Simon Hawke - The Timekeeper Conspiracy

Finn went to the door and opened it, admitting the besotted Gascon just as Bonacieux, dressed in a dirty nightshirt, came out of his bedroom, looking bleary-eyed.

"Ah, Francois!" D'Artagnan said, stumbling into the room. "What brings you here? And Dumas, as well! What a surprise! Is there some occasion that merits this celebration? It is not my birthday, is it?"

"Gentlemen, please!" said Bonacieux. "Cannot a poor man get some sleep? I really must insist on quiet after dark! I am not a young man, I need my rest! Monsieur D'Artagnan, I've spoken to you of this before! It is bad enough that you do not pay rent-"

"I do not pay rent, good Bonacieux, because it was our agreement," said D'Artagnan. "Did I not rescue your wife from her abductors? Did I not restore her to you?"

Simon Hawke

The Timekeeper Conspiracy

"For all that I see her, she might as well be held captive still," grumbled Bonacieux.

"Now, Bonacieux, I cannot be held responsible for your marital difficulties," said D'Artagnan, winking at Delaney. "If you did not exhaust yourself by staying up until odd hours and entertaining company all night, perhaps you'd be in better shape to satisfy her."

"I! I stay up until odd hours! Really, Monsieur, I-"

"Come on, now, off to bed with you, you old fossil," said D'Artagnan, putting his arm around Bonacieux and propelling him back into his bedroom. "This is a rooming house and not a tavern! Sensible people are in bed this time of night!"

Protesting weakly, Bonacieux allowed himself to be propelled back into his room. D'Artagnan placed his hand upon the old man's back and gave him a final shove, then slammed the door shut.

"Unreasonable man," he said. He peered at Andre. "I say, Monsieur, I don't believe I know you. Have you a sister?"

"Monsieur Andre de la Croix," said Lucas, performing the introductions, "and Doc-"

"Monsieur D'Artagnan and I have already met," said Bennett, hastily. "Andre is my nephew."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Monsieur," D'Artagnan said. "Now, about your sister…"

"My sister?" Andre said, uncertainly.

"Yes, you have a sister, do you not? Surely, you must be her brother, the family resemblance is remarkable. I refer to the woman who saved my life at the Carmes-Dechaux recently. I have been searching for her ever since, so that I might properly express my gratitude. I never expected that fate should bring her brother to my door, but-"

Someone knocked upon the door.

"What, more visitors?" D'Artagnan said. "Francois, be a good fellow and tell whoever it is to go away."

"Go away," said Delaney.

"But I must speak to Monsieur D'Artagnan!" came the distinctly feminine reply. "Oh! Goodness, who is in there?"

"Constance!" said D'Artagnan.

With an elaborate gesture, Finn opened the door. "Why not?" he said. "Everybody else is here."

Constance rushed in, all aflutter. "D'Artagnan!"

"Constance!"

"Constance?" Bonacieux croaked from his bedroom. "What, is my wife there?"

"Oh, I cannot see him now!" said Constance. "I mustn't! He is a spy for Richelieu!" She glanced around at all the others. "Goodness, who are these men?"

"We are not spies for Richelieu," said Finn.

"These are my friends," D'Artagnan said, expansively.

"Is my wife there?" said Bonacieux, from behind his bedroom door.

"No," shouted D'Artagnan. "Go back to sleep!"

"But I thought I heard her voice," said Bonacieux, opening his bedroom door.

"You were dreaming," said D'Artagnan, pushing him back into the bedroom with a hand upon his face, then booting the door closed. "Quickly, up to my room," said D'Artagnan.

"But these gentlemen…" said Constance.

"Will wait their turn," D'Artagnan said.

"What?"

"He means to speak with him, madame," said Lucas.

"Oh!" Constance said, looking very much relieved.

"My wife…" said Bonacieux, opening his door again.

D'Artagnan shoved it closed and a heavy thump could be heard from the other side. "Upstairs, now, quickly," he said.

Constance ran upstairs to the Gascon's room. They heard his door open and close as she went inside and then Bonacieux peered out again, rubbing his head.

"What happened?" he said.

"You were walking in your sleep," D'Artagnan said.

"I was!"

"Yes, and you struck your head. You'd best be careful, you could injure yourself that way."

"I thought I heard my wife "

"You were dreaming," said D'Artagnan. "Dreaming and walking and talking in your sleep; really, Bonacieux, this is too much. If this sort of thing continues, I fear I shall have to seek other quarters!"

"Oh, no, Monsieur D'Artagnan, it will not happen again, I assure you!"

Simon Hawke

The Timekeeper Conspiracy

"Good, see that it does not. I grow weary of these constant disturbances. Go to bed, Bonacieux."

"Yes, yes, I will."

"Goodnight, then."

"Good night to you, Monsieur."

Bonacieux went back to bed.

"You will excuse me, gentlemen?" D'Artagnan said. He grabbed a bottle off the table and staggered up the stairs.

Finn immediately reached for his rapier, but Bennett had both lasers out at once, covering both him and Lucas.

"Andre, take one of these and watch them for a moment, will you?" Bennett said.

"This is ridiculous, Bennett," Lucas said. "You need our help. If you really want to-"

"Sssh," said Bennett, removing a small box, about the size of a package of cigarettes, from his pocket. He flipped a tiny switch on it.

"— terrible thing!" Constance's voice came from the box. "You've simply got to help- "

"You bugged his room!" said Lucas.

Bennett glanced up at him impatiently. "You mind?"

"— anything I can, dear darling Constance, just let me- "

"Now now!"

"Oh, but Constance, I burn with the flame of desire, I am consumed with- "

There were the sounds of a brief struggle, followed by the sound of water being thrown and D'Artagnan sputtering.

"I think she just extinguished his flame with the water from his washbasin," Bennett said.

"Pooh, you stink!"

"Correction, not his washbasin," Bennett said.

"Now will you listen to me?"

"Lord, Constance, that was my best doublet!"

"The devil with your doublet! The queen is in dire danger and all you can think about is sex!"

“What, the queen in danger? Well then, why didn't you say so? Here, just let me remove this foul-smelling doublet- "

"The king has ordered a ball to be held in honor of the queen," said Constance. "And he has asked her to wear the diamond studs he gave her…"

"Yes, go on, I'll just remove these soiled breeches…"

"But the queen gave her diamond studs to Milord Buckingham," said Constance. "Richelieu must have found out about it, his spies are everywhere."

"Indeed. Here, come over to the bed and help me pull these boots off…"

"If the queen does not get back her diamond studs in time, she will be ruined! She has given me a letter to Milord Buckingham. You must go to London and bring back the studs or-"

"Yes, of course, I'll depart first thing in the morning."

"Oh! D'Artagnan!"

"Sssh, you'll wake your husband."

"Oh! Stop it!" There was a ripping sound. "My dress!"

"I'll buy you another. I'll buy you a whole closetful of dresses-"

Bennett switched off the speaker. "Well, that's it," he said. "Taylor's made his move. It's started."

"What's the plan?" said Lucas.

"I don't know for certain," Bennett said. "Somehow, he's going to interfere with the musketeers and prevent them from delivering the studs. The queen's affair with the prime minister of England will be made public and her reputation will be ruined. She may even be accused of treason."

"Then we're going to have to make sure that she gets her studs back," Lucas said. "We're not going to be able to do that unless you cooperate with us."