Anthony DeCosmo - Disintegration

Trevor shoved breakfast into his mouth and spoke as he chewed, "I see you were well on your way to that Masters degree in Political Science. I bet you have all the bases covered."

Evan smiled smugly.

"I can provide a written proposal."

"All the bases, except for one tinsy-wheenie oversight."

Godfrey leaned forward, "Oh? What’s that?"

Trevor grew deadly serious. Nasty, even.

"The real world. Do you hear yourself? Health care? Education? Business opportunities? Are you kidding me?"

Godfrey drew back and blinked as if slapped. Dante laughed.

"I’ll bet you got straight A’s in political science but guess what, all the politicians are dead. The world you spent your life getting ready for is gone. I thought you would have learned that when a couple of aliens nearly had you for dinner."

Evan tried to interject: "I know that but we have-"

"The only health care you have to worry about is battlefield medicine. From this day forward, education is as much about the target range as it is A-B-Cs. Job opportunities? Sure, we'll need foot soldiers, pilots, and artillerymen."

Trevor tapped the table and locked his eyes on Godfrey who shrunk in his seat.

"You need to understand something that may save your life and the lives of people around you. The old games of politics and business deals on the golf course are done. We are at war. When I say ‘we’ I mean every man, woman and child. We are at war for survival. As a species. Billions of people around this planet have been slaughtered. We have no time for social structures and governments. I’m sorry, Evan, but all that time you spent lining up your political ducks was wasted. Welcome back to the stone age."

Godfrey found the strength to object. "So, what do we do? We just go along without a bureaucracy? If the estate continues to grow, it will become a city, then a state, and then a nation. The people have no say? It will all be led by Trevor Stone?"

"The bureaucracy you love so much failed us when Armageddon came. It sputtered, jammed, and fell apart like the big broken machine it was."

"But who will govern? What happened to democracy?"

"Democracy is a luxury we cannot afford. There is only one purpose for our lives from this moment until the end: To fight. The children born today are tomorrow’s soldiers. If that’s not enough, then our children’s children will take up arms and fight! We will kill every damned creature that does not belong on our planet. It will take decades; maybe centuries."

"That’s all I have to look forward to? War and fighting? That's not a life worth living."

Trevor said, "It's the debt you owe everyone who came before us. If we fail, then everything humanity ever was or ever could be is gone. We fight until we win or die trying."

Dante broke in, "So, the handful of us who live here are going to re-take the world?"

"Don’t be an ass, Dante. We fight and expand. We do it smart, we do it slow. We find more survivors. We improve our food and weapons. Eventually we build industry. Don’t worry; there will be musicians to entertain the troops and playwrights to take the peoples' minds off the horrors for a while. But it will all be about war."

Godfrey sneered, "And Trevor Stone, what a terrible burden to be the despot charged with making all the decisions, leading all the battles."

Trevor felt the weight of the third gift: memories to give him the skill to lead but carrying the price of dying moments, lost dreams, and sad good byes. The weight of the world.

"Be thankful, Evan, that you will never know that burden."

– Trevor put his argument with Evan behind and took advantage of a dose of November sunshine that pushed the temperature to the high fifties and melted away the dusting of snow from last night. Of course, those temperatures would certainly drop come dark and more snow could come at any time.

Nonetheless, the break in the weather pointed him to outside projects around the estate, such as raking leaves off the driveway and replacing burned-out floodlights. Around noon, he turned his attention to the main gate, which had been operating sluggishly.

With a can of WD-40 in hand, he approached the gate. On the way, he saw Omar’s six-year-old son and eleven-year-old daughter kicking a soccer ball in front of their A-Frame home, Reverend Johnny drove past in a Humvee setting off to scavenge for supplies, and Jon Brewer sat against a tree cleaning his rifle.

As Trevor went to work on the gate mechanism, he spotted Jerry Shepherd closing in on the boathouse with a fishing rod, cooler of beer, and a shotgun. Trevor also noticed Lori Brewer returning from the K9 barn. Both change directions and joined Trevor at the gate.

"Funny weather, ain't it?" Shep said. "Snow last night; almost Spring-like today."

Trevor replied, "I'll take it. Winter is going to mean more than cold days; it's going to mean real problems. Think of it-no snowplows, for one, and we'll be burning through heating fuel fast. Probably end up cutting down half the trees around the lake by February."

Lori said, "On the bright side, look who's coming."

Nina hurried to the three. She wore an oversized grin and carried both a backpack and rifle. Her peppy speech sounded as awkward in her voice as the grin looked on her face.

"Hey, what’s up?"

Shepherd eyed her suspiciously.

Trevor volleyed with not a hint of suave, "What’s up with you?"

"I was thinking it’s such a beautiful day out. Well, I packed a lunch and thought I’d take a hike up the mountain. Sort of a picnic patrol."

Shepherd wiggled a finger in his ear. "A what?"

Nina spoke only to Trevor: "Thought you might like to join me."

"Oh," Trevor stumbled. "I, um, got to fix this fence here. Maybe later."

Nina wiped her smile away. "Well, I guess I’ll go it alone."

She walked off along the road with her shoulders slumped.

Shepherd shrugged and headed toward the dock. Lori punched Trevor in the exact same place she hit him two weeks ago.

"What the hell?"

"God damn it, can’t you see her reaching out? You’ve been an idiot in your lifetime but this takes the cake. For her to do what she just did…I mean, that is one shy girl."

"I don’t know-"

"If you don’t care about Nina, if she’s nothing more than a soldier to you, then let her walk away. But I know that’s not the truth. I see how you look at her. Go ahead, call her a killer and treat her like a hired gun, but you can’t hide your feelings from me. I know you too well."

Trevor slung his head.

"It’s…it’s not that simple. Ashley…"

"Ashley is gone. She’s been gone for months. You could die tomorrow. We all could. You’ve grieved enough. This is a miserable new world but maybe you have a chance to have a little happiness. Go, chase her down."

They watched Nina, trotting along the road toward the forest by herself.

"Don’t be afraid to take a chance on someone. That’s what being human is all about."

After a moment of silence, he offered Lori a slim grin.

"You know, you can be a real bitch."

"That's what friends are for."

He placed a peck on her head, then pursued Nina calling, "Hey! Wait up a sec!"

Shepherd heard the call and returned to Lori who watched from afar as Trevor and Nina shared some words then started toward the mountain together.

Shepherd-rod, cooler, and shotgun in hand-asked Lori, "What was that about?"

Pleased with herself, she answered, "Love. It’s all about new love."

"Love?" Shepherd shook his head slowly. "I’ve known Nina for a long time. I hope someday she does fall in love but I reckon when she does it won’t look like that. "

– Trevor followed Nina up the path. He could not help but eye her. She was…she was beautiful. He had noticed that before but always forced those thoughts from his mind. It did not seem right to think about someone other than Ashley, as if he were betraying her.