Nicholas Sparks - Safe Haven

These were the questions that tormented him, and sometimes it was so confusing he couldn’t stop crying because he missed her and wanted her to come home and he hated to be alone. But other times, the thought that she had left him made him dwell on how selfish she was and all he wanted to do was kill her.

July rolled in with the breath of dragons: hot and moist and horizons that shimmered like a mirage when seen from a distance. The holiday weekend passed and another week started. The air conditioner had broken in his home and Kevin hadn’t called the repairman. He had a headache every morning when he went to work. Trial and error proved that vodka worked better than Tylenol, but the pain was always there, pounding in his temple. He’d stopped going to the library, and Coffey and Ramirez asked about his wife again and he said that she was fine but said nothing else about her and then he changed the subject. He got a new partner named Todd Vannerty, who’d just been promoted. He was happy to let Kevin do most of the questioning when they talked to witnesses and victims, and that was fine with Kevin.

Kevin told him that, almost always, the victim knew the murderer. But not always in an obvious way. At the end of their first week together, they were called out to an apartment less than three blocks from the precinct, where they found a ten-year-old boy who’d died of a bullet wound. The shooter was a recent emigrant from Greece who had been celebrating a Greek soccer victory when he’d fired his gun at the floor. The bullet passed through the ceiling of the apartment below him and killed the boy just as he was taking a bite of pizza. The bullet entered the top of his head and the boy fell face-first into his pizza. When they saw the boy, there was cheese and tomato sauce on the boy’s forehead. His mother had screamed and cried for two hours and had tried to tackle the Greek as he was led down the stairs in handcuffs. She ended up tumbling down to the landing and they’d had to call an ambulance.

Kevin and Todd went to a bar after their shift ended and Todd tried to pretend he could forget what he’d seen, but he drank three beers in less than fifteen minutes. He told Kevin that he’d failed his detective exam once, before finally passing it. Kevin drank vodka, though because Todd was with him, he told the bartender to add a splash of cranberry juice.

It was a cop bar. Lots of cops, low prices, dim lights, and women who liked to hook up with cops. The bartender let people smoke, even though it was against the law, since most of the smokers were cops. Todd wasn’t married and had been there often. Kevin had never been there before and wasn’t sure he liked it, but he didn’t want to go home, either.

Todd went to the bathroom and when he came back, he leaned closer to Kevin.

“I think those two at the end of the bar are checking us out.”

Kevin turned. Like him, the women appeared to be around thirty. The brunette noticed him staring before she turned back to her redheaded friend.

“Too bad you’re married, huh? They look pretty good.”

They looked worn, Kevin thought. Not like Erin, who had clear skin and smelled of lemon and mint and the perfume he’d bought her for Christmas.

“Go ahead and talk to them if you want,” Kevin said.

“I think I will,” Todd said. Todd ordered another beer and walked to the end of the bar and smiled. He probably said something stupid, but it was enough to make the women laugh. Kevin ordered a double vodka, no cranberry juice, and saw their reflection in the mirror behind the bar. The brunette met his eyes in the mirror, and he didn’t turn away. Ten minutes later, she sauntered over and took a seat on the stool that Todd had been occupying.

“Not feeling social tonight?” the brunette asked.

“I’m not good at small talk.”

The brunette seemed to consider this. “I’m Amber,” she said.

“Kevin,” he replied, and again, he didn’t know what to say. He took a drink, thinking it tasted almost like water.

The brunette leaned toward him. She smelled musky, not like lemon and mint. “Todd says that the two of you work homicide.”

“We do.”

“Is that hard?”

“Sometimes,” he said. He finished his drink and raised the glass. The bartender brought another over. “What do you do?”

“I’m an office manager at my brother’s bakery. He makes rolls and bread products for restaurants.”

“That sounds interesting.”

She gave a cynical smile. “No, it doesn’t. And it’s not, but it pays the bills.” Her teeth flashed white in the gloom. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

“Todd brought me.”

She nodded in Todd’s direction. “Him, I’ve seen. He hits on anything in a skirt who’s still breathing. And I think the breathing part is optional. My friend loves it here, but usually I can’t stand the place. She makes me come with her.”

Kevin nodded and shifted on his stool. He wondered if Coffey and Ramirez ever came here.

“Am I boring you?” she asked. “I can leave you alone if you’d like.”

“You’re not boring me.”

She flipped her hair and Kevin thought she was prettier than he’d first realized. “Would you like to buy me a drink?” she suggested.

“What would you like?”

“Cosmopolitan,” she said, and Kevin signaled to the bartender. The cosmopolitan arrived.

“I’m not very good at this,” Kevin admitted.

“Not good at what?”

“This.”

“We’re just talking,” she said. “And you’re doing fine.”

“I’m married.”

She smiled. “I know. I saw your ring.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Like I said, we’re just talking.”

She ran a finger along her glass and he could see the moisture collect on the tip.

“Does your wife know you’re here?” she asked.

“My wife is out of town,” he said. “Her friend is sick and she’s helping her out.”

“And so you thought you’d hit the bars? Meet some women?”

“I’m not like that,” Kevin said tightly. “I love my wife.”

“You should. Since you married her, I mean.”

He wanted another double vodka but didn’t want to order it in front of her, since he’d already done so. Instead, as if reading his mind, she signaled to the bartender and he brought over another one. Kevin took a large gulp, still thinking it tasted like water.

“Is it okay that I did that?” she asked.

“It’s okay,” he said.

She stared at him, her expression sultry. “I wouldn’t tell your wife that you were here if I were you.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because you’re way too handsome for a place like this. You never know who would try to hit on you.”

“Are you hitting on me?”

It took her a moment to answer. “Would you be offended if I said yes?”

He spun the glass slowly on the bar. “No,” he said, “I wouldn’t be offended.”

After drinking and flirting for another two hours, they ended up at her place. Amber understood that he wanted to be discreet and gave him her address. After Amber and her friend left, Kevin stayed in the bar with Todd for another half hour before he told Todd that he had to get home so he could call Erin.

When he drove, the world blurred around the edge of his vision. His thoughts were jumbled and confusing and he knew he was swerving but he was a good detective. Even if he was stopped, he wouldn’t be arrested because cops don’t arrest other cops, and what were a few drinks?

Amber lived in an apartment a few blocks away from the bar. He knocked at the door, and when she opened it she was wearing nothing beneath the sheet she had wrapped around her. He kissed her and carried her to the bedroom and felt her fingers unbuttoning his shirt. He placed her on the bed and undressed and turned out the light because he didn’t want to be reminded that he was cheating on his wife. Adultery was a sin and now that he was here he didn’t want to have sex with her, but he’d been drinking and the world appeared smudged and she’d been wearing nothing except a sheet and it was all so confusing.