Gregory Benford - Jupiter Project

I handed her my cup. “Oh, I didn’t see you.” I poured myself another.

“Or didn’t try to, ummmm?”

“Aw, come on.”

“Well, I wondered if there was some reason. Do you realize that you never approach a girl at these things?” She sipped her punch, holding it in two hands, and peered over the cup at me.

“Let’s be precise,” I said, “I don’t very often, okay, but not never. I…well, there’s something I don’t like about these things.”

“They’re not the greatest,” she admitted.

“Why can’t we have square dances instead?”

She shrugged. “Dr. Matonin says these are part of the, the socialization program.”

“That’s right.” Dr. Matonin said. “Socialization.” She had come over at the sound of her name. We smiled and exchanged a few pleasantries. Then I looked straight at her and said, “Look, we already know each other. Why do we have to go through these dances?”

Dr. Matonin has a motherly look and smiles a lot. It’s impossible not to like her. Her face crinkled with concern. “Social dancing is the way boys and girls learn to, ah, interact with each other.”

“We interact every day,” Jenny pointed out.

“I mean in a context that will develop and grow in later years. We want to bring you youngsters together in a way that will break down the tendency you have to avoid the other sex during adolescence.”

“But we get along fine.” I said.

“In a more sophisticated way, I mean, Matt.”

By that I guessed she meant the long ritual of dating and engagement and marriage, with a dollop of sex thrown in somewhere along the way to keep your interest up. Playing the game, Zak called it.

“Why can’t they be square dances, then?” Jenny asked. “We used to have those and they were fun.”

I nodded. I liked square dancing. It wasn’t such a hassle. You could wear anything you felt like. That usually meant the guys wore whatever they had on at the moment, and maybe half the girls did the same. The other girls came in skirts. For square dancing the skirts made sense—they were cooler. In fact, it always seemed too bad that boys couldn’t wear something like a skirt, too. I mean, to have some freedom of dress.

“I agree, they were fun.” Dr. Matonin’s face lit up. “But you young men and women are getting older and it is time to move on to other kinds of, ah, socialization processes.”

“Like this?” I waved a hand at the decorations and subdued lighting.

“Yes, indeed. This seems to us to be what is needed.”

“Needed by who?” Jenny asked.

“By the less mature among you. They do not easily make contact with the other sex. There are shy people, you know—they’re not all like you, Matt,” she said merrily.

I stared at her. She’s a tremendously bright fusion physicist, sure. But she didn’t seem to see that I felt awkward at these Socials, just like everybody else. I had a sudden moment of insight there, catching a glimpse of how other people saw me. A little jolt of unreality.

I was kind of brash and self-confident, I knew that. But underneath I had doubts and uncertainties. There were moments when I was nervous or shy or afraid to say things. But from what Dr. Matonin said, I guessed that nobody saw me clearly at those moments. They didn’t think that a kid who was good at his job and pretty fast with his mouth could have any problems. Well, I had news for them.

“But. but,” Jenny said, “there’s more social contact at anything else than here. ” She gestured and we looked around. Sure enough, girls were still looking bored and guys were against one wall, muttering in subdued voices. Nobody was dancing.

“Well, it’s early yet,” Dr. Matonin said. “There’s something you older teens have got to understand, as well,” she went on seriously. “These dances are basically for the sake of the girls. They like them, even if perhaps a few of the older girls don’t.” A nod at Jenny. “They like a chance to dress up and show off. They like making their own special clothes.”

“We could wear them anywhere we wanted. Not only to dances.”

Dr. Matonin nodded slightly. “But you don’t. You see, Jenny, the Can is a very special kind of environment. We don’t dress or act the way people back on Earth do. But Mr. Neugyen and I and the others are trying to make these Socials as much as possible like the way things are on Earth. This is the way life is, Jenny. It’s not all work crews and astronomy and computers. And we had better remember that. We will all have to go back and live on Earth someday, and we will have trouble adjusting. And you will have the worst time of all, because you’ve spent almost all of your lives in the Can.”

“Ummm,” Jenny murmured in the way that meant she wasn’t convinced.

“So go ahead, get on out there,” Dr. Matonin said brightly, gently taking each of us by the elbow and steering us onto the dance floor. “And enjoy yourselves.”

I’m no smoothie, but I can negotiate a simple box step without breaking an ankle. I took Jenny in my arms and we danced through several numbers. It wasn’t bad. I liked the smell of her, a kind of rich fragrance that blotted out the rec room and the clumps of guys and the syrupy music. Jenny smiled and I held her closer and it was not bad at all. It still felt phony, but I managed to forget about that part of it.

We talked some more about what Dr. Matonin said. Jenny didn’t think any of the girls really liked the Socials, despite Dr. Matonin’s theory.

Jenny and I danced on. I saw Zak wandering around the place, cup in hand. When we all took a break Jenny went off to the john. I wandered over to where Zak was leaning in a corner. He’s the Can’s Number One word magician in ordinary conversation, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t stand out much at the Socials. He hardly ever dances and he doesn’t say much.

“What’re you doing hiding over here?” I asked.

“Passing the time.”

“Eyeing the girls, you mean. Why not ask one to dance? They don’t bite. Not often, anyway.”

“I’m sizing them up. Picking out the target.”

“Target for what?”

“Remember Ishi’s Lady X? ”

“Oh.”

“She’s got to be in this room. Right in front of us.” He gestured dramatically.

“Maybe.”

“No maybes, she’s here. Unless she was some twenty-year-old.” His eyes widened at the implications. “Say, you don’t suppose he might’ve—”

“Look, who can tell? That information’s lost.”

“Ah. my friend, but the Lady X is not. All I have to do is find her.”

“I think you’re looking at this the wrong way.”

“How so?”

“It’s not a rabbit hunt. I mean, you don’t just put her in your sights and whammo, there you are.”

“Why not?”

“Well…” I wasn’t sure quite what I did mean. “Look, it’s got to mean something more than that.”

He smirked. “Old romantic Matt.”

“Maybe I’ve just got higher standards, huh?” I growled.

Zak shrugged. “We were discussing technique, not principles.”

“No, look, I don’t even think your approach will work. If you zoom in on some poor girl, right away she’s going to suspect what you’re after. She’ll turn off, fast.”

Zak shrugged again. “We’ll see, we’ll see.”

I pitied the girl Zak came on with. He’d stand offshore and try the familiar verbal barrage to soften her up. Then he’d follow it with a vigorous assault on the beaches. She’d push him right back into the sea, I was pretty sure of that. Still… I looked around at the hundred or so kids in the rec hall. Somewhere in here was Lady X, Zak was probably right about that. Which one? Even if I figured out who she was, there were always some goddam chaperones around. It did make you think, though…