James Halperin - The First Immortal

“For Kimber and Margaret, too?”

“Of course.” Jesus. What did he think I meant? Gary thought.

“Good.”

Without saying goodbye, Gary pressed the off-button of his two-way imager; Ben’s face disappeared from the screen like a wayward intruder falling through a remote-controlled trapdoor.

A tad impolite of me, Gary thought, but better than letting him see my face right now. “Shit. The guy’s fucking insufferable!” he muttered.

“Ben is?” Kimber said. “You’re the one who hung up on him!”

“Huh? You overheard us?”

“I was standing right here, honey, in case you didn’t realize…”

“Sorry,” Gary said. “Guess I’m not myself where he’s involved.”

“I noticed.”

“He’s just the most egocentric, selfish man, Kimber. He mostly ignored me throughout my childhood, and when he didn’t, it was usually to harp at me about something. What that’s done is to turn his voice into an instrument of torture. Now he’s become my tormentor. It’s bad enough he’s my father; if he has his way, he’ll soon be my fucking son-in-law!”

Kimber massaged Gary’s shoulders. “He’s trying, Gary.”

“I know. Very trying.”

Kimber swiveled Gary’s chair around until they faced each other. “I’ve watched you two go at it for fifteen years, sweetheart.” Her voice still carried its usual affection, but Gary detected a new resolve in her eyes. “I’m on your side. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this time you’re wrong about your father. Stone cold wrong.”

He looked back at her in bewildered silence.

“I understand your resentment. I do. You’ve explained how he treated you, and it must’ve hurt you terribly. But that was more than a century ago in real-time, when he was recovering from injuries of his own. You’ve never been to war. Neither have I. But I’ve heard plenty of family stories about my great-grandfather. He died in Tokyo ten years before I was born. World War Two must have been appalling; worse, I’m sure, than anything your father and my great-grandfather could even describe.”

“I know that,” Gary cried. “But he injured me, Kimber. He doted on my sisters and spurned me, which killed my self-esteem; he left me defenseless! Maybe even crippled me, literally. He’s probably the reason I couldn’t stop drinking when my mother died; why I got hooked on VR gambling when Toby left. He cost me decades of my life.”

“He also gave you your life. Twice! Things were different back then. You know that. Death was inevitable and life finite. Now you have time—all the time you need! Plenty of time to do whatever you want, to make the most of all your potential. And plenty of time to let your injuries heal. He’s your father. He’s changed, you’ve changed…” She paused and smiled. “…and you’re both going to be around for a very long time; possibly even forever. It’s time to let the hostility go.”

“I don’t know,” Gary growled, his body quivering with tension and anger. “I’ve bottled this resentment inside so long; how can the mere fact that I came from his sperm ever inspire that kind of forgiveness?”

“Then do it for Margaret. She loves Ben and she loves you. So did your mother; she never stopped trying to bring you two back together.” Kimber kissed Gary’s lower lip. “And if that’s not enough, do it for me. For the sake of my love for both of you, and more significantly, my… well, sanity!”

Gary fought the impulse, but soon heard his own quiet laughter. “A powerful incentive, indeed. Especially when my own mental health is so intertwined with yours.”

She scowled. “A couple years ago, after you and Ben talked Trip down from his comet-silly attack, you spoke of your father in almost glowing terms. At least for a few months. You were happy, Gary. At peace. Have you forgotten?”

“No,” he conceded. “And I want to let this go. I really do. But how?”

“Talk to him. Face-to-face. Today. Tell him how you feel, and why you think you feel that way. Then listen calmly, openly; give him an opportunity to express himself. And remember, he’s not the Ben Smith who mistreated you. You’re blind to who he’s become. And you’re not the same, either. You no longer have to prove yourself like some adolescent. So stop acting like his hurt little boy. Every living person changes. Every wound heals, given time, and life. And don’t forget who gave you yours.”

“C’mon in, son,” an obviously startled Ben Smith said, welcoming him at the door. “I must say, you just showing up like this is something of a surprise, a pleasant surprise…”

“Got time for a private talk?”

“Always.” Repressing a swell of anxiety, Ben escorted his son into the study and activated its soundshield. “What’s up?”

“I know I owe you my existence twice-over—” Gary began, reciting his rehearsed speech.

“I might owe you mine, too.” I’m gushing, Ben thought. Gotta stop.

“Please. Just let me finish.”

“Of course.”

“I also know you’ve never been a malicious person. I realize you did the best you could at the time, and how hard you’ve tried to atone for ignoring me during those first thirty-five years.” My thirty-five most formative years, Gary did not say. “I understand you were suffering from a trauma that took decades to heal, maybe still hasn’t healed completely, and that your attitude erupted from an ordeal you had no control over.”

“All true.” Ben braced himself. “I assume there’s more.”

“There is. For the past few hours I’ve been thinking about that court battle after you were frozen. If I hadn’t been there myself, it would be impossible to imagine how skeptical everyone was about cryonics. And in hindsight, we still remain blind to our own ignorance, even if we never forget it. My sisters gave you up for dead, which was a rational view of things at the time. But I couldn’t. You know why?”

“I figured it was because there’s so much of Alice in you—in us. You’re more of a scientist than most, including your sisters, I guess. You were always a thinker rather than a follower.”

“I agree, and I’d like to believe it was logic that put me on Toby’s side of the court battle. But today I started reexamining my motivations. My career was soaring. I was on the way to becoming one of the most famous artists in the world. And you know what the key to achieving great success in any field is?”

“Talent? Intelligence?”

Gary shook his head. “Perseverance; the ability to stay motivated, and the inability to satisfy an unquenchable obsession. That was always my secret, Dad, and it came from you.”

“It did?” Ben asked, daring to believe that his son might indeed have come to make up with him. “How?”

Gary deflated these hopes like a laser spear puncturing a beach ball. “I fought side by side with Toby for only one reason: the chance to someday show you I wasn’t the boy you thought I was, not some carbon copy of you, but my own person with aptitudes that did not spring from you. I wanted to prove you had nothing to do with my success; that my success came not because of you, but in spite of you. And I could never have done that if you were irrevocably dead. I wanted to save your life, Dad, to make sure you finally knew I didn’t need you.”

For a moment Ben could only stare. “I get it,” he said finally. Something inside him was falling away, but he refused to let go. “That was over a century ago, Gary. What about today?”

“I need it to heal.” Gary paused. “But I don’t see how that can happen. Frankly, I’m scared to death there’s going to be this wall between us forever.”

“I see.”