Steven Campbell - Hard Luck Hank - Basketful of Crap

“So what are you requesting?” I made the mistake of asking the union.

Forty minutes later they were done and I was bored silly. I had tried sitting down myself, felt the chair giving way, so I sat against the wall, putting my autocannon next to me.

I couldn’t understand the details of the demands, but the union obviously wasn’t very good at diplomacy. They seemed to be asking for anything and everything that could possibly be given. They nearly asked for a quadrillion percent raise, Belvaille to be named after them, everyone to become their personal slaves, and Garm to tuck them into bed each night and bake them cookies.

Garm’s face was red. It took every ounce of her control to not beat these guys to death.

“Gentlemen,” I began, downcast, “those requests are asinine.”

They then went on a rant about how important they were and how the station would cease to exist without their expertise. Garm jumped in and told them how she had organized them in the first place and given them positions of influence instead of glorified maintenance roles.

“Is anyone hungry?” I interrupted.

They all looked at me like I was crazy.

“I’m hungry, let’s order some food,” I continued.

“Hank—” Garm began.

“Are you mocking us?” a fat man asked.

“No, I’m hungry. Are you hungry?” I asked the guard next to me.

He nodded. Thugs were always hungry.

“You’re trying to distract us,” one of the magneteers bellowed.

“I’m trying to eat,” I countered.

“He’s always eating,” Garm agreed.

“Forgive me for being hungry. I didn’t know I was going to be babysitting today.”

Cries of outrage! Some of them actually pulled themselves to their feet. That was all the excuse Garm needed to pop up and begin yelling back.

The guards in the room were either not anxious for a fight or were waiting for the free meal I had hinted at.

One of the engineers at the end of the table stood and banged a tool on the table. It got everyone to quiet down a bit.

“This is what they want,” he said to his comrades. “Get us riled and bloodthirsty. Look at him sitting there. That’s Hank. If we lose control they’re going to kill us and say it was self-defense, and then deal with all those scared members out there,” he said, pointing to the door.

Wasn’t a bad idea, though I hadn’t thought of it. He faced Garm now.

“If you don’t meet our demands, we won’t strike, but we’ll slow down and make mistakes and you’ll never know if it was intentional or an accident.”

This was a difficult situation. It wasn’t like a gang negotiation because they weren’t a gang. We couldn’t just threaten to beat them up or they wouldn’t work well. They had to want the deal but I also had to make Garm happy.

I walked over to whisper to Garm.

“Come on, what can you give them?”

“Nothing,” she said flatly.

“Can’t imagine why you’re single,” I jabbed.

“You are too,” she said without missing a beat.

“Guys,” I started in my most pleasant voice. “The way I see it, you got it pretty damn good. You’re bleeding the corporations, the gangs, the businesses. If any of them go up or down it doesn’t matter to you.”

They mumbled and muttered and disagreed.

“But,” I said, “if you start raising your prices, you might kill your own monopoly. You exist because no one is bothered enough to compete with you. I don’t do this a lot, but let me tell you a bit about what the corporations did for me. You,” I said, pointing to one of my former soldiers, “what was I paying you?”

“Uh, thirty thousand,” he said.

“For a few night’s work. And you know how many people I’m looking to hire? Five thousand!” I lied.

Silence in the room as they added that up. It didn’t take them long, smart bastards.

“Right,” I continued. “They paid in full after a ten minute conversation. I got the money now. All of it. Do you really think you’re so important that they can’t replace you? They can’t hire a thousand of you at a moment’s notice? They just haven’t gotten around to it. Don’t give them an excuse.”

“How do we know you aren’t lying?” one of them asked.

“I’m advertising all over the place!” I turned to the guards for confirmation and while they didn’t openly agree, it was obvious. “It’s not a secret. Here, this is the money I have for weapons, armor, gear, clothes, and vehicles.” I punched up my tele. “The rest for salaries hasn’t been transferred from my bank because I don’t need it yet.”

I threw my tele on the table where they could see my statement. Even Garm looked over. They were as impressed as I had been. It was an insane amount of money.

“You guys have dream jobs. Why would you ever risk giving it up by making the corporations do a cost analysis of your work?”

They seemed to digest all this slowly. Maybe I wasn’t such a bad liar.

A few hours later I was strutting along to the car with Garm.

Garm was not happy, but it was her howls of protest that helped close the deal. I made her give the union five extra days of vacation a year.

I didn’t think they would agree to end the strike unless they thought they were getting a good deal. They didn’t know that Garm would have expressed the same outrage if she had been forced to give them one second of vacation.

Both sides equally miserable. That to me was the sign of a successful deal.

I was up to 641 confirmed for the upcoming attack. Wasn’t enough.

Back at my place I noticed the Gandrine had returned. I teled Cad to ask him where they had gone but he didn’t answer.

Annoyed, I walked past the Gandrine I was supposedly trying to spy on, and up the street to the apartment where Cad and his friends were hiding.

It was empty.

There was a card table, lots and lots of empty bottles, some take-out food packages, chairs, and two beds. The smell of multiple guys who had been sitting and eating in one room for a week hung in the air.

Hmm.

I wasn’t sure who Cad had hired to keep him company so I couldn’t call them.

I left Cad a tele message to get back to me. Peering out the window I could see the Gandrine easily. I watched them for a few minutes. Yeah, I could see becoming an alcoholic doing this job.

They might have gone to get supplies, but still it was very irresponsible. At least one of them should have stayed on duty.

Back at my place I tried to relax. It wasn’t easy. I was leading a full-scale invasion against an enemy whose capabilities I didn’t know, but assumed to be considerable. Still, I needed to take my mind off things so I didn’t become a nervous wreck.

I got a tele from Delovoa.

“I have the list planned,” he said. “But, can I ask you, how much do you trust these guys you’re hiring?”

“Trust like how?”

“Trust to not steal valuable weapons and armor you give them.”

“Very little. I probably know only about a quarter of them. A lot of them don’t even like each other. They’re from different gangs. It’s only the money bringing them together and the chance to sock it to a corporation.”

“That’s a problem, Hank. What if you give them all this equipment and they don’t show up? Or they steal it? Or they go tell the corporation you’re going to attack? Or go work for them at a higher rate?”

“Well… that would suck.”

“I’m not going with you, so it’s not my neck, but I don’t want you to think you’re marching out with 800 guys and only 300 show up.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to see that either,” I exhaled. “I guess I could only pay them half at the morning of the attack. Then half after. And we only equip them right before the attack. But, we’re not going to get any training done.”