Tad Williams - A Stark And Wormy Knight

SNAIL: S-s-special effects.

PANEL FIVE: THROWBACK pissed — SNAIL looking ASHAMED.

THROWBACK: No way! It was real! From, like, TIME.

SNAIL: Sorry. I can’t help it. I just…say things. They rhyme, sometimes.

COLDBLOODED: What, you trying to be a rapper?

PANEL SIX: ANTHONY has found a DOOR, MARKED “ARMORY”

SNAIL: No, it’s a s-syndrome. I’ve got a…a syndrome.

COLDBLOODED: So do I. It’s called “I’m sick of hearin’ your retarded ass.”

ANTHONY: I think I found the place.

PAGE 17

PANEL ONE: IN THE WEAPONS SHOP with FLAK, a middle-aged black man in a functional BATTLE-SUIT. He looks like he might have been a top-sergeant in the military — very short gray-flecked military cut, no facial hair. He has an unlit cigar in his mouth at almost all times. He’s addressing COLDBLOODED and THROWBACK.

FLAK: You two I got no use for.

THROWBACK: Why? What do you mean?

PANEL TWO: FLAK frowns at THROWBACK.

FLAK: ‘Cause you ain’t got no weapons, stupid.

THROWBACK: You could give us some.

PANEL THREE: FLAK STARES at THROWBACK.

PANEL FOUR: FLAK to THROWBACK.

FLAK: Boy, you have no idea of the countless ways in which I could permanently fuck you up. It’s only because you haven’t yet earned back a single penny for this facility that I’m gonna refrain from ripping off your nutsack right this moment. Go on. You boys get the hell out of here.

PANEL FIVE: FLAK TURNS to ANTHONY and SNAIL. Behind him, THROWBACK and COLDBLOODED are heading briskly for the exit.

FLAK: As for you two, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do for you…

FLAK (Cont.): Special Forces Paladin-class defensive suit. Doesn’t need much but routine maintenance. Stolen?

ANTHONY: Not exactly. Put it this way — I was wearing it when I left. You’ve seen one of these before?

PANEL SIX: FLAK turns to SNAIL.

FLAK: Seen it? Pretty much designed it. And how about YOU, son? That’s an interesting suit you got there. Looks like it’s made of old car parts. Where’d you steal it?

SNAIL: I didn’t. I…I made it.

FLAK: Oh, really? All by your little old self? Where?

SNAIL (Cont.): In shop class.

PANEL SEVEN: FLAK raises an eyebrow.

FLAK: Well, boy, if that’s true, you and I may have a few things to talk about after all…

PAGE 18

PANEL ONE: IN THE COSTUME SHOP, with SAILOR AND OCHO. MINK and DOLLY are just leaving as HEATSEEKER and SNAIL come in. THROWBACK is having a fitting while COLDBLOODED struggles with HOMOPHOBIC PANIC.

SAILOR: Now, when you meet him, ladies, you remember what I told you! I know he’s DELICIOUS — but stay away. He’s got that name for a reason!

SAILOR (Cont.): Oh, look, more BOYS! What was it the Coast Goddess use to say? “Ten men waiting for me? Send one home — I’m tired tonight.”

PANEL TWO: TALKING and WORKING around the COSTUMING TABLE while THROWBACK stands on a LOW STOOL.

SAILOR: Come on in. I’m Sailor. I used to work her, you know — you’ve heard of her, right, Coast Goddess, she had the floating palace, always threatening to shoot Polaris missiles at public buildings? Was SHE Miss Stampy-Crampy most of the time — oh my GOD. That woman just had her bitch on TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN. But the food was pretty good.

SAILOR (Cont.): My handsome Ocho was muscle for Eightball ‘til he got taken down by Twilight Man and all the Eights got laid off. We met at one of the Sultan’s cattle calls. It was the Sultan, wasn’t it? Or was it one of the Crimson Conjuror’s?

Ocho: Yeah, Sultan. What’s this coat thing?

SAILOR: It’s coming off, don’t worry. I’ll say one thing for the Sultan, he was one of the good old TVs.

THROWBACK: A television?

PANEL THREE: SAILOR rolls his eyes.

