Mack Reynolds: The Space Barbarians

DeRudder looked at him. “I was opposed to that, John. Not that I wouldn’t have been in favor had I thought it would end the continual raids. However, I don’t believe you bring barbarians to heel by bombing their towns.”

“What is a barbarian?”

“I doubt if you’ll understand. It’s an ethnic period in man’s social evolution. You have savagery, barbarism, eventually, ah, civilization. All three periods are subdivided.”

“And what period is this city of New Sidon at, Samuel of the DeRudders?”

“That’s a good question. Come on in here, and I’ll show you how to work the plumbing. As I recall, you have running water and somewhat primitive plumbing in your long-houses, but not bathtubs, refreshers, or even showers, as we know them.” DeRudder hesitated and there was a wry element in his voice again. “New Sidon? I suppose you could say she’s at an early period of civilization, considering socioeconomic system and such.”

In the bath, DeRudder demonstrated hot water, cold water, needle sprays, soap and towels. John was astounded. He asked various questions, such as where the hot water was heated, where the refuse went, and finally just what soap was.

“I’d forgotten you didn’t have soap,” DeRudder muttered. “One simply presupposes soap. How in the world did your culture lose it, after the Inverness Ark crashed?”

“I don’t know,” John said defensively. “Evidently, we lost many things during the misty years that followed.”

“All right,” DeRudder said. “You’re on your own. I’ll get you some other clothes.”

“What is wrong with my clothing?”

“It’s dirty, among other things. Besides, this is New Sidon City, not Aberdeen. If you went around in those kilts, you’d stand out like a walrus in a goldfish bowl.”

“What’s a walrus and a goldfish bowl?”

“Never mind. I’ll be in the other room.”

John experimented with the bathing facilities. He hated to admit that they fascinated him as well as refreshed him beyond any point he could ever remember. There were many aspects to this way of life of the men from Beyond.

In the next room, he could hear Cornet DeRudder on some sort of communication device. The other was saying, “I want you to send up several outfits to try on a Caledonian. He’s about average size, perhaps a little bigger, say seven feet two, give or take an inch. No, he has no insignia yet. Hasn’t been processed. Just send standard United Mining coveralls.”

The voice broke off and after a few minutes spoke again. “Cornet Samuel DeRudder reporting.” The language then deteriorated into officialese that John couldn’t follow.

When he emerged from the bath, he found several outfits laid out on his bed. He scowled in distaste. Never in his life had he worn other than kilts, shirt and jerkin. Nor did the outfits that the men from Beyond clothed themselves in seem either meet or comfortable.

DeRudder called from the living room, “Could you hurry, John? I have to leave.”

The coveralls weren’t hard to figure out. John found the outfit that fitted him best and climbed into it. He wondered, a bit narrow eyed, what would happen to his field worker’s kilts. Possibly his benefactor, if such DeRudder could be thought, would dispose of them in some manner. For a moment, he hesitated.

In the living room, the other was seated in a chair, another drink in hand. He looked at the giant of a man thoughtfully. “Nobody’d ever take you for a Sidonian,” he in uttered.

There seemed no particular answer to that. DeRudder said suddenly, “John, I’m going to warn you. No tricks.”

“Tricks?”

“You’re unarmed and don’t know the town. There are police all over it. They are armed, and they keep track of Caledonians, particularly Caledonians whose clothes indicate that they aren’t long in town.”

John said bitterly, “I am as though in a different world, and you are the only person I know in it. I don’t even understand how to leave the building, did I wish to leave. What kind of trick did you expect of me, Samuel of the DeRudders?”

“Sam DeRudder,” the other sighed. “And you’re simply John Hawk, as of arrival in New Sidon. Come on into the dining-kitchenette and I’ll show you how to manipulate the autochef.”

As John followed him, he looked at the smaller and older man from the corner of his eye. “Why do you do all this, -Samuel… Sam DeRudder?”

DeRudder said, “I don’t know. Perhaps because as I told you, we need good men if we’re ever going to develop Caledonia. You’re a good man.”

Rudder gave his new guest a tour of the apartment, finally winding up back in the living room.

He indicated a desklike piece of furniture upon which was situated a blank screen. “This is a standard, universal communicator,” he said, sitting down before the screen. “Its workings are simple enough; however, you won’t be using it, at least for a time, except for reading. This switch connects you to New Sidon’s library.”

For the next ten minutes, DeRudder demonstrated to the fascinated Caledonian how to utilize the library banks.

Finally, his voice holding a trace of awe, John said, “What else will this box from Beyond do?”

The other chuckled. “Well, as I say, it’s a universal communicator. It’s a combination videophone—”

“What is a videophone?”

DeRudder told him, keeping impatience from his voice.

In seeming disbelief, John said, “You mean, with this you can talk to and be seen by anyone on all Caledonia?”

“Not exactly,” Sam DeRudder said wryly. “The other chap would have to have one too. Then you could talk to him simply by dialing his number. You see, here is the number of this communicator. If anyone dials it, then a summons rings and I answer. If I am not here, the message is taped and I play it back when I return.”

“But anywhere on all Caledonia? Any distance? With no trouble whatsoever?”

DeRudder chuckled again. He said, “Well, there is one small necessity. If your call is made anywhere outside New Sidon, you’d better have a valid ID credit card.”

“What is a valid ID credit card?”

DeRudder brought a wallet from his tunic and flicked it open. “Here’s my new one. Your friends back at the Dail confiscated my original… precious lot of good it will do them. At any rate, in ordering anything that involves credit exchange, it is necessary to put your credit card in this slot. The cost of the product or service is then deducted from your credit account.”

John shook his head. “Perhaps I will understand later. Will it be necessary for me to have such a card?”

DeRudder put his wallet away. “Yes, of course. As soon as you have been found employment, you will be issued a restricted card. It is impossible to survive without one, under ordinary circumstances. So long as you live here with me , of course, I will handle all matters pertaining to your expenditures.”

“What is a restricted credit card?”

DeRudder took a breath and looked up at the chronometer on the wall. “The kind issued to Caledonians.”

John looked at him. “Caledonians are in New Sidon what clannless ones are in one of our towns. Is it not so?”

DeRudder was uncomfortable. He came to his feet. “Not exactly, John. However, there is such a thing as security. I am a cornet in the Sidon armed forces. As such, I have access to information and resources available not even to lesser ranking Sidonians. And now, I’m going to have to leave you temporarily. Make yourself at home. Eat and drink what you will. I suggest you spend your time at the library banks, familiarizing yourself with the layout of the town and with a few of the”—he made a wry face—“banns that exist under the Canons of the League of Planets.”