Steven Campbell - Hard Luck Hank - Screw the Galaxy

I sighed and put away my pistol and took out my shotgun.

“Is that Navy armor?” I asked Rendrae, my gun pointed at him.

“No, I’m not wearing any,” he lied, his hands up.

A few men went back to the windows to peek out.

“The resistance is officially over. As of now. No soldier will shoot at you if you don’t shoot at any soldier. Do you think that whole fleet of ships came here because of Belvaille? The fuel costs alone to get them here were like… you know, a lot. If you want to resist something, resist the Boranjame.”

“Hank,” Garm said. “If they’re really coming, you have to know we’re going to be killed. This,” she said, holding up the treaty, “doesn’t mean anything.”

“Have some faith, Garm. But first I’m going to need everyone’s cooperation.”

The criminal element of Belvaille could be enormously helpful to the Navy. We knew the station and already had a perfect command structure in place via the gangs. Every citizen could be mobilized if we just enlisted the bosses.

Therefore, I deputized the bosses and gave them permission to restart all activities—the entertainment would help lower tensions and the revenue would earn Belvaille’s trust. But the primary goal was to assist the military with whatever they needed. We had to quickly convert Belvaille into a full-service drydock.

Delovoa had been eating his sandwich quietly in the corner as I was putting this together. When people departed, I went to him to start the difficult phase. Garm stayed as well.

“So how likely is it you can talk to your Dredel Led and stop it?” I asked him.

“Not likely at all. On further thought, I think it’s malfunctioning. Or in some kind of circuit loop. It’s probably not going to acknowledge any more commands until it’s done,” he said.

“Done what?” Garm asked.

Delovoa shrugged.

“Destroying the station? I don’t know, honestly.”

“You don’t seem too concerned,” I jabbed.

“I’m just burnt out. Imagine waking up every morning and seeing it standing over you.”

“What did you first tell it to start it going?” Garm asked.

“I don’t know, exactly. I was mixing parts of words. But I was trying to say ‘kill.’”

“Why were you telling it that?” Garm shouted, throwing her arms up.

“This was when we were trapped by the Navy at Delovoa’s hideout,” I explained.

“You work for the Navy. You’re higher rank than I was,” she said, seeming particularly irritated by that fact.

“This was before that,” I said.

“Oh.”

“We’ll have backup, Delovoa.”

“Start thinking up words and phrases,” I said. “You got it to go berserk in just like ten seconds of trying. You know it’s ancient Colmarian. Work on it.”

“Work how? I can’t go to my lab and build sentences with metal parts.”

“I can put you in touch with the Navy. You’re my official advisor now. Garm, what’s a good Navy title for that?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, annoyed.

“I’ll give you a title too,” I stated, trying to appease her. “What do you want?”

“I want the Navy gone and the Boranjame not coming. Barring that, call me whatever you like.”

“Alright then, Grumpy Garm.”

“Do I get paid for this?” Delovoa asked, seeming to finally brighten at his prospects.

“Sure. If we live.”

Later at Jyen and Jyonal’s apartment, I was trying to squeeze into some Navy body armor when Jyen broke the silence.

“Will we really be able to do it?”

“Which part?” I responded, my arm stuck in a piece of armor clearly not designed for me.

“Any of it.”

“Sure.” Then, looking at those frightened eyes, I took Jyen by the shoulders and gave her a big, passionate kiss.

She slapped me.

“Ouch,” she said, holding her hand.

“Wait, what? Why’d you hit me?” Wondering if I had misread every signal I had ever gotten from her.

“That’s for you not wanting to come with us when we had the chance,” she said, miffed.

“I didn’t even know you guys. Then the Portal was closed. Besides, this is my home. You have to admit, you guys don’t really belong on Belvaille. You’re too nice.”

“You’re nice,” Jyen countered.

I looked at her. Was she really that naïve?

“Jyen. I’m a bully. That’s my job.”

“But you don’t do it in a mean way,” she said, as if trying to convince herself.

I sighed and went back to struggling with my armor.

“Maybe you’re right,” she began, “we probably don’t fit in on Belvaille.”

Then she put her arms around me and looked deep into my eyes. Her lips were wet.

The tension was made that much more tense when Jyonal entered the room and cleared his level-ten mutant throat.

I practically pushed Jyen across the street I was so startled.

“So where do we find the Dredel Led?” he asked as if he hadn’t seen anything.

“Finding it isn’t the problem.”

I reluctantly left my shotgun at home. It would be of no use to me.

Jyen, Jyonal, and I went outside to the cars that were waiting. We had borrowed some gang bosses’ cars and thus we looked like an army of pimps. We had ten soldiers, all armed with rockets, everyone wrapped head to toe in thick body plating. I seriously doubted the soldiers would be of use, but if nothing else they were more targets for ZR3 to deal with.

We drove to pick up Delovoa, who had finally cleaned himself up and actually wore a fine suit.

“If I’m going to die…,” he started, seeing my expression at his wardrobe.

“Is Garm going to help?” Jyen asked. For whatever reason, those two didn’t like each other. Sometimes pretty women are like thugs from different gangs: they dislike each other on principle.

“She’s showing all Belvaille’s secrets to the Navy and helping coordinate. She won’t be any use in this battle, anyway.”

Jyen seemed pleased with that as we drove off to our deaths.

“Sir, the target has been located. Twenty-three blocks from here,” one of the soldiers said to me.

Sir. Strange galaxy we live in.

“Where’s our other team?” I asked. Wallow being a team unto himself.

“En route,” he answered.

I had some small hope Delovoa could stop the robot. I had smaller hope Jyen could maybe phase it. I had a prayer that Jyonal could suddenly “see” it. I had almost no hope the soldiers could do anything. And I knew for a fact I was worthless.

But Wallow. As he approached us in that silly black armor, probably a millionth as strong as his natural skin, that gigantic truncheon in his hand, it really buoyed the spirits. We all got out of our vehicles.

“Hank,” he yelled down at me. Seriously, how had I ever pissed him off?

I looked straight up and realized I could actually fit in his nose. The soldiers were all talking at once trying to calm him, to no avail.

“We’re on the same side now,” I said.

Then Jyen abruptly cried out, pointing.

It was the Dredel Led, and it was moving towards us.

“Everyone get ready,” I commanded.

The soldiers fanned out. Jyen did like I told her and got off by herself near a building. Delovoa hid behind one of the cars. Jyonal began taking drugs. And I stood there alone making myself a very convincing target.

“On my mark,” I shouted.

“I kill you,” Wallow yelled, and I realized he meant me.

The robot paused. Maybe it was deciding what to demolish first in our target-rich environment.

“Wallow,” I said, momentarily looking away from the machine, “I’m an Oberhoffman in the Navy now.” I stood on my tiptoes so he could be a whole few inches closer and see my insignias. “I’m the highest-ranking person here.”