SAILOR: No, silly boy, Traditional Villains. You might get hit in the jaw a lot, and do some jail time, but when you were working for him you got your check every Friday and you got bailed out in 24 hours or less. Not like Silas Winter. I don’t know why ANYONE works for that mess.

OCHO: Pays good. But he crazy.

SAILOR: Tell me about it. He electrocuted someone I knew to death for bringing him the wrong kind of breakfast! TO DEATH!

PANEL FOUR: THROWBACK has his ARMS PULLED BACK UNCOMFORTABLY because OCHO’S grabbed the back of his HOODIE between SHOULDERS.

THROWBACK: Hey!

OCHO: Look what happen when I grab you coat. Can’t move you arms.

SAILOR: He’s right, we need something less restrictive. And does it all REALLY have to be black?

PANEL FIVE: THROWBACK protesting — he LOVES his COSTUME.

THROWBACK: I wear all these different shirts. It’s my gimmick. And black goes with everything.

SAILOR: Oh my GOD. Yes, it goes with everything, but so do Levis. You don’t see Black Dog wearing 501s, do you? Colonel Breakskull in relaxed-fit Dockers? No, no — there’s such a thing as TOO casual.

PANEL SIX: SAILOR is looking CRITICALLY at THROWBACK. OCHO has THROWBACK’s arms pulled back even TIGHTER — THROWBACK looks like he’s STRANGLING.

SAILOR (Cont.): How about slate gray instead — that’s nice, but not quite so Weekend Goth? Or, well, you’d be surprised at how many things go with teal…

PAGE 19

PANEL ONE: THE DORM — LIGHTS OUT. ANTHONY is strapping on his GEAR by the dim NIGHTLIGHT, getting everything ready. His SUNGLASSES are STILL ON.

ANTHONY THOUGHT CAPTION #1: Locked and loaded. Going into some shit you don’t know — the only certain thing is, you get unlucky, you’re dead, like that poor cop. Like me in the Forces…at Benne Yhaar. Why am I DOING this again?

PANEL TWO: The NIGHTLIGHT, seen from BELOW.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 2: Benne Yhaar — even the name’s still like poison. The place where everything changed.

PANEL THREE: FLASHBACK — the NIGHTLIGHT is now a MOON ABOVE HELICOPTER BLADES.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 3: We had just helped the Northern Alliance take Mazar-al-Sharif. About the time everybody else in Afghanistan was going south after Bin Laden, chasing him into Tora Bora, my squad was sent on a mission north, into the mountains where the borders get crazy — me and Jojo and the rest, accompanying three strangers with the hardest eyes I’d ever seen.

PANEL FOUR: FLASHBACK — THREE WHITE GUYS TALKING, being watched by ANTHONY and his friend JOJO

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 3: I thought they were CIA, but I still don’t know for sure. Could have been Red River or one of the other private firms. They didn’t bother to tell us anything, so I don’t even know the lie.

PANEL FIVE: FLASHBACK — About a DOZEN MEN walking down a MOUNTAIN TRAIL at NIGHT, IN FULL GEAR.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 4: All we knew was that we were going in to secure some kind of site named Benne Yhaar. I dimly grasped that it had something to do with weapons, but like I said, those dudes were close-mouthed. At the time I didn’t even know why us Forces guys were going along, but I found out.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 5: Because they needed RAW MEAT…

PANEL SIX: The SILHOUETTED MEN become the SILHOUETTE of THROWBACK tossing in his BUNK.

THROWBACK: Mmrrnh.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 6: Shit. Focus, Hakim — FOCUS. You got a job here.

PAGE 20

PANEL ONE: ANTHONY is out the OPEN DOOR of their cell/dorm room. He’s still wearing his SUNGLASSES and he’s holding up a little OBJECT like a LIMPET MINE.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 1: Man, I bumped tougher locks than that when I was a freelance removal expert.

PANEL TWO: He sticks the OBJECT on the wall by the CELL.

ANTHONY THOUGHT-CAPTION 2: This is the dangerous part. Either this transponder preempts the digital security cameras and feeds them a loop of the last ninety seconds for as long as I’m out of my dorm room, or cell, or whatever you call it…