Gordon Dickson - The Right to Arm Bears

“All right, Pick-and-Shovel,” he said ominously. “Let’s see you lift it now.”

Bill did not move. But his heart felt as if it had just stopped beating.

“Why should I?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you why!” said Flat Fingers. He reached down and picked up the block-and-tackle in one large hand and shoved it before Bill’s eyes. “Did you think a professional man like me could have something like this pulled right under his nose and not know what’s going on? The only reason you could lift those logs was because you used this ! This gadget, right here!” He shook it, fiercely, almost in Bill’s face. “I don’t know how you made it work for you, and not work for me—but this is how come you managed to lift those logs!”

“That’s right,” said Bill calmly. The sweat was prickling under his collar.

“Hey!” cried the Hill Bluffer in alarm. “Pick-and-Shovel, you aren’t saying—”

“Let him answer me, first,” rumbled the blacksmith dangerously. In the mask of his furry face, his eyes were suddenly red and bloodshot.

“I said,” repeated Bill distinctly, “of course I did. As you all know”—he turned toward the crowd of Dilbians just outside the shed—“my main job here is to teach you all how to use the tools that us Shorties brought you in order to make your farming less work, and made it produce more crops. Well, I just thought I’d give you a little example of what one our gadgets can do.”

He pointed at the block-and-tackle, which the blacksmith still held.

“That’s one of them,” he said, “and you just saw how easy it made lifting those logs. Now wouldn’t you all like to have a gadget like that—”

“Hold on!” snarled Flat Fingers ominously. “Never mind changing the subject, Pick-and-Shovel! You set up a weightlifting contest. You claimed you could outlift me. But when it came down to it, you used this. You cheated !”

The word rang out loudly on the warm afternoon air. From the crowd around there was dead silence. The accusation, Bill knew, was the ultimate one among Dilbians.

It was the old story of the spirit versus the letter of the law, again. What held true for laws held true also for verbal contracts and personal promises. Bill had conceived the block-and-tackle as a clever way of discharging an apparently impossible promise. But what Flat Fingers was saying was that Bill had promised one thing but delivered another.

There was all the Dilbian world of difference between the two things. What Bill had intended to pull off was something clever—and therefore praiseworthy. What Flat Fingers was claiming was anathema to all Dilbians.

The absolute inviolability of the letter of the law was the cement holding the Dilbian culture together. It was the one thing on which farmers, outlaws, Lowland and Upland Dilbians agreed instinctively. Not even the Hill Bluffer would stand by Bill if it was agreed that he had done what the blacksmith said. The penalty for cheating was death.

The crowd about the forge was silent, waiting for Bill’s reply.

Silently, Bill blessed the inspiration that had come to him earlier when he had originally begun to challenge the blacksmith. That inspiration should get him out of his present fix now, he told himself firmly. But in spite of that inner firmness, he felt his stomach sink inside him as he looked around at the grim, furry faces ringing him in. He forced himself to maintain his casual voice, and the careless smile on his face.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” he said lightly. He turned and looked into the crowd. “Where’s More Jam?”

“What’s More Jam got to do with it?” growled Flat Fingers, behind him.

“Why, just that he was there when you and I had our little talk,” answered Bill, without turning. “He’s my witness. Where is More Jam?”

“Coming!” huffed a voice from the back of the crowd. And a moment later, More Jam himself shoved his way through the front ranks and joined Bill and the others under the shed roof.

“Well, now, Pick-and-Shovel,” he said. “You were passing the shout for me?”

“Yes, I was,” said Bill. “You were over at the Residency this morning and maybe you were listening when I had my little talk with Flat Fingers. I wonder if you could think back and see if you remember just what I said I’d meet him here at noon to do? Did I say I’d outlift him?”

“Let’s see, now,” rumbled More Jam. “As I remember it, what Pick-and-Shovel here said was—‘ I’m just a Shorty and I’d never have the nerve to suggest that I might be able to outlift you ordinarily. But I just might be able to outdo you at it if I had to, and I’m ready to prove it by moving something you can’t move .’ ”

More Jam cocked his head at the blacksmith.

“Sorry not to be able to back a fellow townsman up, Flat Fingers,” said Sweet Thing’s father sadly, “but that’s what Pick-and-Shovel said, all right. And he suggested that you get together after lunch and you said ‘Suits me…’” More Jam continued, repeating the conversation with as much accuracy as if he had been a recording machine.

Bill let a slow, silent sigh of relief escape him. The Dilbians, he knew, had the rather elementary written language that made the Bluffer’s job as postman possible and necessary. But Bill had gambled on the fact that, like most primitive cultures, it was the Dilbian custom and habit to depend on the memories of living witnesses to any agreement or transaction.

However, the verdict, Bill noted, was not in yet. The crowd was still silent.

Bill’s breath checked in his chest once more—but just then a swelling wave of thunderous, bass-voiced Dilbian laughter began to rise and ring about Bill’s ears from every direction. Everybody was laughing—even, finally, Flat Fingers himself. In fact, the blacksmith showed an alarming intention of slapping Bill on the back in congratulation—an intention Bill only frustrated by hastily backing up against the stout belly of More Jam.

“Well, well, well!” chortled the towering blacksmith finally, as the laughter began to die down. “You sure are a sneaky little Shorty, at that—and I’m the first man to admit it! No offense about my flying off the handle and saying you cheated, I hope? If you feel we ought to tangle about it, right now—”

“No, no—no offense!” said Bill quickly. “None at all!”

General sounds of approval from the surrounding crowd greeted this magnanimous attitude on Bill’s part. By this time the shed was completely hemmed in by the villagers. It occurred to Bill that this might be a good time to try to get them on his side against the outlaws, striking while the iron was hot, so to speak. He stepped up on a pile of logs.

“Er—people of Muddy Nose,” said Bill. For a second, his voice threatened to stick in his throat. For all the crowd’s present good humor, Bill could not forget the ominous quiet that had hung over them a moment earlier when the blacksmith had accused him of cheating. It was a little like public speaking to a convocation of grizzlies. Nevertheless, Bill fell back upon his innate stubbornness and determination, and went doggedly ahead with what he had intended to say.

“—As you all know,” he said, “my main job here is to help all of you to make your farms turn out bigger and better crops. But as you all know, too, I haven’t been able to do anything about this yet because I’ve been tied up with a problem about Dirty Teeth and a bunch of outlaws headed by Bone Breaker—whom you all know well.

“But I’m sure you can all understand how this could keep me busy,” went on Bill, “because these same outlaws have been keeping you people here around Muddy Nose busy for some time.