpy top, and sighed. She had an awfully appealing curve of back and hip, and just enough bounce to make the motion pleasant, and there was no way I could ever even think about flirting with her.

“Roll your tongue back up into your mouth before someone notices,” Thomas said, sotto voce. “I’ve got a cover to keep.”

“Tell them I’m larping like I’m straight,” I said, and we turned to walk down the entry hall, a little away from the bistro. “Pretending to be a vampire, huh?”

“It’s fun,” Thomas said. “I’m like a guest star on the season finale.”

I eyed him. “Vampires aren’t fun and games.”

“I know that,” Thomas said. “You know that. But they don’t know that.”

“You aren’t doing them any favors,” I said.

“Lighten up,” Thomas said. The words were teasing, but there were serious undertones to his voice. “They’re having fun, and I’m helping. I don’t get a chance to do that very often.”

“By making light of something that is a very real danger.”

He stopped and faced me. “They’re innocent , Harry. They don’t know any better. They’ve never been hurt by a vampire or lost loved ones to a vampire.” He lifted his eyebrows. “I thought that was what your people were fighting for in the first place.”

I gave him a sour look. “If you weren’t my brother, I’d probably tell you that you have some awfully nerdy hobbies.”

We reached the front doors. Thomas studied himself in the glass and struck a pose. “True, but I look gorgeous doing them. Besides, Sarah worked eleven Fridays to Mondays in a row without a complaint. She earned a favor.”

Outside, the snow was thickening. Raymond was atop his ladder, fiddling with the camera. Molly was watching him. I waved until I got her attention, then made a little outline figure of a box with my fingers, and beckoned her. She nodded and killed the engine.

“I came in here expecting trouble. We’re lucky I didn’t bounce a few of these kids off the ceiling before I realized they weren’t something from the dark side.”

“Bah,” Thomas said. “Never happen. You’re careful.”

I snorted. “I hope you won’t mind if I just give you your present and run.”

“Wow,” Thomas said. “Gracious much?”

“Up yours,” I said as Molly grabbed the present and hurried in through the cold, shivering all the way. “And happy birthday.”

He turned to me and gave me a small, genuinely pleased smile. “Thank you.”

There was a click of high heels in the hall behind us, and a young woman appeared. She was pretty enough, I suspected, but in the tight black dress, black hose, and with her hair slicked back like that, she came off sort of threatening. She gave me a slow, cold look and said, “So. I see you’re keeping low company after all, Ravenius.”

Ever suave, I replied, “Uh. What?”

“’Ah-ree,” Thomas said.

I glanced at him.

He put his hand flat on the top of his head and said, “Do this.”

I peered at him.

He gave me a look.

I sighed and put my hand on the top of my head.

The girl in the black dress promptly did the same thing and gave me a smile. “Oh, right, sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“I will be back in one moment,” Thomas said, his accent back. “Personal business.”

“Right,” she said, “sorry. I figured Ennui had stumbled onto a subplot.” She smiled again, then took her hand off the top of her head, reassumed that cold, haughty expression, and stalked clickety-clack back to the bistro.

I watched her go, turned to my brother while we both stood there with our hands flat on top of our heads, elbows sticking out like chicken wings, and said, “What does this mean?”

“We’re out of character,” Thomas said.

“Oh,” I said. “And not a subplot.”

“If we had our hands crossed over our chests,” Thomas said, “we’d be invisible.”

“I missed dinner,” I said. I put my other hand on my stomach. Then, just to prove that I could, I patted my head and rubbed my stomach. “Now I’m out of character—and hungry.”

“You’re always hungry. How is that out of character?”

“True,” I said. I frowned, then looked back. “What’s taking Molly—”

My apprentice stood facing away from me, her back pressed to the glass doors. She stood rigid, one hand pressed to her mouth. Thomas’s birthday present, in its pink and red Valentine’s Day wrapping paper, lay on its side among grains of snowmelt on the sidewalk. Molly trembled violently.

Thomas was a beat slow to catch on to what was happening. “Isn’t that skirt a little light for the weather? Look, she’s freezing.”

Before he got to “skirt,” I was out the door. I seized Molly and dragged her inside, eyes on the parking lot. I noticed two things.

First, that Raymond’s ladder was tipped over and lay on its side in the parking lot. Flakes of snow were already gathering upon it. In fact, the snow was coming down more and more heavily, despite the weather forecast that had called for clearing skies.

Second, there were droplets of blood on my car and the cars immediately around it, the ones closest to Raymond’s ladder. They were rapidly freezing and they glittered under the parking lot’s lamps like tiny brilliant rubies.

“What?” Thomas asked as I brought Molly back in. “What is—” He stared out the windows for a second and answered the question for himself. “Crap.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Molly?”

She gave me a wild-eyed glance, shook her head once, then bowed it and closed her eyes, speaking in a low, repetitive whisper.

“What the hell?” Thomas said.

“She’s in psychic shock,” I said quietly.

“Never seen you in psychic shock,” my brother said.

“Different talents. I blow things up. Molly’s a sensitive, and getting more so,” I told him. “She’ll snap herself out of it, but she needs a minute.”