Philip Palmer - Hell Ship

I walked! And slithered; then I expanded my cape; and I spoke:

“My name is Sai-ias,” I said. And no one could hear me, so I said it again:

“My name is Sai-ias, and I am free.”

My tentacles were mine to command; I could speak freely. And I could fly, if I so desired, wherever the winds might take me.

The next day was the same.

And the next day.

And the next. Free!

When my fellow sentients woke, I acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. I acted as they did; I spoke as though possessed by a Ka’un. I ate like a savage. I did not converse. During exercises, I was as brutal as I had always been.

Later, I journeyed from one end of the hangar bay to the other where the Kindred dwelled, just to see what it was like. It was not in fact so very different; except that the Kindred slept on wooden benches, and the stench of their unwashed bodies was ripe and disgusting.

When challenged by a Kindred warrior about my presence there, I said I was carrying a message to a particular Kindred chief who I knew had died during our last combat. I was told he had died in combat, so I snorted rudely, and made my way back to my end of the hangar bay, where the giant sentients were lodged.

At the end of that long day I lay down and slept with them; or rather, pretended to sleep.

It was, I knew, imperative that no one should know of my state of freedom. For there was no-one here who could be trusted. The Kindred were pure evil; the giant sentients mere puppets.

And I wondered how this had happened. Was it a mere accident? Or was Minos playing with me? Or perhaps trying to win my confidence and trust? But if so-why?

And I wondered too what I would do when the time for battle came again. Would I reveal myself as the true Sai-ias by refusing to fight, and be entrapped once more? Or would I fight, and slay, and hence keep my freedom for a little while longer?

And hearing that thought in my mind, Minos spoke:

You must fight, Minos said. For my crew know nothing of my gift to you, and they must never learn. But this will not be for ever. This terrible state of affairs will not last for ever. Trust me, Sai-ias; I implore you, trust me!

I did not know whether to believe him, or to trust him; but at least I knew part of the truth. This, my state of freedom, was Minos’s doing.

And I realised too that Minos had come to rely upon me, and perhaps even to like me, for reasons both strange and mystifying. For he spoke to me, and to no other. He gave me the freedom of my limbs, as a gift with no prior or subsequent conditions. He was the captain, the master of this vessel-the king in effect of all the Ka’un. And I was his favourite!

And over the weeks that followed, with Minos’s voice in my head, I learned so much about this ship and our captors. Minos confided in me as if we were long-established friends; as if we were equals! He told me that his ship had the power to travel between different universes, not just between stars, though I did not comprehend his explanation of this. He told me also of the sad history of his people, and their war with the evil Parakka. And he told me how he and his crew had yearned to make a fresh start, in some new universe or other. But they were never, because of the folly of others, able to do so.

There were only a handful of Ka’un still surviving, Minos admitted. Once the ship had held thousands of their kind but war and natural disasters had thinned their numbers. But only the extremest acts of violence could kill their self-regenerating bodies; they could not die of old age. That salvation, he said bitterly, was denied them.

Many times, he also admitted, the Hell Ship had come close to destruction. It had been blown up, hurled into a sun, beset with metal-eating viruses, bombed with un-matter, and in a myriad other ways savaged and brutalised. Each time the ship-which is organic and living, in some way I cannot fathom-has reformed itself. And the Tower itself has always remained intact. The Tower, he told me, was the replica of a sacred building upon his own home world; The Tower of the Living Saviour, which for some reason he reverenced.

For many years, I had believed the Ka’un to be immortal. But no. They can be killed. And many have been, over the aeons.

And those that survive are few. They are tired. Their hopes and dreams have all died. Their loves and desires have decayed into distant memories.

And Minos, I believe, after all these aeons, is beginning to regret the many terrible things he has done.

Sai-ias?

I am here.

Tell me of your art.

Art? Why do you ask? My people have no art!

None? No poetry? No paintings? No sculpture?

Our life is our art.

Minos laughed; a sound that made my head throb.

Good reply.

We believe each child born is a work of art; thus, we raise it to be pure and true and beautiful of spirit.

Even better.

I did not know what painting was until I came to the Hell Ship.

You have gained something then, in your time here. A ray of hope to be found in your otherwise dismal plight!

You taunt me.

Forgive me-I was merely teasing you. I am allowed to tease, am I not? I was an artist you see. I painted with-flame, I suppose you would say. With my own body. I was considered to be a genius.

And then you became a warrior.

I had no choice. I often dream, you know, of giving it all up. Going back to my art.

Giving “it” all up?

You disapprove.

You destroy worlds!

I can’t bear you to disapprove of me Sai-ias.

You are a murderer.

I care about you. You are my friend. I sometimes think you are my only friend.

You are a monster!

Perhaps I was. But I can change. You can help me change.

Can I?

I would like you to.

Then-you must surrender the ship to its captives. And if you do, we will be merciful to you. This I pledge; you have the word of Sai-ias!

You know I can’t do that, you sweet-souled beast. I wouldn’t be allowed to do such a thing! Lyraii and Darol would not permit it. You don’t understand what leadership is. You cannot be a leader if others do not follow.

Even so, you must do what you can, Minos. The killing and the destroying of worlds must come to an end.

I agree.

You agree?

You have persuaded me. We can change. I can change. We can wage peace instead of war! If you help me, Sai-ias. Only if you help me!

How do I know I can believe you?

You have to trust me. As I trust you. Do you trust me Sai-ias?

Yes, I thought at him; yes, I do!

Minos’s pledge was extraordinary; but for me, it came as no surprise.

For I have always believed in certain fundamental truths: that love is more powerful than evil. And that even the worst and cruellest sinners can be redeemed, and brought to virtue. That is my faith and my philosophy.

For a sentient soul is not a fixed and immutable thing; it can grow, evolve, become better and wiser, as truth and love are absorbed by it. And my kind pride ourselves on our ability to turn dark souls into bright souls; to leach out evil and encourage good. I was telling the truth when I advised Minos that for us, life is art; we have raised up many species into noble sentience, and of this we are proud.

And as for Minos-the new, kinder, peace-loving, spiritually redeemed Minos-perhaps his transformation may be considered my own and greatest “work of art?”

Minos’s voice was in my head every time I woke from dreamless sleep. Wake Sai-ias, it’s me!

And it was there when I trained in the arts of war with my fellow giant sentients: Well fought, Sai-ias, I am proud of you!-Bravo Sai-ias!-Deftly done, Sai-ias, you are a marvel! And it was there too for long portions of the day, all day long.

Here’s a thought, Sai-ias… Have you ever wondered, Sai-ias, if… Won’t it be marvellous, Sai-ias, when…