Kameron Hurley - God's War

“Indeed. Nikodem’s sisters did not relish the idea of her spreading our secrets or theirs. Nikodem was a bit of a rogue.”

“Was she, now?”

The queen smiled. “It is best that no one knows how my puzzle is put together, Nyxnissa. Nikodem was merely young and foolish and infatuated with a new world. Now she has been reined in. Now we can continue with our work.”

“My sister—”

“Your sister’s work was not for Nikodem’s eyes, or Chenja’s. I’m glad they’ve been destroyed, though I am sorry for the loss of your sister. I heard the bel dame council had several rogues working against you. How much did you learn of your sister’s work?”

“Didn’t even try to get past the security,” Nyx said. “I had enough on my plate.” This lie was outright, but she looked the queen in the face when she said it, and when the queen met her look, something hung there between them—the knowledge that they were both lying their asses off.

“That’s best for all involved, I’m sure.” The queen placed her hands on the edge of the bench and turned away to stare into the tank. “It is best you do not concern yourself with certain things, Nyxnissa. Do you wish to discuss money?”

“You’ve already been pretty generous.”

“I’m unable to provide properly for you, but perhaps a yearly allowance is in order for a few years, at least, to keep your work honest.”

Or to keep me in your pocket, Nyx thought. She watched a giant creature with a great tail fin and enormous teeth snake by. The room was too cold. She didn’t like not being able to see the sky.

“That’s pretty generous,” Nyx said, “but I think I’ll be all right.”

“I heard you have a love of the ocean,” the queen said, gesturing to the tank. “I heard a rumor that you’d like to retire to the coast.”

Nyx started. A love of the ocean ? Of water ?

“Yeah? Who told you that?”

“There are many such things in your file.”

Nyx frowned. She remembered a hot, dusty night, tangled in the arms of a young, losing boxer, leaning into her, saying, “Don’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you…” She had told Jaks all about the dream of fruity drinks on the beach in Tirhan that night when Jaks took a dive in the cantina outside Faleen. She had lied and told Jaks she loved the ocean and cool water, because Jaks loved the coast and Nyx needed to build up her trust, win her over. Hardened boxers didn’t take just anyone home—especially not if their brothers were wanted by bel dames. Jaks was the only person she’d told that lie, besides Radeyah. Who had Jaks worked for before she started working for Chenja? Had she been one of the queen’s little roaches, purged and exiled for working with the aliens? Working with rogue palace magicians like Yah Tayyib? Had the queen driven her to betray Nasheen? Or given her blessing?

“I suppose you have all sorts of roaches,” Nyx said. “Must be useful to have people like that around when you need something done quietly.”

“Don’t pretend you know what I do and do not have my fingers in, Nyxnissa. Know that what I do, I do for the good of Nasheen.”

“When I was a bel dame, I believed I was killing boys for the good of Nasheen too.”

“And weren’t you? You prevented the deaths of thousands by neutralizing contaminated boys.”

“There are some days I think I would have done us all a bigger favor if I let them kill us.”

“That’s not very optimistic.”

“Oh, I’m an optimist,” Nyx said. “A grim optimist. In any case, it’s your business.”

“I see. So what is it you want? I was curious as to why you wished an audience. I assumed you came seeking more money. It’s what I expect of a hunter.”

“I want a favor.”

“Certainly.”

“I want you to pardon me. Give me back my bel dame license.”

“Only the bel dame council can do that.” Cool fact, no malice, no hint that she’d expected that kind of request.

“Then tell me about the split in the council and why half of it wanted me and Nikodem dead and the other half wanted me and Nikodem alive. Tell me who else is running rogue and who took my license.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.”

“The Queen of fucking Nasheen doesn’t know ?”

The queen smiled; a warm, matronly smile. Nyx saw Kasbah saunter closer to them, one hand twitching. Nyx wondered what kinds of bugs a magician would tailor for palace security. Highly specialized. Highly lethal.

“You should be very careful, Nyxnissa,” the queen said, “that you, too, do not become an enemy of the crown.”

“I want amnesty for my crew. Amnesty from the draft and from past offenses.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“I thought recompense was negotiable?”

“We’re negotiating. How much did Nikodem tell you before the end?”

“Enough.”

“I see.”

“Do you? Do you know what we’re fighting for anymore?”

“Ah,” the queen said. “What we’ve always fought for. Power. Control. Immortality. The world. My mother forgot that. Sometime during the long war, we all forgot that, and the war became our lives. We can’t imagine a time without it. That time needs to end.”

“You think anybody really knows why the war started anymore?”

“Like most Nasheenians, most Chenjans, I don’t care how the war started. I care how it ends.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Nyx stood. “You’ll let me know about the amnesty?”

The queen shook her head. “I heard you lost your team.”

“I promised them they’d get amnesty. All of them.” God help her, she thought of Rhys.

She turned to leave.

“There is an assumption,” the queen said, and Nyx turned back to face her, “that saving as many people as possible is the right thing to do. Soldiers are taught that at the front. It’s why one soldier will throw herself on a mine to save her boys. It’s why a bel dame will track down and kill a frightened young boy whose only crime was fearing death. But sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice many to save a few. We send three hundred into the breach so a squad of elite may get past a city’s defenses. We must decide, in the end, whose life matters most and how many can be sacrificed to preserve those few.”

“Who decides who the best few are?”

“We do, Nyxnissa. We are not so different, you and I.”

“From where I’m standing, you and me don’t have much in common.”

Nyx bowed her head. Kasbah moved to follow her out.

“Nyxnissa?”

She looked back at the queen. “There are no happy endings, Nyxnissa.”

“I know,” Nyx said. “Life keeps going.”

Nyx met Anneke at a little café just around the corner from the palace. Nyx ordered a Green Beetle and thought of better times. Anneke ordered a whiskey and water.

“So, we rich or what?” Anneke asked. She pounded down the whiskey and asked for another.

“Probably so,” Nyx said. “You want to cut and run, set something up for yourself? You’ve got enough to retire on.”

“Might be. Might take me a recreation. Visit some of my sisters, get a place on the coast, do some homesteading. Still got some homesteading out there in the southeast. Would be funny, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

“You heard the bel dames are clearing out of Mushtallah?”

Nyx quirked an eyebrow at her. “Where you hear that?”

“Around. They sold the place on the fifth hill, you know, where you trained. They’re relocating to Amtullah.”

Removing themselves from the queen’s city. Finding a safer staging area. Nyx took a long drink. It was going to be an interesting couple of years.

“What about you, boss? All this moving around. You got money now. Where you going?”