Michael Mayer - Time Trippers The Nights of the Round Table

“Sure thing, but, I really don’t need the money, and I really want to break that homer record,” Ruth said.

“I’m really sorry to hear that Babe. Come on boys, let’s get him outta here - we’re takin’ him for a little ride. But first he’s gonna have a little drink… a lot can happen when you get drunk at a party. What a shame… looks like you’re gonna have an accident - maybe fall and break your arm,” Derby Hat said.

One of the ‘boys’ produced a bottle of liquor. “I hears you like scotch..don’t worry, this is the real stuff off the boat….we’re just gonna pour you about half a bottle - it’ll ease the pain.”

“Hey, ix-nay on the ink-drays! Come on boys, take it easy….” Ruth implored.

Pat whispered his plan to the kids. They spread out behind the boxes in the dark, Jonathan staying with Pat.

Pat nudged Jonathan, “Now!” Jonathan took a nickel and threw it to a corner of the office.

“Hey, who’s there?!” Derby Hat said, motioning to his boys to spread out. “Whoever you are, come on out if you know what’s good for you!” Each of Pat’s gang whistled once.

“Hey Boss, they’s all over da place maybe it’s the cops?”

“G’wan…they ain’t the cops….” Derby Hat said. Right then, one of the guards from the front came in.

“Hey boss, we had to chase away a couple o’ kids out front…..they was throwin’ rocks - maybe they knows somethin?”

Jonathan deepened his voice: “All right you, we got you surrounded - drop your weapons and come out with your hands up!”

“Oh yeah? Izzat soooo?” Derby Hat said skeptically, “So - who are youse? You ain’t da cops?!”

“Elliot Ness, Federal Agent! Drop ‘em! Let the big guy go!” Jonathan said deeply. One of his boys dropped his gun and put his hands up.

“You stupid jerk, they’re just some kids!” Derby Hat said. “All right you kids, knock it off, get lost or your gonna be in real trouble…”

Pat whistled twice and each member of his gang started to make noise in different parts of the warehouse.

He whispered to Jonathan: “OK, when they start to look for my guys, we cheese it, see? We gotta take a powder ’cause we ain’t got no artillery, see? Get them to chase us. Wonder if Skinny, Mose and Lauren got the cops?”

We arrived on the corner of 10th Avenue and 29th Street.

“There’s the warehouse,” I said. “Looks like nobody’s on guard… that’s funny.”

“Your sure this is the place?” Cagney said menacing the gangster with the gun.

He nodded.

“All right you, let’s make an entrance - hands on your head. Make any sudden movements and I’ll drill ‘ya.” Cagney said. “Harpo, Bob, Dottie, you keep a lookout down here.” Harpo said that sorry, if Lauren and Jonathan are upstairs in danger, he would go too to save them.

“OK, come on!” Cagney said, then to Benchley he said: “You and Dorothy keep a lookout down here in case any other of their guys show up, OK?”

Benchley said they would hold the fort at all costs, “The Park Bench team is on the case!”

Dottie rolled her eyes.

“OK Mr. Benchley, let’s pretend to take a midnight stroll - and we better pretend we’re drunk so as not to arouse suspicion in THIS neighborhood.”

“A role to which we’re well suited…” said Benchley. “Half in the tank already..”

We climbed the stairs to the second floor where the gangster said that they would be in the middle by the office. We saw the pool of light and we could hear some kids and I was sure, Jonathan’s voice, deepened, saying: “Elliot Ness, Federal Agent! Drop ‘em! Let the big guy go!”

Cagney hit the gangster hard in the head with the gun, knocking him cold, Harpo catching him so he wouldn’t make any noise.

“Sorry pal,” he said without regret. “He’s more of a liability now.” Cagney whispered instructions to us: “You guys keep quiet, pull your hats down and keep your hands in your pockets, like you’re holding guns - I’ll do the talking - we’re from Rothstein, see?”

We nodded gravely. We got it. We’d have to act the part.

Harpo made his fiercest face showing his teeth, breathing heavily like in his act, ever the clown. It relieved the tension.

“You,” he addressed Tora-san, “Keep out of sight, see, and work your way as close as possible behind these boxes…”

He nodded.

“All I got is this .38, so it’s gonna be some bluff…. and me just a song and dance man.” Cagney said with a little nervous laugh. “Here goes nothing…”

With Cagney holding the drawn gun, and with Ring, me and Harpo keeping to the shadows, hands in our pockets, hats over our eyes looking as instructed, we followed, trying to look as tough as possible as Cagney sauntered confidently into the room after Derby Hat said: “All right you kids, knock it off, get lost or your gonna be in real trouble…”

“Allllll right!” Cagney said. “The jig is up. Rothstein says to knock it off, see, he don’t want all the heat this little stunt of yours is gonna bring down on the mob, get me?”

“What the?! Who’re YOUSE?!” Derby Hat asked astonished.

“Gee Boss, I taught dese was just kids you said…” said one of his boys.

“Don’t move or you’re gonna get it!” Cagney said through his clenched teeth. “Never mind who we are, see? Just drop your gats real easy like, no sudden movements, I’m feeling very edgy, see?” Cagney said menacingly. “Let the Babe go, get me?”

“Okay, Okay,” said Derby Hat, “Take it easy, pal,” he said reaching for his gun slowly. “All right boys, drop ‘em.” Derby Hat ordered. “You, let Ruth go, back away,” he ordered the guy holding Ruth by the arm.

“Gee, thanks… whoever you guys are….” the still-blindfolded Ruth said.

Jonathan whispered to Pat, “Hey, it’s your uncle Jimmy.”

Pat glared at him motioning for him to shut up!

“Gwan, drop those gats now!” Cagney said waving his pistol.

Derby Hat’s boys dropped their guns.

“All, right, back away and hands on your heads.” Cagney ordered.

They complied warily.

“OK, Tank,” Cagney said to me. (So I was Tank, hey?) “Go get the Babe.”

He nodded at Ring to collect the pistols. I slowly eased my way over and grabbed the Babe and led him away behind the boxes, keeping his blindfold on.

“Say, would you mind taking this thing off and untying my hands?” Ruth asked.

I hushed him, “Wait, in a few minutes - it’s complicated.”

“OK,” he replied.

“Say, wait a minute, you guys don’t look like nobody in the mob…” Derby Hat said skeptically as he reached for his gun. Suddenly, he grabbed it and ducked before Cagney could react and squeezed off a shot that just missed Tora-san who leaped from the shadows as Derby Hat pointed his gun. Tora-san was on him like lightening, his gun fired again wildly into a box, shattering some glass. Tora-san pinned him to the floor, and hit him with a fast Karate chop making him scream in agony, his pistol clattered on the floor.

Just then, three other people in trench coats, hats covering their eyes, looking like gangsters from an old movie, entered the area. The two guys following the leader had their hands in their pockets like they had pistols, giving us quite a start. Benchley and Dottie followed them in. One of Derby Hat’s boys said quietly “Look Boss…it’s Bugsy!”