Michael Hudson - Thieves of Light

The voice of the First Guardian broke the silence in the nearly deserted platoon room. "Nar-lex-ko-li-hon."

The lizard grunted. "I've been expecting to hear from you, First Guardian."

"Then you understand it is time for an accounting of your stewardship of young Bhodi Li."

"I do."

"Following the maze test last week, Bhodi Li did not report to you as ordered."

"No."

"He then feigned illness to escape two full days of training."

"True."

"Since emerging from his isolation, he has missed thirteen training sessions in nine days-seven with you, five with Haj-til-ko-van, and one with Parcival."

Li-hon's forehead wrinkled. "When was that last?"

"This morning."

"Parcival hadn't notified me."

"Parcival is attempting to locate Bhodi Li and resolve the matter on his own," said the First Guardian.

"Attempting to locate? Don't you know where Bhodi is?"

"Yes and no. Bhodi Li is somewhere in Dracona."

"Oh."

"He has not even bothered to offer an excuse for these most recent absences."

"That's also true."

"Before we consider its significance, can you explain why you have allowed this behavior?"

Li-hon sighed and stretched his massive right leg. "Because I don't know what else to do."

"Explain."

"He's a human! Is there anyone anywhere on this station who understands how they think? What would you have me do?"

"Bhodi Li must follow orders or be sent home."

"Why exactly should he follow my orders?"

"Because you are the sergeant of the Ninth Platoon, and he is a challenger for the vacancy in that platoon."

"That's the answer from our point of view. But what about from his?"

"I fail to see why there should be a difference."

"So did I, at first. But there is. He wasn't sent here by his planet's government, like most of us. He's here on his own. A volunteer, taking part as far as he has for personal reasons."

"He was told of the threat to the Light and to Earth."

"He's not yet one with the Alliance. And Bhodi feels no spiritual identification with his planet, or moral obligation to his species as a whole."

"If this is true of humans generally, then there is little hope for their survival irrespective of the Arrian menace," said the First Guardian.

"I know that all too well. It's the same sickness that nearly destroyed my people," Li-hon said somberly.

"So we cannot expect Bhodi to act out of duty. But it is not clear to me how Bhodi's behavior serves even his selfish interests."

"It doesn't. In my estimation, he now believes that we mean to never allow him his third refusal-that he'll never be a Guardian. He's begun to blame us instead of himself for his failure."

"He is likely right, on both counts. Your decision to allow him to attempt the maze room appears to have destroyed him."

Li-hon twitched his tail. "I didn't expect him to win. That was the whole point-to drive out the arrogance coming in the wake of that fluky victory over Kil Vander. To teach him that he had more to learn."

"You should have anticipated the possibility of his success and its consequences."

"It shouldn't have happened." Li-hon smacked the top of the battle board with one meaty fist. "I had three of the best Guardians on-station fighting as the black force. He had no peepers, no squealers, no partner, and no experience. I didn't figure he had better than one chance in a thousand of beating the warren."

"How do you account for the fact that he did? There appeared to be little chance involved in this victory, as opposed to the Vander matter."

"It's my fault."

"The responsibility is yours. But it seemed to me that your black force defended the warren very poorly."

"It seemed that way to me, too," Li-hon said glumly. "They were in too much of a hurry. The defender has all the advantages. They didn't exploit them the way they should have."

"Have you analyzed why?"

"I did better than that. I had a pointed discussion with them about their performance."

"And?"

"And they agreed they had done poorly."

"You are being obstinate."

Li-hon folded his hands and rested them on his abdomen. "Look, it's not entirely their fault. They're all top fighters, but we're not talking about maze players of the stature of Calder Quinn or Jo-let-jin. Bhodi would never have beaten a team that included either of them, even in a fairer fight. My team had only been in the maze on defense a half dozen times between them."

Li-hon rapped the point of his jaw with his fist in a gesture of self-reproach. "I was in too much of a hurry myself. I should have done a more thorough job of prepping them. Or waited until I had a stronger Arr force on-station."

"You do not need to protect your Guardians from me, Nar-lex-ko-li-hon. Tell me what you learned."

Li-hon flicked his tongue against his front canines restively. "The big problem seems to have been that they knew who the invader was going to be-"

"Outrageous. Who broke security?"

"Everyone and no one. Tongues wag. It doesn't matter. They knew it was Bhodi, and they were eager to put him in his place. Too eager. News of some of his antics have reached the ears of the Guardian community, you see-"

"I'm aware of the stories in circulation."

"Then you understand their motivation-professional pride."

"Yes-the Guardians have their own arrogance. And it was a factor in their performance."

"Yes," Li-hon said. "I underestimated Bhodi to some degree, but they underestimated him even more. And that helped him beat them."

"Very well," the First Guardian said. "I accept your explanation of the incident. What is your explanation of Bhodi Li's present behavior?"

"I believe the term humans use is 'sulking.' "

"And what is the cure for sulking?"

"Sulking isn't the problem," Li-hon said. "I said that he wanted to become a Guardian for personal reasons. That's what has to change. He wanted to feel important. He needs to want to do something important. Then he'll be ready for his ring."

"How do you propose to effect this transformation?"

Li-hon sighed. "It may already be too late. I thought it would have happened already. I thought it would come with exposure to you, to this place, to the rest of the platoon. I thought he would realize how serious this is. But nothing seems to reach him. All I've managed to do is alternately frustrate and frighten him."

"Have you showed him battle recordings from the war?"

"I have."

"What was his reaction?"

"The fact is, he seemed to have no lasting reaction at all," Li-hon said. "I don't understand it."

"Yes," said the First Guardian. "That is what I would have expected. Bhodi Li is handicapped by the entertainment modalities of his homeworld."

"Oh? How?"

"The visual arts are used for fiction on Earth-"

"Blessed light-are they that ignorant? The visual arts should be reserved for that which is either true or taken-as-true."

"Clearly they do not understand the seductive power of the illusions they create. Bhodi Li has seen so much fighting and so much death that was not real that it is difficult for him to fully credit what he sees now."

"Yes," Li-hon said thoughtfully. "It makes sense. And it explains a lot. It explains why he constantly puts himself first-because only his own feelings and own danger are real. And it gives me an idea-but you're not going to like it."

"Tell me your idea, Nar-lex-ko-li-hon, not what I'm supposed to think of it."

Li-hon raised his folded hands up under his chin. "I want to take him out on a sortie and let him see with his own eyes what we're fighting. It's the only thing now that can shock him into maturity."

"I cannot sanction awarding a ring to Bhodi Li on the basis of such faint hope."