Rob Thurman - Basilisk

A genius who took yoga.

She raised her hips off the seat, lunged forward, wrapped her long legs around the metal extension of the driver’s headrest, and proceeded to do her best to choke Raynor to death. Having had a tracheotomy, he was down by ten points already. He couldn’t scream through his mouth and he couldn’t scream through his speaking valve either. Her knees—damn sexy knees—covered that completely. I could see her thighs ripple with muscle as she tightened the grip.

The fact that I was looking at her thighs while the car was careening across the interstate was not my fault. Her skirt was short to begin with. Now it was up around her waist as she did her best to save our lives. The saving-our-lives part should’ve distracted me from her panties, tiny and green with pink bows on each side, but it didn’t . . . and were those rhinestones glittering below her navel and disappearing under her panties? I had the feeling I now knew what “vajazzled” meant.

That was when the car hit the guardrail and flipped. There wasn’t anything I could do to prepare myself, chained as I was, except for bracing my legs against the floor. My head slammed against the window, then against the seat in front of me. I hung upside down briefly, the cuffs tearing at my wrists. My skin gave way where the metal didn’t. Abruptly we were back upright. Outside I saw tufts of dried grass and I guessed we’d gone completely over the rail and down a mild embankment. Raynor was unconscious and Ariel was now in the front passenger seat. Whether she’d been thrown there or had climbed didn’t matter. She was making the most of the moment.

“Where’s the key?” she demanded, her skirt fluttering back down into place. For the second time in days I was damning gravity. “Misha, this is an escape, okay? Stop looking at my ass and tell me where this son of a bitch put the key to your chains.”

I avoided the ass issue—there was no correct comment for that. If I was looking at her ass, then I was too perverted to care about saving my life, and if I wasn’t looking, then she’d want to know why I wasn’t looking. I went with the simple truth. “I don’t know. I was unconscious when he put them on me.” More like three-fourths dead, but we didn’t need to go into that. “Check his suit pocket, then his pants pocket.”

“Oh, fun for me. Having to stick my hand next to a psycho’s wienerschnitzel.” She searched his suit jacket pockets first and found nothing. “Wonderful,” she snapped before gamely going into his pants pocket. “Whoops, I was wrong. Not a wienerschnitzel. Closer to a cocktail weenie. Doesn’t it figure. Massive ego, teeny weenie. Ah ha!” Triumphantly, she held up the keys, reached across him to undo the childproof locks to the doors, and had me unchained in less than three seconds. “Don’t look so worried, Misha.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not an S&M queen. I worked as a magician’s assistant one summer. I can also hold my breath for three minutes under water. You wouldn’t believe how popular that made me when I turned eighteen.”

I could imagine all right and now wasn’t the time for it, but for once my body didn’t obey me. I found out it was not impossible to run with an erection, but it was somewhat uncomfortable. We headed away from the interstate. No one was going to pick up two people hitching for a ride at four in the morning and I didn’t want to run into any police. That was a complication to avoid. I hated leaving Raynor alive, but if I had been the killer I refused to be, I couldn’t kill him in front of Ariel anyway. That would be a much bigger complication than the police.

That meant we ran. If only two hours had passed since Raynor had kidnapped me from the motel in Springerville, we were still in Arizona. All we had to do was find a phone and have Stefan and Saul come get us. However, in the ambient light of a sickle moon, it looked as if we were in a popular Arizona attraction, the Petrified Forest. There weren’t a lot of phones there. Petrified or otherwise.

Ariel leaped over fallen stone tree trunks with as much grace and style as if it were an event in the Olympics and she were being judged. All tens. She also didn’t stumble a single time. Considering we were away from the highway lights and going by the limited light of the moon, that was impressive. I didn’t stumble either, but chimeras had excellent night vision and mine had only become better as I matured, the same as everything else.

“You have great night vision,” I said as we ran, neither of us winded so far.

“You have no idea. My brother, not the hacker, but my other brother, is a pilot. His vision is twenty-ten. My whole family is freakishly talented, apart from my sister. She’s four and tells everyone she’s an alien or a visitor from an alternate dimension, depending on her mood. She collects toy horses, then covers them up with little blankets for bedtime, except she covers them all up—including their heads. Her room looks like a fluffy pink horse morgue. She also wants to design shoes made out of human hair. She doesn’t say where she’s going to get the human hair, though, so when I go home to visit, I tend to lock the door. By the way, I was going to ask if that was a ferret in your pocket or were you just happy to see me, but I already saw the hard-on, so I’ll just go with nice ferret.”

I grinned. With Ariel, there was no point in being embarrassed or you’d spend every minute of the day bright red. “Thanks. His name’s Godzilla.”

“The ferret or your penis?”

“I’ll let you guess.” I stopped to get my bearings. Looking up at the position of the stars, I started running again, bearing to the right.

“With my night vision and the ability to visually measure to within approximately one centimeter, do you really want me to?” She was laughing again. Not many people laughed after being kidnapped, being involved in a car wreck, and having to use yoga skills to choke out an evil son of a bitch.

Godzilla poked his head farther out of my jacket pocket and chirped curiously. “I think I’d rather you didn’t. Godzilla, meet Ariel. Ariel, meet Godzilla. He bites pretty much every chance he gets. I think the Visitor Center is this way. We can call for help.”

I didn’t say call my brother. I’d been careful not to give out any details about Stefan or to mention that he even existed when e-mailing or talking to Ariel. I’d been taking a risk with her from the beginning by investigating the genetics issue, and growing to know each other hadn’t made the risk any less. I hadn’t been willing to add Stefan into that mix. When she asked about family, I told her my parents were dead and my sister had been in the Peace Corps but died in a plane crash in Africa. That tended to limit questions and made me as sympathetic an orphan as a grown man could possibly be.

“It is? How do you know? Have you been here before? You know, when you weren’t running from a crazed psychopath with deep, dark, and mysterious designs on you that you haven’t bothered to explain yet?”

Since I’d met Ariel online, I’d noticed she never used one word when five hundred would do. Just as she never wore one color when there were at least seven right at hand. “Yes, I’ve been here before.” I picked the question that could get me in the least amount of trouble. And saying, no, but I had memorized the maps of every state we’d passed through so far in case escape routes were needed wasn’t something I was willing to offer. It wasn’t as if I could pass it off as an interesting hobby.

“So, if we find the Visitor Center”—she sailed over another petrified tree—“and we break in to use their phone, who are we going to call? That guy’s government, the kind of government that the government itself barely knows exists. He can eat police for breakfast and make prisoners disappear forever. The police can’t help us with whatever bizarre thing you’re involved in. Oh, hey, my little sister would kill me if I didn’t ask: Are you an alien? This is just like all the movies where peaceful aliens come to Earth and the evil government tries to dissect them. Although I highly doubt any alien would come here. I believe in aliens. Trillions upon trillions of galaxies; we can’t be the only intelligent life out there. But with all our fighting, wars, disease, poverty, and reality TV, we’re like the meth–central, white-trash trailer park of our corner of the Milky Way. No alien would stop here to gas up. And who could blame them?”