Michael Hudson - Thieves of Light

"I have to go down after the crystal-" he said as a Reg came up to him and relieved him of his burden.

"Forget it," Pike barked from the hatchway, waving Bhodi in. "The clock's run out. Come on. This isn't going to be a very good place to be."

A minute later, the pod was screeching spaceward at maximum lift, while a poisonous black cloud boiled furiously upward and outward from the crater. All through the ascent, Bhodi stared down at the growing blemish on the face of the planet.

"I killed him," he said mournfully.

"No, you didn't," Parcival said, slipping into the seat beside him. "He was recalled to his ship. A hit on the chest pod breaks a trap-loop circuit and throws them back to their ship. For a while we were fighting the nasty myth that the Arrians aren't real-just projections, impossible to kill. Well, it's not impossible. But it's hard-as you saw."

"But that was Evan Kyley-my friend-"

Parcival nodded. "I know."

"You knew?" Bhodi demanded angrily, turning away from the window for the first time.

"The Sixth recruited him a year ago. He was captured in a fight on Deranis, and the Warlord made an experiment of him." Parcival shook his head. "He's not the person you knew. He's controlled completely by his implants."

"Why wasn't I told?"

"I don't know," Parcival said. "I guess you think I should have told you."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Sorry, Bhodi. The Sarge gave us very clear orders. He didn't explain them."

"The Sarge," Bhodi echoed, craning his head to look around the cabin. "Where is he?"

"Down below, in an ice tank-"

Bhodi swallowed. "Then he's-"

"Ice as in isolation, not as in 'on ice.' "

A sigh of relief. "How is he?"

"Not good, thanks to Mandarr. Not dead, thanks to you." Parcival glanced forward. "There's Zephyr coming up. Almost home."

"No," Bhodi said, looking back at the shadowed face of the planet. "Nowhere near home."

Li-hon was transferred directly from the pod's ice tank to one in Zephyr's tiny sick bay. He stayed there most of the way back to Intellistar, insensible to the world, healing his wounds with the remarkable regenerative power of the Qeth. The hole in his side closed over; new fingers grew where charred stubs had been; the crust covering the right half of his skull fell away to reveal new skin, pale green and unweathered.

When he opened his eyes at last, what he saw made him smile. Pike was perched on the edge of the adjoining bed, intently practicing card tricks which had economic rather than entertainment value.

"I guess I missed the last hand."

"Kind of," Pike said, looking up with a pleased expression on his face and letting the cards fall easily into one hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Hungry. I've been hurt worse. How did it fall out?"

"A mixed bag. We lost two-B'ere'a and Yiaj-"

"Was it Mandarr?"

"Yes."

"Did we get him?"

"No. Bhodi took him on-"

"Bhodi?"

"He was all right. Wait until you see the battle films from Kree-tih's camera. But the clock ran down before either of them could make a kill."

"Then we lost Ehl, too."

"Yes."

Li-hon frowned and shook his head. "The Arrians have always been tough, real tough. But up till now, they've never been smart fighters," he reflected. "If the other Arrian commanders start following Mandarr's example, we're going to be in for a hell of time."

"Tomorrow's worry," Pike said. Then he added cheerfully, "We got two of the three crystals back."

"Did we! That's something," Li-hon said, settling back in the tank. "That and what I saw happen to Bhodi Li almost add up to a win."

Pike's expression darkened. "I should have said something sooner-"

"What?"

"It looks like Bhodi was a casualty, too. He's been in a shell since we left Cavalon, keeping to himself, not talking to anyone. It's different than the last time, though-not sulky. Something else, I don't know what."

"I think I do," Li-hon said slowly. "Let me sleep for a couple of hours. Then send him to me."

No one Christopher Jarvis had been close to had ever died, so he did not know if what he had been feeling since the fight on Ehl could be called mourning. Part of the problem was that he couldn't decide exactly which loss he was feeling more keenly-or even exactly when it had been lost.

He had lost Evan, that was for certain. There had been several points at which Bhodi had decided to stick it out precisely because he knew that he could have everything back simply by going home. But he no longer had that comfort. Evan was not backpacking across the country, too busy or too lazy to write. He was forever out of reach, fighting for the Warlord of Arr, made a traitor to his home world by a forest of wires buried in his brain.

But Bhodi had lost something else, too. Once and for all, he had learned that it was not a game. It had been a hard lesson, and long in coming. Even the skirmish at Majestic had not made the point-the one dead crew member he'd seen seemed like a prop, and the real violence had taken place off-stage, inside the ship and on top of the cliff. But when B'ere'a had screamed, and Li-hon went down, Bhodi had lost at last the lingering illusion that sometime the lights would come up and the players all go home.

Evan would not be going home. B'ere'a would not be going home. All comforts, all illusions, were gone-and perhaps that was what Bhodi was mourning.

It was on the heels of that insight that Pike came by with the message that Li-hon wanted to see him. Bhodi accepted the news with equanimity. He was not looking forward to hearing Li-hon's critique of his performance on Ehl, but there were things he needed to talk to the sergeant about.

He found Li-hon out of the ice tank and sitting on the edge of the surgical table. He was dressed in station fatigues, but bootless and beltless. Bhodi was amazed at how quickly his wounds had healed.

"Are you the same guy we put in here?" Bhodi asked. "I guess I don't have to ask you if you're going to be all right."

"Good genes," Li-hon said, smiling and tapping his chest. "How do you think I attract so many ladies?"

Bhodi smiled wryly. "You're probably wondering if I'm going to be all right," he said. "I guess Pike told you I've been hiding out."

"He did."

"Well-I had some things to think about." Bhodi paused, his head cocked to one side as he considered his next words.

"Such as-"

"If Mandarr could be captured-could he be helped?"

"It's possible," Li-hon said, not surprised by the question. "It's not likely. We don't have much experience with the kind of tampering he's been subjected to. And capturing him's not something you can take on yourself personally. We're fighting across a thousand-light-year front. The fact is that the Ninth may never come up against Mandarr again."

Bhodi flashed a quick, wistful smile. "I had to ask," he said. "Something else. Parcival said you gave orders for people not to talk to me about Mandarr-"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You had too many selfish reasons for what you were doing. I didn't want to give you another one."

"That's fair," Bhodi said with a nod. "Was he part of the reason you recruited me?"

Li-hon crossed his arms over his chest. "In a coldly strategic sense, yes. I don't like the Warlord to have any asset that we can't balance. But I never planned to send you out to face him one-on-one as you were forced to do on Ehl. We fight as a platoon. There's no room for personal vendettas."

Bhodi seemed satisfied with that answer, too. "About going home-"

"I understand," Li-hon said with a barely audible sigh. "I'll see that your return is arranged, as I promised."

"You don't understand," Bhodi said. "I was wondering whether my training will pick up right away, or whether there'd be a chance to go back and take care of some things first. I'd like to get my family off that phantom timeline. And then I'd like to pick a better time and way to disappear, do a better job of saying goodbye. Because one of these times I might not come back."