Gordon Dickson - The Right to Arm Bears

“But—” Anita’s voice was unhappy, almost a wail, “it still doesn’t prove anything! And the authorities don’t want to close this project down! Don’t you know what the name of the project itself stands for—”

“I know all right!” broke in Bill. “They told me at the reassignment center. ‘Spacepaw— Helping Paw from the Stars ,’ in Dilbian translation, because according to the Dilbians they’re the only ones who have hands, and we Shorties have ‘paws.’ ” Bill laughed shortly. “Let’s try another interpretation, shall we? Project Catspaw—with me as the ‘catspaw’ that bails our Alien Relations people out of a jam on this world!”

“Bill, you know better!” said Anita desperately. “Oh, if you only knew how hard Lafe’s worked here, you’d know he’d never have agreed to anything to close this project, let alone helping in making you the catspaw, as you say. It’s all coincidence, my being here, and his breaking his leg—”

“Were you there when he broke it?” interrupted Bill.

“Well, I… no,” admitted Anita grudgingly. “I was away from the Residency. When I got back, he hadn’t waited for me. He’d already got a cast on it and called in, asking for transportation to a hospital ship—”

“Then you don’t know for sure if he ever did fall and break it,” said Bill grimly. “All right, maybe you can tell me what kind of a trick was used when this Half-Pint-Posted I keep hearing about beat up that mountain Dilbian with his bare hands.”

“But there wasn’t any trick! Honestly—” said Anita fervently. “Or rather, the only trick was that he used his belt. The Half-Pint—I mean, John Tardy—was a former Olympic decathlon champion. He got the Dilbian in the water with him, managed to get behind him and put his belt around the Streamside Terror’s neck, and choked him. Outside of using the belt and the fact that he was able to maneuver in the water better than the Streamside Terror, it was a fair fight.”

“Well, I’m no Olympic decathlon champion!” said Bill in heartfelt tones. “And if I was, how could I get a duel with swords and shield fought underwater? But I was set up for this duel with Bone Breaker in practically everybody’s mind—Human, Dilbian, Hemnoid, and all—before I even got here—”

“But you weren’t!” Anita was wringing her verbal hands. “Believe me, Bill—”

“Believe you? Ha!” said Bill bitterly. “You seem to be fitting in right with the rest of the scheme. Here you’re supposed to be an agricultural trainee-assistant, but first you get the village females like Sweet Thing and Thing-or-Two all stirred up on opposite sides. Now I find you here stirring up the outlaw females. Why should I believe you any more than I would Greenleaf, or any of the rest who were part of getting me into this mess.”

She made an odd, small, choked sound, and he saw the dark shape of her whirl and walk away from him for several paces before she stopped. He stared after her in some astonishment. He was not quite sure what reaction he had expected to his words—but it certainly had not been this. After a moment, when she still did not turn back or say anything, he walked after her and stopped behind her.

“Look—” he began.

“I suppose you think I like it!” she interrupted him without turning about, low-voiced and furious. “I suppose you think I’m doing it all just for my own amusement?”

He stared at the dark back of her head.

“Why, then?” he demanded.

With that, she did swing around to face him. He saw the pale oval of her face, gray in the dimness, without being able to read its expression. But the tone of her voice was readable enough.

“For a lot of reasons you don’t even begin to understand!” she said. “But I’ll try and make you understand part of it, anyway. Do you know anything about anthropology?”

“No,” he said stiffly. “My field’s engineering—you know that. Why, what do you know about it? Your field’s agriculture, isn’t it?”

“I also happen to have an associate’s degree in cultural anthropology!” Anita snapped.

“Associate degree—” he peered at her. “But aren’t you an agricultural trainee-assistant?” He strove to see her face, through the darkness. He felt bewildered. He would have been ready to swear that she was no older than he was.

“Of course. But—” she checked herself. “I mean, I am. But I’ve also been under special tutoring and an accelerated study course since I left primary school. For example, I’ve also got an assistant’s certificate in pharmacy, and a provisional research certificate in xeno-biology—”

“ Grk !” said Bill involuntarily, staring at her through the darkness. She evidently was, he suddenly realized, one of those super-brains customarily referred to as Hothouse Types back in college-preparatory school. Those students with so much on the ball that they were allowed to load up on half a dozen extra lines of study. Well, that was nice. That was all it took in addition to everything else that was making him feel like everybody’s prize fool in this Dilbian situation.

“—What?” Anita was asking him puzzledly.

“Nothing. Go on,” he growled.

“Well, I’m trying to explain something to you,” she went on. “Did you ever hear of the Yaghan—a nearly extinct Indian tribe that used to occupy the south coast of Tierra del Fuego and the islands of Cape Horn at the tip of South America?”

“Why should I?” grumped Bill sourly. “And what’s that got to do with the situation, anyway? What I want to know—”

“Just listen!” Anita said fiercely. “The Yaghan were a very primitive tribe, but they were studied by, among other people, a German anthropologist named Gusinde who wrote a monograph on them in 1937. Gusinde found out that the laws or the social rules of existence of the Yaghan were not enforced by any particular specific authority but by what he called the Allgemeinheit , meaning the ‘group as a whole.’ But there had to be some individuals who spoke for this ‘group as a whole’; and these speakers were men called tiamuna by the Yaghan—and Gusinde describes the tiamuna this way—‘ men who because of their old age, spotless character, long experience and mental superiority gained such an extent of moral influence that it is equal to a peculiar domination .’ ”

Anita stopped speaking. Bill stared through the darkness at her. What relation this lecture had to the subject at hand he had no idea. After a moment he said as much.

“Well, haven’t you heard the Dilbians talk about Grandfathers?” demanded Anita. “These Grandfathers are the tiamuna -equivalents among the Dilbians. The whole Dilbian culture is a strongly individualistic one—even more individualistic than our human culture. But it keeps itself stable through a very rigid system of unofficial checks and balances. It looks as if it’d be easy to introduce new ideas to the Dilbian culture. But the trouble is, introducing any new idea threatens to disrupt the existing cultural system of these checks and balances, and so the new idea gets rejected. There’s only one way a new idea can be introduced and that’s by getting a tiamuna —a Grandfather—to agree that maybe it’s a good thing for Dilbians in general. In other words if you want to introduce any element of progress among the Dilbians, you’ve got to get a Grandfather to back it. And of course, the Grandfathers, because they’re old and thoroughly entrenched in the existing system, are highly conservative and not about to give their approval to some change. But that makes no difference—if you want change you’ve got to find a tiamuna to speak up for it!”